Why don't you want to get married in your hometown?

posted 2 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve heard this. I have an easy answer to why not my home church: My fiance is Jewish, so it’s not allowed,  and I’m not asking him to get baptised. Though personally I no longer identify as Christian, much less Greek Orthodox, so it just works out for me that I fell in love with a Jewish guy.

Why not my home town: I want a daytime outdoor summer wedding, and in my home town, it would more than likely be hot as balls.

ETA: Also FI’s family is coming from all over, and SF is a more exciting destination.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  ladyamalthea.
Post # 3
2064 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

MrsUPS:  complicated question for me. I got married in a different town, same state, where i went to church camp. so i got married in that church with the priest i loved as a child. 

I didnt get married in my home town church because i was afraid that people from our now current town wouldnt come to my home town (so far away) and vise versa. the town i ended up picking was inbetween. plus that church was much much prettier than the churches in my current and home town. the priest i thought would marry me (growing up)  left the priest hood to marry himself . my home town is very small and would have many limitations. another reason i didnt do it in my current town was because i know so many people, so does DH, i knew the wedding would be huge!!!! And i didnt really want a 200-300 plus wedding. 

Post # 6
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MrsUPS: We only got asked this by friends from our hometown. The answer was pretty simple — we no longer live there or have our lives there. So our wedding is an adopted hometown wedding for us and destination wedding for everyone else. Our venue is in Sonoma, so it’s pretty popular as a destination in and of itself. 

Post # 7
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Dreams Resort and Spa, Puerto Aventuras, Mexico

I have two simple answers for this:

1) My fiance is from Brazil, and his family lives there. It would be prohibitively expensive for them to come to the US due to visa costs, before plane tickets and hotel. The same is true if we had the wedding in Brazil for my family. Mexico doesn’t require a visa from either country, so it’s a good neutral location that is equally accessible to everyone.

2) I don’t have a home town. I grew up military, moving every year or two. To me, a place is just a place, nothing to get attached to. Neither of us have family where we currently live, so everyone has to travel anyway. Why not go somewhere fun, instead of Michigan?

Post # 8
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Prague is my second (and current) home. It is also where my mom was born and I have lots of family and history here. No one has asked and no one who knows me would.


Post # 9
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Because where I am getting married is one of the most beautiful places in Australia. Who would pass that up?! But also, it’s so I don’t have to deal with bridesmaids (don’t get me started on that issue) and also my fiance lives on the other side of the world, so it’s a little unfair if we got married with all of my friends and family around, and he doesn’t get his, so it works out well for both of us i the end. 

Post # 10
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

Although my husband and I identify as christians we dont go to church. We have found many churches have views and postions that we do not feel were what the bible intended. We also both feel that god’s church is outside not a building built by man. So as to the pastor we do not have one we have a book of god and our hearts to keep true to.

My husband was raised in a small town in western NY, and I was raised in northern, VA DC metro. Western NY weddings can be had for cheap but portions of my family are also political and petty. I did not want to deal with the petty. Northern VA/Baltimore weddings are expensive. We searched for a middle ground but we were still finding it to be expensive. The worst was if we did in one of these areas we were looking at over 100 heads, and I wasnt going to have a planner between that and the cost I was stressing out.

Finally I have a restrictive diet and family members with that problem. We found a lot of caterers being a little too nonchalant for comfort.

We chose Disney because it made everything fair. We will have 60 guests max which I can handle. They had outdoor venues for our ceremony. Everyone has to travel now but its one of the cheapest destinations to travel to. We know they handle special diets well. We are both Disney Fanatics, and we have very fond memories at the parks. We figured if we’re spending the money we are getting the wedding we want. This meant no dancing, with fireworks, and a lot of other nontraditional bits. For me a planner meant less stress. It just works for us.

Post # 11
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would have loved to get married in my hometown church.  I grew up going there, taking classes, the priests had been to our house for dinners, and it’s a beautiful place.  The reason we didn’t was one of the guys I grew up with became a priest and had preformed the wedding mass for just about every kid from our neighborhood, got sick and passed away before I got engaged.  It just kind of made it not so important, because not only was a Catholic mass part of what I wanted, this priest was paticularly important to me.  It would have made me very sad and distracted.  Plus as PP said Baltimore is not a cheap place to get married.

So we got married in a beautiful town down south, and my family got a long weekend break from the snow in the North for the beach.  Most of my extended family lived close by, DH’s family all lives close, just my brother’s had to travel. 

Post # 12
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t remember if anyone asked us that question but my answer would have been ” because we wanted to get married on the beach.” They don’t have those in upstate NY.

Post # 13
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Bec we loved the idea of a destination and that solved the problems of ‘do we choose DHs city where his family lives, or my city where my family lives’ and ‘do we do a church, barn, grand hotel, state park, etc’? We love to travel and so do both our families, we wanted a very small event, no bridal party, so we knew that would pretty much eliminate a huge guest list and bm drama. We still had a tradition religious ceremony and fairly traditionally reception. But we had no showers and no gifts.

Post # 14
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We aren’ religious and I’ve been a nomad a significant portion of my life, so I don’t really have a “hometown” and I would’nt get married in an acutal church because that’s not us. We decided to have a DW because the cost of what we began to plan (traditional, invited all family, friends, associates and friends of family) it began to balloon to a price that we felt would be better used to our first love – travel. So we ditched all that, and planned a 2 week excusion with a day dedicated to wedding festivities. I don’t regret it at all – aside from not just straight eloping (we invited about 12 people and it will only be 6 of us). The biggest stress has been related to guests.

Post # 15
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MrsUPS:  Yeah a couple people chimed in on facebook when my mom announced the wedding venue to world (which is a whole different issue haha!) it’s like maybe I don’t want to pay for the town venue that is really expensive? we’re getting married an hour and a half from my home town, about an hour from FI’s hometown. So it’s actually more fair that way. Also I’m Jewish, my home town synagogue, well that would be awkward because then the whole temple would think they’re invited, and we can’t invite them all obviously, because we are not millionaires or something. And we wanted to get married somewhere really beautiful 🙂

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