Post # 1
It’s just not, I assume this is probably the only time in my life I will be engaged (I say probably because I’m a realist), so I want to enjoy it. But life is stressful and nothing feels all that fun. Not to mention I want to dream about the dream wedding but I am so money conscious I lock myself into thinking about what we can do only, which is less dream like. Anyone have any tips for enjoying the engagement part?
Post # 3
Don’t compare. Your wedding will be special because it celebrates the love between you and your FI.
Post # 4
@AliceOwlLoveLace: I think you just need to stop thinking about it. The wedding industry builds up engagement as this magical time. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. You’re still dealing with real life during your engagement so it’s not going to be all puppies and rainbows. And some people like the planning process more than others.
As long as you want to marry your FI and you stick within budget for your wedding, I don’t see anything as being wrong here. I too am a realist, though lol.
Post # 5
Don’t think you should be living up to some unrealistic ideal of what an engagement should be. It is what it is and nothing more. Focus on the positive, not what you can’t have.
When I first got engaged all I could focus on was: I’m not with my friends and family so I can’t enjoy it; Woe is me- we moved and if we hadn’t the wedding would have been paid for already on my salary alone; I could have had the David Tutera package if we hadn’t moved; blah blah blah…
Once I let go of all that, I focused on what I did have and how special our love is. So we didn’t have an engagement party, so my parents didn’t send us an engagement gift, so I wasn’t able to surprise anyone with my ring, so what! I’m engaged to a man I love and that’s what matters.
Post # 6
I admit I have had a little bit of this feeling, being so far from my mom and friends. Then again, I was able to dress shop on my own which I actually preferred (sent pictures to my mom and best girlfriend for opinions) and FI and I are doing it our way without having to hear a million opinions. It’s going to be us, and it’s going to be perfect and that is all that will matter at the end of the day.
Post # 7
I love all the bees on this site, thank you for such rational words.
Post # 8
All the bees are great at quashing the crazy.
Post # 9
I think because you’re worrying too much about the wedding.
It’s fun for me in large part because if at the end of the wedding we are married, I will consider it a success, full stop. And we are already focusing more on plans for after the wedding. (FI is excited to start TTC and keeps making lurid jokes about it, lol!)
Post # 10
@joya_aspera: Same here.
I’m a realist and frugal, and I’m having a lot of fun being engaged and planning the wedding. Maybe it’s because we’ve only had a few hiccups that I’m not having this “terrible” time that other brides post about.
But yes, FI and I are planning past the wedding, too. House, dog, baby, careers, fun things like that. 🙂