Post # 1
Hi everyone! My bf of 9 years didn’t tell me about it. I found out from his good friends who are married and invited to a wedding and already made plans with my bf about it. It was akward I didn’t know. I almost cried in front of them.
I’m probably not invited. But he could tell me at least.
On the top of this, all his friends are now married and we’re not. I feel really weird about this.
I decided to think my bf forgot to tell me and let it go. But what if he didn’t, why is this happening?
I won’t even mention this to him or talk because it will turn into a fight. He is very defensive and impulsive so I completely avoid it.
Post # 2
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
You’re not going to mention it because he’s defensive and impulsive? Wow, sounds like a winner. Are you going to continue NOT mentioning things that bother you… forever?
I absolutely would bring this up. I’d just ask: Why didn’t you mention so and so were gtting married? See what he says.
Post # 3
prahajess: Agree, OP you have to mention this. Are you not going to mention stuff that bothers you because it might be a fight? Are you sure you want to be with someone that flies off the handle for that sort of stuff anyway? Or someone that doesn’t bother to mention that there’s a wedding of some friends, he’s going and you’re not invited (not judging the fact you’re not invited, judging the fact he didn’t tell you)? How close are you guys? 9 years is a long time and you should be able to communicate a bit more easily at this point.
Post # 4
Yeah you need to be able to ask him about this. It’s not even a big deal. If you want to marry this guy, how are you going to be able to talk to him about big issues related to money, kids, etc? Just bring it up in a non-attacking way and see what he says.
Post # 5
Marriage is an issue for us. I had to give up on that idea because he doesn’t want marriage. We both avoid the issue when it’s about us. But this is about his friends. I don’t understand why he kept it a secret? He though I would be less hurt this way or I’d never found out?
Post # 6
He sounds like a class A douche.
Post # 7
unlucky: Maybe he didn’t tell you because he knew how you would react?
Post # 8
Why are you with someone that you can’t discuss your feelings with?
Post # 9
I wouldn’t react. I’m used to hearing how everyone is getting married but us. Sure I would be sad, but much less than now. I had never gave him hard time about marriage. We discussed it and that’s it, we don’t anymore.
Post # 10
Um given how long are have been together why wouldn’t you be invited? And on top of that, clearly you want to get married and he doesn’t… Are you willing to give it up forever without complaint because he won’t change his mind
Post # 11
BtoR: I’m not close to the couple who is getting married but my bf is. Still I feel rejected not only for not being invited, but for not knowing about the wedding.
I don’t want to change my bf’s mind about marriage. But I feel left out because he kept this from me.
I even pretended in front of his friends who told me about the wedding like I knew about it because they acted like I did know.
Post # 12
unlucky: I think you need to have a chat with your bf. Ask about it in casual conversation and see what he says. I am going to be honest here though, to me it seems you are choosing to be ok with not getting married but that you actually do want to, and I might be off base.
Post # 13
BtoR: You are right. I am choosing to be ok with not getting married but I actually do want to. There’s nothing do to about that because I want to be with him.
I’m just surprised are his friends are treating me like I’m some gf because I’m not his wife? And will my bf hide weddings from me and for how long?
When we were 3 years together his friend invited us to his wedding. It feels sad to be put aside after 9 years.
Post # 14
We teach people how to treat us…so you’re sad he is putting you to the side after 9 years but you need to remember that you are allowing him to…if you don’t take care of you and protect you how can you expect others to? Loving yourself needs to be your priority.
Post # 15
unlucky: I decided to think my bf forgot to tell me and let it go. But what if he didn’t, why is this happening?<br /><br />
Why did you let it go if you are upset? You need to communicate with your BF and stop putting your head in the sand. If this is important to you, it is worthy of a conversation.