- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
This is from a while ago but I thought I’d give an update. BTW, thanks for all the responses on that post. I am fine without a ring, I don’t need one because I know my FI is committed to us and our future, however I thought I’d give an update on the situation.
It has been about a year since FI proposed and he all of a sudden asked me if he could buy me a ring. I of course replied that my reasons for not having one are still really strong, ethically, environmental, cost etc. He then confesses that he read one of the tabs I had accidently left open on WB about engagement rings (not my thread above, obv) and read all these girls opinions about how an engagement ring should be three months of an FI’s salary, how someone isn’t serious about being engaged unless they have one, how it looks like the FI is cheap if he hasn’t bought one, etc, etc. And I guess he got super upset about it. I mean I KNOW he is NOT cheap by any means and I believe we shouldn’t care what people think, but I think we all know it is hard not too.
I am really bad at closing tabs (I promise I am getting better!) and I reassured him that I don’t share those same feelings. And that I REALLY don’t care, he has bought us a condo to live in, he works hard to help pay the bills and that he is a completely dedicated FI, to me that is enough. He then said that he would really like it for his “man providing feelings” if he could get me a ring.
I have sort of given in. We did a bit of looking at 10,000 villages, but he felt those rings weren’t good enough. I would really like it that I could find a ring that is environmentally friendly, doesn’t have a sketchy ethical background and is…for lack of a better world “inexpensive.” I would get something of etsy or the internet but I would prefer not to go that route, distance, etc.
I have given serious thought about using my grandmother’s wedding ring as my engagment ring, my mom has the engagement ring and apparently she is not giving it to me till she dies. But I don’t know how my mom/aunts would feel about it. My grandmother passed away when she was 48, so my oldest aunt was 18 and the youngest were around 12. I don’t want to step on any toes you know?
After she passed away my grandfather basically had a huge breakdown and became a super sad alcoholic and my aunts/mom had to run his businesses for him, so basically the family unit collapsed. I would let FI pay for the resizing, as my grandma had tiny hands and I do not. But I still think this may not be good enough to settle his “man providing feelings.”
Oh, why, oh why did I have to leave THAT tab open. I was happy without all this ring talk, lol!