Why he didn't tell me his best friend is getting married?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

You’re not going to mention it because he’s defensive and impulsive? Wow, sounds like a winner. Are you going to continue NOT mentioning things that bother you… forever?

I absolutely would bring this up. I’d just ask: Why didn’t you mention so and so were gtting married? See what he says. 

Post # 3
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

prahajess:  Agree, OP you have to mention this. Are you not going to mention stuff that bothers you because it might be a fight? Are you sure you want to be with someone that flies off the handle for that sort of stuff anyway? Or someone that doesn’t bother to mention that there’s a wedding of some friends, he’s going and you’re not invited (not judging the fact you’re not invited, judging the fact he didn’t tell you)? How close are you guys? 9 years is a long time and you should be able to communicate a bit more easily at this point. 

Post # 4
Member
4825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah you need to be able to ask him about this. It’s not even a big deal. If you want to marry this guy, how are you going to be able to talk to him about big issues related to money, kids, etc? Just bring it up in a non-attacking way and see what he says. 

Post # 6
Member
870 posts
Busy bee

He sounds like a class A douche. 

Post # 7
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

unlucky:  Maybe he didn’t tell you because he knew how you would react? 

 

Post # 8
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Why are you with someone that you can’t discuss your feelings with?

Post # 10
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Um given how long are have been together why wouldn’t you be invited? And on top of that, clearly you want to get married and he doesn’t… Are you willing to give it up forever without complaint because he won’t change his mind

Post # 12
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

unlucky:  I think you need to have a chat with your bf. Ask about it in casual conversation and see what he says. I am going to be honest here though, to me it seems you are choosing to be ok with not getting married but that you actually do want to, and I might be off base.

Post # 14
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

unlucky:  

We teach people how to treat us…so you’re sad he is putting you to the side after 9 years but you need to remember that you are allowing him to…if you don’t take care of you and protect you how can you expect others to? Loving yourself needs to be your priority.

Post # 15
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

unlucky:  I decided to think my bf forgot to tell me and let it go. But what if he didn’t, why is this happening?<br /><br />

Why did you let it go if you are upset? You need to communicate with your BF and stop putting your head in the sand. If this is important to you, it is worthy of a conversation.

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