Post # 1
I know this has been talked about on the boards before but most of the threads I came across were pretty old, so in response to Miss Knitting’s recent blog on guest attire (for those that haven’t read it – she does not care if someone wears white), I wanted to ask the question: why is it so terrible for someone other than the bride to wear white to a wedding? is it really that big of a deal?
I ask this in all honesty beucase I really don’t understand why it is such a touchy subject.
I once wore an ivory and black dress to a wedding. I was young and had not been to very many weddings before so I did not know that this was absolutely forbidden in wedding land. It wasn’t until a friend of mine was looking at pictures and gasped in horror that I found out what a mistake I had made. I felt horrible and was so so so embarrassed. i cringe whenever i think about it.
While I will never ever make that mistake again, I still don’t get why it was such a big deal. My dress was mostly ivory but it also had black lace and black trim, so it was in no way an all white dress. It was also so clearly a cocktail dress and not a wedding dress. Knowing what I know now, I’m mortified when I think back on it, but i would hate for any of my guests to feel that way at my wedding. If they want to wear a hot white cocktail dress, go for it. I don’t think there will be any confusion as to who the bride is. I just want my guests to feel great.
What are your thoughts on this? Would you really be upset if someone wore white or ivory to your wedding?
Post # 3
Not going to lie- I probably wouldn’t care.
I was watching “Father of the Bride” over the weekend and noticed that the mother of the bride wore a whiteish/ivory dress. It didn’t look at all like a wedding dress, but it was white!
Post # 4
@SerenaSF: out of all the colours in the world and all the dresses a guest could choose, why wear white or ivory when you KNOW the bride will be wearing it and its her day to kind of “stand out”…..i guess thats what it comes down to.
Post # 5
It really depends on the style of dress. I wouldn’t be livid, but I would be disappointed if someone wore white to my wedding. Especially if this person were a typical attention-grabbing person, I would assume they did it to steal my spotlight. If it were someone younger, I wouldn’t care because I would assume they just didn’t know any better. Most brides wear white and I think it’s nice if they stand out by being the only one in all white.
Post # 6
white and ivory are reserved for the bride at a wedding. if the bride is okay with her mom or bms wearing an ivory dress, that’s the brides decision, but white/ivory are off-limits to guests.
Post # 7
Im not sure when/how it started but I think the point of not wearing white is because you dont want to draw attention to yourself and away from the bride.
I had several people wear short white dresses to my wedding and thought they looked cute and did not care at all! No one looked as good as me anyways! 😉
Post # 8
I can see why its a touchy subject, especially when some brides are very particular about everything on their day being perfect. I’m brought to that episode of Bridezillas when the mother of the bride bought a white dress..
I rather my guests wear white than something that leaves little to the imagination!
Post # 9
I would be irritated. As Baileyh said, there are plenty of dresses in plenty of colors – why choose white when you know that’s what the bride will be wearing?
(Though I do note that I wore a sundress with a black and white pattern to a summer wedding, with black shoes, headband, etc. I think what OP wore was probably just fine. It’s when the dress is solid white and/or white accessories are involved that things get tricky.)
Post # 10
I agree that white or ivory dresses are off limits to guests no matter what, as that color is reserved for the bride.
However, I have worn a black and white dress to several weddings. It’s a large floral pattern and probably about 50/50 black to white. The pattern is all over the dress also. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wearing a dress has white in a pattern, as long as it’s less than 50% white.
Post # 11
I think a dress that is black and white or ivory is fine. (or any other color and white/ivory) I also think a young guest wearing white would not bother me in the least bit. (think flower girl or young teen)
I have an aunt who just wore all white to my cousin’s wedding and she is the kind of woman who dresses to get attention. That bothered my cousin and it would have bothered me. I also just went to another wedding (black tie) where a woman wore a shiny ivory gown – yikes – that would make me upset!
I actually think the intentions of the person wearing the dress would determine my reaction to some extent as well as the style of the dress. The main idea being, let the bride shine on her big day 🙂
Post # 12
It’s rude because you’re not the bride. That’s it really. You know (or at least in most cases, know) the bride will be wearing white. Why do you have to too?
Post # 13
I wore white pants to a friend’s wedding this summer. She got married outside…in Las Vegas. I felt the white was justified. She was a low-key bride so she honestly didn’t care.
Post # 14
@JamaicaBride: I think there’s also a world of difference between white pants and a white dress.
Unless the bride is into quirky wedding attire, no one is going to be wondering whether the woman with good taste in tailoring is the hostess.
Post # 15
I honestly wouldn’t care. I had a few friends planning to wear green to our reception (I wore a green dress) and I was actually excited about it…and a family member wore purple and black to our wedding, which was my color combo as well, but I didn’t mind one bit. If I had worn white and someone else did, I wouldn’t care either.
Post # 16
I probably wouldn’t care. I know it’s supposed to be an etiquette thing so as not to take attention away from the bride, but unless the offender tries to walk down the aisle at the ceremony before I come in, it’s not like there’s going to be any confusion as to who the bride is (and I should hope there wouldn’t be anyway, since all the guests except for a few of FI’s distant relatives know me very well).
Basically, I’m way too confident and happy to be getting married that one person’s ill-advised fashion choice is going to throw off my day.
Unless they show up in jeggings. Then they get thrown out into the cold 😛