(Closed) Why I love the Internet, being a woman and wedding blogs

posted 8 years ago in Technology
Post # 3
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i don’t really have anything to add, but i totally agree with you (and meg). i understand the anti-materialism/anti-paternalism that goes in to wedding-bashing arguments, but to me it’s throwing the baby out with the bathwater. i believe culture and tradition is fluid, and gets reinvented constantly. choosing to celebrate our decision to spend our lives together with those we love the most is a meaningful reason for us to have a wedding, and spending money consciously, on items and on vendors (mainly from small, women-owned businesses) that we specifically choose is a meaningful way for us to do it.

Post # 4
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I used to read Jezebel all the time but I’ve given it up since I’m spending all my internet time on the Bee.

I like Jez and while I didn’t read that particular article I know that the comments can get judgy from time to time, but since the blog covers all kinds of subject matters I think that’s bound to happen more often on that type of site, so often times if the comments aren’t particularly helpful I choose to ignore them.

However I like the supportiveness on Weddingbee because I feel like it’s a place where most members are excited and genuinely helpful. With it being for a much more specific audience I think that there’s less room for intentionally negative or unhelpful comments.

Post # 6
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well, before I actually started to plan a wedding, I felt the same way: “We’re going to spend no money and have a big party and it will all cost $1000 blah blah blah….” then I met ol’ reality.

Here is the truth behind our “cheap wedding”:

Where will you get married? A park would be cheap, but you’ll want someing inside. Like many, we don’t have any relatives in large cities (and we don’t want to make our friends fly and then drive 4 hrs to bfe) nor could we do it in your one bedroom apt: +$2000 Venue

(But we’ll keep costs really low by having a “small” wedding of 100 people, right? Hehe)

Ok, so you’re going to have how many guests? The open bar alone (which I think is actually pretty cheap for us) is going to be $30 a head—-$3000, $2000 over budget already!

Who is going to marry you, a friend?  Ok because officiants aren’t always free.

What are you going to wear?  You can find awesome dresses for $200…oh but what about that pretty Watters Austin you can’t get out of your head…well, just one more look.  +$2000 Dress

What will these people do whilst their enjoying the open bar?  Oh, I’ll just use my iPod…wait, who will handle this for me when I don’t want to worry abou it?  DJ: $600

How will your guests find out about this, email?  Ok, but who doesn’t love a pretty invite. +$500

What about food to go with that 5 hr open bar? +$4000

Oh, even DIY flowers. +$500

Yeah, He needs clothes to wear and a ring too, Missy. +$1000

Um we don’t have any professional photographer friends.  Boo.  +$1500

Oh, looks like your Fiance just invited his entire office: add 40 guests to that first list.

Before you know it: super cheap, open bar, fun, “just a big party” wedding: $15,000.

This happens, and it is ok.  And it is fun to plan, I am having more fun than I could have ever imagined.  I don’t think I’m greedy or money grubbing, and we’re paying for this ourselves.  My fiance and I are almost exactly 50/50 on our income, so it is not as though I am relying on someone else to pay for my whims.

All I’m saying, is that I used to feel that weddings were too expensive, and then I actually started to plan one.  Getting 100 (140) together is expensive no matter how you do it.  If you can pull it off for super cheap, I’ll bet someone else will be absorbing the costs, whether in time or $$$.  

Post # 8
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@daniellemybelle – I’m supposed to leave for class in a minute, so I am going to read the articles you linked to thoroughly later today. I just wanted to weigh in and say that Jezebel has a lot of interesting stuff, but I have to agree with the previous poster who said they do have some negativity in their comments. I know that some of the comments on the blog posts over there around feminism and race issues have seriously devolved into terrible pointless diatribes, so I don’t think the wedding arena (if that’s what you meant by arena?) is the only one they don’t moderate as well. Maybe it’s just any topic that brings up heated, passionate positions?

At any rate, thanks for linking to these, and I’m looking forward to reading them this afternoon! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think most of us on the bee, even with the range of price points/budgets, can attest to the fact that we are all trying to budget… some have more room, some have less…

but it doesn’t change the fact that i think most brides today aren’t spending thousands and thousands of dollars just to play cinderella for a day. some may have it easier with parental support, but that’s not to negate that brings additional guests (additional costs).

tit for tat right?

i think the online community in general has a unifying effect, even through the ranges of opinions, budgets, styles, frugality, etc. because the “average”/”most” bridese are all trying to have one goal in mind: a dream wedding on a budget that fits THEIR life. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

Honestly, the article didn’t offend me at all. It’s their opinion. THEY dont understand some of the new trends in wedding planning. I didn’t feel like they were bashing though… However I  did not read the comments so maybe there was bridal bashing with in the comments. The article itself though was amusing and interesting. And honestly I dont get some of the ‘new trends’ in wedding planning. People are different so of course their weddings will be different.

And I agree wedding bee is a very supportive community.

I’m sure your wedding will be amazing!

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