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i had an effing CRAZY guy from my past hassling me while I was engaged. I'm so thankful to be married to DH now... stay away, crazies!!!
@elliestan: my exboyfriend from when I was 16 found me on facebook. He only had 2 friends and none were mutual. I'm 23...It's been 7 years, why would you add me?? Why would you even try to find me? SO WEIRD! My other ex as soon as I started dating my FI called me to tell me that whenever my FI (then bf) break up to give him a call so we can get back together. ANOTHER guy from when I was 16 found me on facebook and added me. It was one of those things when we were younger where I liked him and he liked me, but we never did anything about it and we never verbalized it...and we liked each other until I was 20...even when I dated his best friend (the one who called and told me we can get back together whenever me and my FI break up). He found me on facebook and proceeded to tell me all about his feelings he had for me when we were younger....
Sheesh, these people are ridiculous! I guess it's human nature . . . you want what you can't have! I have had some guys try to pursue me even after I was in a serious relationship/engaged . . . and the guys knew it. I think that sometimes guys who may have wanted to make a move but never got up the courage to just make a decision and go with it suddenly realize the value of what they missed out on and jump at the chance to make a move when they see that time is running out. "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it". ;-)
I def have one of those crazies! lol we dated when i was 15 until about 17..i took alot of crap from him, he cheated and i still stayed( i was def young and stupi) well its been 10 yrs since we dated and he still tries to tell me he wants me back! seriously? lol go away! I was really good friends with his sister and we still talk not as much as we used to but we still do, well she told him i was getting married because of course he still asks about me...she told me that he was very happy that i was happy, ugh hes annoying. Im hoping that once i get married he will really get the picture? Probably not lol he doesnt know where i live that god, he has actually sat in front of my old house! hes def a crazy!
Ever hear the phrase "Its easier to ge a job when you have a job?"
Its similar
Its because if someone else has you, then there must be great qualities about you. The fact your taken is proof of that. Its really more of a subconscious thought.
Also, for some, I am sure there is a pride/ego thing if they are able to "steal" you from someone else (although I do think this is for a MUCH smaller % of people)
I had an ex contact me to pretend he was happy for me, but he's such the competitive type and he sort of embarrassed himself when I dumped him. I think he was trying to be like "look how okay with this I am" but really he was just hoping I was going to be so happy he contacted me and tell him I have cold feet and can we run away together??
My FI has an ex gf from when he was 16 that won't stay away. I met him when he was 17, He's now 24. She still won't go away 7 years later. When they lived near each other she would invite him over all the time (though he never went) and always lists him as her "best male friend" on those stupid surveys. Everytime she's got a problem with a boyfriend she call him up crying. It's sad. It's become running joke a this point though
FI was my first boyfriend so I never had these problems but his one ex in particular won't leave him alone, especially now that we're engaged.
The one guy I dated when I was 16...we dated for 2 months! After we broke up he dated a girl who was 15...nbd right? Except a month AFTER we broke up he got her pregnant (we broke up because I would NOT lose my virginity to him) and he would call me WHILE he was with her...to tell me he missed me, that he thinks about me, etc. From when I was 16 til I was 20 he would randomly show up at my house to "stop by" and say hi. He would also stop by my job, which was weird cause I never told him where I works. Then years later now he makes a facebook and tries to find me
My ex from college and I keep in touch and chat once in a while, (maybe 3 times per year). We had a very intense and passionate 2 year relationship with a breakup that was just as intense and really broke my heart.
Anyways, about a month before i got married he started contacting me more and more and eventually told me that he still loved me, regretted ending our relationship and basically asked me not to get married. hahahaha. yeah, totally crazy. especially because we broke up 6 years ago and then I gave him a second chance at which time he told me he didn't want to get back together. ok fine with me. But there was definitely something sweet about saying "you had your chance and you blew it"
anyways, i wished him all the best but basically told him that if he ever hopes to talk to me again, he better never utter those things again.
Yep - my ex-husband had a fling. I divorced him (NATURALLY!). He still says "you are my soul mate," "it's the worse mistake I ever made," blah blah blah.
Too late .... I found a REAL MAN
Uh yeah, totally.
I have always had guy friends that were fairly close to me and never even contemplated the whole "romance" option. However, the moment I became engaged it seems they all started mulling this idea over. I suppose though that my 120 pounds of weight loss also contributed to this sudden itch on the part of the men.
I have one friend from college that acted out in such an inappropriate manner that I just avoid him now at all costs. My FI has met him and they have hung out so I can't even begin to understand where this friend is coming from at this point. After nearly 10 years of friendship I just have to let it go and it makes me sad.
@ashleyyyg: yes yes yes! I met my husband about a month and a half after a breakup (we dated 3 years) and at the time my ex was like " i dont want to be together but im not givng up, who knows what future holds for us" meaning "i want to keep my options open but i dont want you running off and finding someone else quite yet" but the minute he found out about the guy i was "talking to" he came back to me and was like this is unbelievable, how coud you move on so fast? is it serious? who is he? how could you do this to me? i wanted to be like wait a minute...you broke up with me remember?
they want what they can't have....
Have you never found a guy more attractive when you know some girl at home loves the hell out of him? Ummm I sure as hell have! If a guy is taken, it means he's good enough to be taken, which means he's desirable... makes perfect, logical sense.
I enojoy the attention.
@lefeymw: Totally agree! All of a sudden my past guy friends and male coworkers won't leave me alone. It's like they're all trying to convince me that they would be better for me. It's flattering but at the same time having all these guys texting me all the time can cause tension between SO and I.
The same thing happened to me. When my ex and I broke up, he admitted that he didn't really want to think about me being with someone else and got a little jealous when I started seeing someone, even though he's the one who broke up with me. Eventually we stopped talking, so he didn't know what I was doing anymore, but I started seeing someone who wouldn't commit to anything serious. I wanted to be officially dating and he just never had the time for me. So then when I met my fiancé and we'd gotten engaged, this guy started texting me, telling me he really misses me. I told him I was engaged and he said he felt like he messed up by letting me go so easily. He texted me a few more times after that and I kept reminding him I'm engaged and now I haven't heard from him in a while.
There was another guy from high school who was one of my brother's good friends, who sent me a whole bunch of messages on facebook after I changed my relationship status. He said he always had a crush on me back then and never had the guts to say anything and now it was too late. The messages got pretty annoying because he just kept saying the same thing over and over, that he wished he'd told me then.
There's also the one who I was completely infatuated with before I met my ex. He had too many issues because he was still hung up on his ex, but we were definitely both really attracted to each other. We ended up staying friends and still talk, but after my ex and I broke up and I started to go out and date other people, he got a little weird and wanted me to give him another chance to make up for how things flopped 3 years earlier. I couldn't do it because he was then hung up on his current ex. Then after a few months him and his ex got back together and I met my fiancé.
I also get hit on a lot more for some reason, now that guys see I have a ring on my finger. I don't get why you would try to flirt with someone who's clearly engaged.
All my exes came out when I got engaged. One was just a BAD relationship that had wrecked me and he wrote me a long letter apologizing and saying how lucky my husband is... uhhh yeah too bad you didn't know that then.
Oh, happened to me several times! But one of them, was very very special to me. We dated for a year, not officially and we never figured out why we never took the "step". When I found my FI he found out about this, and got together with his ex again. They are also engaged today aswell. After that we met once and he told me that his feelings for me will always be there, even though we've chosen to go separate ways. During the whole time we dated he was secluded about his feelings but committed to me and so forth. He spilled the beans when I told him our "inofficial" wedding is in January. It's pretty sad, knowing that he and I could have been something great. I know that what I have now together with the man I truly love is so much better and healthier for me.
One of the guys I dated back in the days was in the Army and it was not serious (or so I thought). When he found out I got engaged 1 1/2 years after we broke off (he still being single after our relationship), he said he always wanted for him and me to have this, engagement, marriage.. etc etc. He said it felt like a slap in the face, because at that point of my life when me and this guy was dating, I was not looking for marriage, serious relationships, and since he was from US and me from Scandinavia I felt it would be impossible to keep it going.. :/
After being engaged, I do feel guys pay more attention. It's cute, and FI kinda gets mini jealous. He knows I am his and that is a great feeling knowing I made the right choice.
I had contacted my most recent ex because I found a memory card that belonged to him with pictures from his daughter's birth. Instead of allowing it to be quick, cut and dry, he kept dragging it out, and never saying when and where I could drop it off, or mail it to. Kept messaging me, kept asking how I was. Finally I stopped logging into my Myspace.
Then my ex from HS, added me on Facebook, and didn't say a word, except to like statuses and pictures. The one time he ever messages me, he makes sure to ask how getting married is going, etc.
Only about a zillion times! The worst was when I went back home for my besties wedding and guys who never talked to me the 10 years I lived there were all of a sudden crawling all over themselves to come talk to me. Really? Thanks, but no thanks.
@ashleyyyg: YUP. I dunno why. It's like, when you are super happy, you are awesome. They are jealous, and want some of the awesome.
I have found the same thing to be true.
Once I got serious with my guy, all these guys started coming out of the woodwork. The only explanation I can come up with is that I was a happier, smilier, maybe more "glowing" person, more confident since I was in love and those characteristics made me more attractive to others.
They realize they missed out on something awesome. Want what they can't have, etc. And yes, it happened to me a few times actually since I have been with FI (2 years now.) TOO BAD, SO SAD! 
SO TRUE!!!!! We did not change our status on Facebook so I'm not even sure how my ex even know...but I think they have like a 6th sense and know when to come stir the pot.
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Why is it that whenever you are doing really good or even ENGAGED guys from your past find the need to try to come back into your life? Whenever I am single, theres not even a guy I could PAY to date me (okay MAYBE I'm overexaggerating), but once I'm in a relationship or even engaged and happy then guys find the need to contact me.
Has this happened to anyone else? Share stories!