(Closed) why don’t people want kids at the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Here is a few of my reasons

  • I have kids in my family that are not well mannered and run wild and I cant just not invite them (and we have 30 kids and want a guest list of 60)
  • I am not paying $30 pp for a kid and then not being able to invite an adult i really want
  • we are having it at night Drunk people+ kids= not good



Post # 4
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I have a whooole host of reasons but let me give you the specific examples of times this past Saturday at my brother’s wedding that reaffirmed my belief that a wedding is NO place for a child: 

1) During the ceremony there was a kid fussing/crying and the parent did not take the kid out

2) During dinner another child was banging his butter knife against the table and his glasses, making a lot of noise and disturbing the tables around him

3) After dinner a child pulled on a table cloth and shattered at least one glass (that my brother will now have to pay for)

4) throughout the night there were kids RUNNING around getting in everyone’s way

5) during the garter removal and toss there was a child running circles around the bride/groom. 



Post # 5
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

It’s just a personal preference thing, and I can think of two main reasons:

1. Kids’ behavior is a crap shoot. The really little ones can act up, start crying, etc. Of all the weddings I’ve done this year, about half of the ceremonies were interrupted by crying children, and some brides and groom’s just don’t want to take the risk.

2. Cost. Some couples have TONS of kids of their families, and a lot of vendors still charge an arm and a leg for kid’s meals. They might not be able to afford it, and if they remove all the kids from their guest list, it usually equals about to hundred of dollars in savings.

When it comes to kids, I don’t care what the couple decides. It’s up to them, and I see no problem with parents getting a sitter (or declining the invitation if they can’t get one), or kid’s attending.

Post # 6
1645 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think the reasons Mishelleez gave are the pretty standard ones for not inviting kids. And some people just don’t like kids.

I was adamant about inviting kids, but we had a relaxed, daytime wedding and I LOVE kids. I made goodie bags for them and had fun with them. We only had two who are typically not well behaved, but they didn’t have any “incidents” and I don’t even really remember them being there.

Post # 7
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I understand it especially for a formal wedding. And with kids, the guest count can rise pretty quick. We were extremely casual though so we wanted kids to be there.

Post # 8
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with all the reasons Mishelleez stated as well as…

-I don’t want a baby crying to interrupt the ceremony (it will be outside, there’s not any where to really take the baby).

-We’re just personally not big fans of children…that’s just a us personally thing.

-It’s really just one set of siblings (Fi’s cousins of one of his aunts) that are just awful – bad manners, wild, rude, very loud.

-If we invited children, we’d have to invite all children which would have added 30 people to our guest list…that’s a lot.

-We’re trying to have a elegant, adult, nice reception and in our opinions that’s difficult with children with bed times around the time the reception starts 🙂

It’s just a personal thing 🙂

Post # 9
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

There have been TONS of threads about this, you can search and see all the different things people have said. 

Basically there are pros and cons for having kids at a wedding and for some people the cons outweigh the pros.

Most of the cons revolve around issues with children who don’t behave well or who have parents that don’t watch them and keep them in line (i.e. talking or acting out during the ceremon).  Also, some people feel that their guests can’t have as much fun as a guest if they have to keep an eye on their kids. And some weddings are more formal events or take place in locations that may not be suitable for children.

*I personally, think the pros outweigh the cons, but I’ve been to both types of weddings and understand a couple choosing either option.


Post # 10
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Here are my reasons:

I dont want any kids running out while we are dancing our 1st dance

I dont want them running around my venue

I dont want them putting their little fingers in the chocolate foundation (thank goodness we have someone that will be there all night next to is)

I don’t want them to be unsupervised i.e. parent gets out to get a drink or food and leaves child there next thing you know child is on the dance floor falls and gets step on and that leaves a crying hurt child. I do not want any one to get hurt especially a child.

Post # 11
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have to agree with above all posters.


The cost

The nooise

The annoyance

Dont get me  wrong, I  like kids. Part of me is even (just a tiny) bit sad i didnt have a flower girl etc. But little cousin Helleion i didnt want invited over say….roomate from University that i dont get to see very ofte,

My wedding was small and casual, not formal. I only had 94 people, that includes the head table and my husband etc. I just wanted parents to have a night out, have a few drianks, dance and not run around watching their kids or making sure they were okay.

Post # 12
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am not crazy about children. They’re cute and all, but when I get dressed up and go out for a nice dinner I don’t want a 2 yr old at the table next to me so why would I want one at my wedding? Also, most parents have become immune to their children making noise/running around out of necessity and don’t see anything wrong with behavior I find unacceptable at a formal event.

Post # 13
690 posts
Busy bee

I’m not inviting kids to my wedding, mostly because there are NO children in my family right now.  If I allowed kids it would just be the kids of some of my parents friends, and our guest list is already full.  Plus, there are no special ‘kids meals’ at my venue.

Beyond that, I’m just one of those people that isn’t a huge kid fan. Yeah, they can be adorable, but i’m planning a formal, evening wedding and I’d really just rather it be an adults-only affair. 

Post # 14
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think the biggest reason why people don’t want kids there is that their behavior can be unpredictable.  But I think another important reason why brides don’t want kids at their wedding is because they also want their parent-friends to enjoy the party and have a chance to be social without having to chase down and take care of their kids.

When I got married, I didn’t have many friends with kids yet, so I figure I’d welcome them at my reception.  But all my parent-friends actually wanted to attend my wedding without their kids! 

Post # 15
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

(1) The behavior thing, since you can’t pick and choose the kids that would be invited, we didn’t invite any.

(2) Also, the space thing.  Our venue holds 40 people.  That’s it.  And there are too many adults that we love that we’d have to leave out if we invited children, the kids in our family would take up 75% of that amount.

Post # 16
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

For me, it was about making a super enjoyable, semi-formal, fun adult event.  Married couples, ditch the kids with a sitter, and come party, dance & drink.  Like a date night.  you know, parents, Enjoy your evening, don’t spend it having to babysit your kids.  I wanted it to be a fun adult party.  Most of our friends don’t have kids, none of our immediate relatives are kids (my youngest cousin is 23).  That was the enviroment I wanted to create for the recption. 

There were some cost implications – every person was $40 a head… child or not.  Plus a 5 dollar chair cover for each of them.

I was also worried about screaming during the ceremony.

Those were my main issues.

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