Post # 1
So I have been reading up on wedding etiquette. I am puzzled over the idea I have read in several different places that it is rude to bring a gift to the reception?
5 out of 5 of the last weddings I attended had a gift table with a card box at the reception. The last wedding I attended, was over an hour and a half away from our home. We bought the couple baking supplies from their registry. It was pretty heavy. I can’t image the cost of mailing the gift before or after the wedding. And I certainly would not have made a separate drive to drop off the present.
So what are your thoughts? Is this just a new idea from the wedding machine or am I totally crazy for not knowing about this?
I plan on having a gift/card table at my reception. If guests are going to buy me a gift the least I can do for them is save them postage, gas and the hassle of sending it separately.
Post # 3
I am not sure if this differs by region but every venue I had checked in So Cal said offered gift tables in their packages. All our guests brought their gifts to the wedding and we had no problem with it. We even took a cute photo shaking the gifts :p
Post # 4
um, I’ve never once heard that it was rude to bring a gift to the reception, we had a gift table, and lot’s of people brought their gifts to give to us.
What wedding etiquette are you reading? Just curious, maybe it’s a regional thing. In the south I know it’s not rude AT ALL.
Post # 5
I think the reason may be b/c well how does the couple get everything home? DH and I went straight to our honeymoon so my mom was in charge of getting the gifts home. I think that it’s mainly out of consideration that the couple or couple’s family will already be packing & transporting decor, left over food, and anything brought to get ready with.
We did have a gift table and my mom was set on bringing the gift that had been mailed to the house the week previous….. she wanted to see them all on the table. lol
I really have no idea how they got everything.. but hey they did! lol
Post # 6
I’m surprised. I didn’t think it was rude that people bought us gifts off our or regristry. That’s what the gift table was there for.
Post # 6
@ktisthatbees: same, i never heard that it was rude and it’s common here.
Post # 7
Well that I just did not know! It doesn’t really make sense too, unless they meant gifts that didn’t not come direct from the registry. I think one should just be grateful regardless of how they receive it.
Post # 8
I agree with you. Unless it’s a DW I don’t really see the point in shipping the gifts beforehand if you plan to attend the wedding. Then again, where I come from almost all wedding gifts are monetary. I’ve attended half a dozen weddings in the last few years and every single one had a gift table and card box. We plan to follow suit.
Post # 9
I’ve heard that it’s inconvenient to bring gifts to the reception, but I haven’t heard that it’s rude. I understand that they’ll have a lot of presents to take care of right before they go on their honeymoon…. but I also understand that I’m usually an OOT guest, so I’m not mailing your present, sorry. Plus, there would be no need for a gift table if it was considered rude to bring your gift to the reception IMO. I think they’re pretty standard at most weddings. Oh well 🙂
Post # 10
I’ve never heard that it was rude, but I always have thought that it was better to send the present to the bride’s home before the wedding. And this is not a new thing…when I married the first time twenty years ago, most of my gifts came to my parent’s home before the wedding.
The reasoning is because you don’t want to make the bride and groom have to carry out a bunch of boxes AFTER the reception. They may not have room in their car for them. Also, I have heard of presents being stolen from receptions (yes, it happens). Usually, if you buy off the registry, the store will offer to wrap and ship the present for you.
Post # 11
I don’t think it’s at ALL rude to bring gifts to the wedding, from the registry or not. We have a gift table for our wedding as well.
BUT I will say that it is not very common to bring a gift to a wedding in my area. People either send gifts ahead of time, or give cash. In my experience there’s only been maybe a handful of gifts on the gift tables at the weddings I’ve been to in this area. I think it’s because cash in a card is easier for both the gift giver and the wedding couple. Although again, it would never be rude.
Post # 12
If you know it’s going to be difficult for the couple to get it home, then I would say it’s a little thoughtless. It’s pretty standard here for guests to bring gifts to the reception though. It did take a little work to get everything packed up after my sister’s wedding, so I can see where this came from (although it was doable).
I have also read etiquette articles that says you should ship a gift to the couples home. I disagree this is the only option. These articles also say that the address should be provided with the registry. Most of the stores here do not do that.
If a couple is having a destination wedding, I would mail the present to their place, arrange for in store pickup, bring it to them another time, or gift a cheque or gift card. Ditto on the cheque or gift card if the couple was moving soon. I don’t think it’s rude to bring a reasonably sized gift to a reception in a city where the couple lives though.
Post # 13
I agree that it is slightly inconvenient for the bride and groom to arrange to get everything home, but I don’t think it’s rude at all! I typically bring either a gift or card in person when I’m attending a local wedding, but ship it so that I don’t have to carry it when traveling out of town.
Post # 14
I dont think its rude, but maybe its my area. I have never been to a wedding that didnt have a gift/card table.
Post # 15
I hate gifts at weddings. Bring them money unless they send their invites with gift registry info. Then it doesn’t matter. My opinion.