Post # 1
Looking for some words of wisdom. Here’s the details:
My fiance decided to go back to school this past September and with that comes 3 practicums. In late September he found out his first (Jan-end of May) would be a 7/8 hour drive away. As money is tight with his return to school we have only seen eachother once as of yet, but tomorrow he is coming for a week long visit. While I am extremely excited to see him I’m worried that I’m not missing him enough! Sounds a bit crazy, I know, but hear me out. When we began our relationship almost 6 years ago we were in a long distance situation for 8 months. We saw eachother usually every 2 weeks or so, but I missed him like mad! This time around, not so much. Of course I miss him, but not as much as I thought I would or remember missing him the last time.
I had a hard time adjusting to his return to school, he was in class long hours, would leave before I was even out of bed and usually wouldn’t return until after 6 most days and then have homework to do in the evening, leaving an hour or so of exhausted couch time each night. The weekends weren’t much better, he ‘d work Saturdays and Sundays and again came home to homework.
Now, we talk every few days on Skype but sometimes it feels worse talking to him. It just reminds me that hes not here but when I don’t talk to him its almost like I just pretend he’s not here right now (like hes just at school or work, and will be home later). Maybe I’ve just become accustomed to feeling lonely? Please tell me I’m not a terrible person for not missing my fiance enough!!
Post # 2
laciekate: When my SO leaves for hunting trips, but the end of the trip I dont really miss him anymore. I think its because I’m use to being alone and I’m fine not being with him. I love him more than anything, but sometimes I enjoy my me time. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, you’re just okay with being alone.
Post # 3
laciekate: I don’t think you are weird at all. My DH and I have always been varying degrees of long distance and, while it’s not ideal, it’s not soul crushing or anything. When you are in the honeymoon period it’s harder of course, so I think what you’ve experienced there makes sense.
Over the years my DH and I have been different distances apart. For the first year we only saw each other once every several months. Then for years we were driving distance and got to spend every weekend together. For the past year we’ve been flying to see each other every other weekend. I thought it would be hard getting used to the every other weekend cadance, but it hasn’t been so bad.
A lof of people ask how we do it, but I think that we are just both really independent people at heart. While we love being together we can also look on the bright side and enjoy our space and freedom, then make the most of our time together.
Post # 4
I think as time goes on you feel more secure in your relationship and it doesn’t feel so gut wrenching being gone from them as it may have in the beggining. I actually kind of love that I can go on a week long trip now and not feel sad or empty because I miss my FI so much. When I used to travel or he did a few years ago we used to text the whole day, talk all night long on the phone and just want to be home. I now regret that we couldn’t just let each other enjoy some alone time and really absorb the trip you are on. I think you should be proud of yourself that you can be happy and secure without him…some women flip out when alone and that is just sad to me.
Post # 5
In the beginning of our LDR, we had horrible bouts of sadness when we parted. After some time, it became less and less tramautic. It was actually easier for him to leave once we became engaged because I knew there was an end in sight. I’d miss him, sure. But after the first week I settled into a routine and it didn’t ache like it used to. I thought I was a bit odd for it too!
But I think it just comes with time. You’re secure in your relationship (I assume), and you know it’s not forever. I think that makes it much easier. So definitely know you’re not a weirdo and alone in this!
Post # 6
Thanks ladies! That makes me feel much better, I’m glad that there are others out there who are okay with being away from their SO (although its obviously not an ideal situation of course!). 🙂