Why I cannot stand to look at your pregnancy tests…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m sorry you are feeling so unfulfilled. Would it be possbile to distract yourself by volunteering somewhere? You could try big brother/big sisters or some other kid orientated organization so that you could interact with children and feel like you are making the world a better place.

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@ohmybears48:  I know you guys aren’t actively trying, but perhaps you could meet with your GP or a specialist just to get some ideas of what might work? I am not an expert by any means, but maybe charting would help you figure out the best time to TTC? I totally get how you feel – sometimes it is hard to watch others achieve goals that we feel are out of our reach. I feel like that way when my friends get awesome new jobs. That’s great for them – and a reminder that I’m getting nowhere with that.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I definitely feel a medical professional is your best bet. Don’t Google it – you won’t get proper information that way. All hope is not lost and a medical professional can at least help shed some more light on your journey.

Post # 6
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@ohmybears48:  That sounds awesome. I wish I didn’t have so many pet allergies so that I could do that. It sounds to me like you’re having a down day and you need to go cuddle one of those critters you’ve been helping to rescue.

Post # 7
Member
6928 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh honey 🙁 I understand COMPLETELY. I also have endometriosis (on top of PCOS and a fallopian tube issue) and it can take over your thoughts! DH and I have been having unprotected sex since 6 months before our wedding…2 years. It can really do a number on your mind. I have had several “maybe I’m pregnant?” moments over the last 5-6 years, but undoubtedly get the “not pregnant” result and a period a few weeks later (my cycle is stupid and like 90+ days long.)

I feel very similarly to you on the medical intervention piece as well. I’m willing to try drugs that supposedly stimulate ovulation, but that’s about as far as I’m comfortable going. I’ve already talked to many people about the adoption process, as my youngest sister is adopted (as were both of my parents, because my grandparents had fertility issues) so I have some first-hand knowledge of adopting. I would say “don’t worry, it will all work out,” but I know how empty that can sound when you’re in the midst of a “moment” as I like to call mine. Just know that there are many other women out here that feel the same/similar and don’t forget that you aren’t the only one or alone in your feelings.

Post # 9
Member
3153 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

*hugs* I can sympathize. I’ve never been on BC and for the last 12 years have been in two very long-term relationships, both eventually unprotected because we were okay with the idea of pregnancy. I’ve seen hundreds of negative tests. It’s hard. Just try not to click on those links unless you know you’re up for it. They are very hard to deal with and I’ve had my share of bitterness. It will get better, I promise. Miracles do and can happen.

 

Have you spoke to an RE about any type of fertility options other than IVF? I’m sure there is something out there for you. Have you had laparoscopic surgery to remove the endo?

ETA: Sorry, I see others asked the same as me, and you answered, while I was typing.

Post # 10
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@ohmybears48:  My SIL has miscarriages constantly. I’ve had 2. I have no idea if I will be able to carry to term or not. Getting pregnant is not my problem – carrying to term is. We are against medical intervention too, and I think what helped us cope was to have a backup plan. We talk about all the countries we will visit, how much time we will have to spend together, that we would be able to afford a vacation house. Yes, we want kids. FI wants them badly. However, it is not the only key to happiness. We have come to a place where we are okay with plan a or plan b. I do understand your pain though :-

Post # 11
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

 I’m so  so sorry.  Dh is infertile,  and I identify with so much of what you’ve written.  And I LOVE your rescue work 🙂  I wonder if it might be worth another trip to the RE.  Options may have changed since you were in college.  it’s a rapidly changing field.  Honestly, I don’t know anything about treatments for your issue,  but there may be something far short of ivf.   During the testing we had to go through,  they found a clotting issue with me,  but ivf doesn’t get around it.  So I take baby aspirin,  special folic acid,  and will take blood thinners.  Maybe even that is too medical for you,  but perhaps there is something non invasive that will give you a shot?

Post # 12
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ohmybears48:  *Hugs* I know exactly how you feel! I find myself falling into that mess of feelings as well, more so lately than ever before. Have never gotten a positive test in all the years I’ve taken them, and it does get you feeling crazy after a while. If you’re not where you had expected to be at this point in your life (job, marriage, location or otherwise), then it gets even worse with the added upset. If you ever want to talk to someone about it, please don’t hesitate to message me. You are not alone in this!

Post # 13
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ohmybears48:  I just wanted to chime in here and tell you my SIL’s success story, and hopefully it gives you some hope. She was diagnosed with endo around the age of 16. She has never used birth control with either of her 2 long-term relationships because her doctor told her the chances of her ever getting pregnant were so incredibly slim. She got pregnant at 20, then had an early miscarriage. She went to a different doctor thinking that maybe there would be something to do to help her chances in conceiving again. He told her the same thing – the endo was so bad she would likely never carry a child. She was with her current BF for 4 years with no birth control and no baby, and they decided to get a third opinion. This new doctor was proactive, did a LOT of testing, and scheduled lap surgery, put her on a slew of drugs, and they went to IUI. The IUI was successful on the second try, and she gave birth to a beautiful and healthy little girl last May. Because of her prior history, she never even thought to go back on birth control after her daughter was born. I got a phonecall from her a few days ago to inform me that she just found out she’s pregnant again – with no medical help, they weren’t trying, and she’s already 8-9 weeks along.

*hugs*

Post # 14
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

After years of actively trying our family friends were having no luck conceiving. They went through multiple cycles of IVF and still nothing.

After about 6-7 years of trying they found out they had conceived naturally and went on to have a very healthy child. 2 years later she had twins naturally. 

 

Never give up! 

Thinking of you x

Post # 15
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I can totally relate! 

I’ve had several cystes (sp?) over the years, my right side overy is gone, and to quote grey’s anatomy, I have a hostile uterus,….the chance of having a baby was extremly little so we risked it. After a few years I did get pregnant, my baby was not happy for the last 2 weeks because the placenta started to, i dunno…go bad or something but we do have a happy healty daughter! I know I will never be able to have an other child, recently the obgyn discoverd early signs of cancer in my uterus (or that area) and it will probably be removed within the next two years or so…All I wanted to say was not to give up hope, maybe, by some weird twist you will get pregnant, just know that it is possible…even with a mean uterus and only one overy!

Post # 16
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@ohmybears48:  Can I ask why you’re against medical intervention? I understand if it’s too sensitive to share, but I thought I’d ask. You see, as someone who doesn’t want children — I never have — all I thought when I read your posts was, “That woman is meant to be a mom.” Your desire to have kids is strange and cool and wonderful to me, and it seems (to me) to be the most important factor in whether you’re meant to have them, way more important than some trick of biology which modern medicine can help you overcome.

Anyway. I hope this message doesn’t rub you the wrong way; I promise I write it with only good intentions. All I mean is, you would probably make an amazing mom, and I think your desire to be a mom means far more, in terms of whether you’re meant to have children, than the endometriosis does. 🙂

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