Post # 1
I was never a big partier in college, I actually wasn’t all that social. I had classmates who were friends and we would have dinner on occasion, but I never cared much for going out, getting drunk, and running wild with them.
I’ve noticed that now, I’ve fallen away from my “best” friend who was glued to my side through college (our parting isn’t exactly a bad thing.) One of my best friends since pre-school moved away with her husband who is in the airforce, and I was never really close with anyone else. DH and I have a couple whom we’re both really good friends with, but I feel like a pain constantly asking them to hang out given how busy they both are.
Idk. I guess this post is my of saying I’m lonely, and I’m not really sure what to do about it! My best friend is my sister who now has a newborn, and my other good friend (SIL) has two kids.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m ready to go out some nights and have drinks, but no longer have many girlfriends left. Gah! I don’t how to be social. :/ Who wants to give me tips on how to make friends? No, seriously. Help?
Post # 3
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Post # 4
@OnceUponATime: Do you have any hobbies? I find that making friends at work isn’t really easy but I have always had luck when volunteering or going to local book clubs! Check facebook and see if there are any activities going on in your area. Church is also another place to look (even if your not religious).
Post # 5
@Payless: I have to chuckle at the thought of church activities. I live out in the country (on top of a mountain, to be specific!) my church has 25 members. 4/5 over the age of 40 and 1/4 under the age of 10! lol We’re an odd bunch 😛
I actually have a lot of hobbies, running, weightlifting, baking, scrapbooking. I live in such a rural area that group activities aren’t all that common. I’ll definitely keep a lookout!
Post # 6
Hi! I completely know where you are coming from. I actually had a similar post a few months ago. As PP if you have a hobby look up on meetup and see if there is a group that you could join. I play in a really fun adult indoor soccer league and in the summer play volleyball. It’s really fun and a great way to meet people! What’s cool about playing in a league is no one cares about your level of skill and everyone is just there to have fun, meet people, and stay in shape.
Post # 7
When we are younger close friendships are more common, because people tend to be in more proximity to us (school) … and we are on the same journey thru life & discovery…
As we age, we become more independent so we aren’t tied to the same “herd” experiences… this is what makes it more difficult
It is my experience that the next big opportunity to make life-long friends comes when you have kids, and then a lot of bonding happens over that experience, and meeting women / Moms at activities that your kids are invovled in
At 50+, this is now where most of my current long-term GFs have originated from…
As others have said, you need to find a way to interact with adult women who have some of the same interests as yourself… Sports, Hobbies etc is a key way
If you cannot find a group… because you live in a rural area… be aware that you may be a “God send” to others by starting one up. (Such as a Scrapbooking Club, if this is something you currently do on your own at home alone)
Something to think about.
Post # 8
@OnceUponATime: check out meetup.com. I have met some good friends there.
Post # 9
When we are in school, friendships happen more organically, because we spend so much time together.
My ex-husband used to be transferred every year. Those people in my new city already had friends. I was the one who needed friends, so it was up to me to make the first move. I invited women I met at the gym, the library, my sorority, the Jaycettes , church etc to go for coffe, then moved on to inviting them with their partner to our home for coffee and dessert (easier way to start then dinner).
Put yourself out there. There are nice people everywhere.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
Have you tried meetup.com? I know you said you are in a rural area, but if you are willing to travel you may make some friends through that site.
I totally understand what you mean about making friends. DH and I had a solid group of friends, but we just moved 700 miles away from home a few months ago. It’s definitely been tough, but meetup.com has helped. We also live in an apartment complex and have been able to make friends that way (introducing ourselves to neighbors, etc.). It’s hard to make that first step, and we joke that it’s like dating all over again, but we’ve made some great friendships by putting ourselves out there and just saying hello!
Post # 11
@OnceUponATime: Oh no! I live in the middle of no where land too but I can blame that on my DH and his base assignment 😉
I giggled at your church description! Sounds like the cowboy church I used to attend back in benson Arizona lol
I really hope you find someone to share you hobbies soon because I definitely know what it is like! I am still in college but can’t relate to most of the people my age and my older friends all have kids so I am stuck in the middle. It took work but I finally found a couple of girls to call my own 🙂
Crossing fingers that your friend search improves soon!
Post # 12
OP, julies is SO right about making the first move!