Why is OUR life always on HIS time? Vent Session!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

That’s messed up and I’d be putting my foot all in his ass.

Post # 3
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

kellz1207:  I’d be pissed. Wtf? You wanted to go away too. 

I think it’s hard when you move for someone under certain expectations and then those promises or discussions don’t happen, it leaves you wondering what you are doing. it’s hard to move, too, because he has his support in place but you left all of friends and family. 

I think you need to figure out how to feel empowered again, so it’s not all up to him!

Post # 4
643 posts
Busy bee

kellz1207:  He sounds incredibly inconsiderate and it doesn’t sound like he makes you – or time with you – a priority at all. I’d definitely be talking to him but remember that actions speak louder than words. If he doesn’t become less selfish, are you sure that’s the person you want forever with? 

Post # 5
2551 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

You definitely have the right to be upset about the weekend trip.  I wouldn’t bring everything else up, but start out with telling him how you’ve been trying to get him out of town for weeks, he keeps cancelling due to his unforseen circumstances, then he bails on you to do something you could have done together.  It’s crappy of him to do that to you when you had plans.

Also, Aunt Flo doesn’t help with the waiting part. Vent on here! That’s what we’re here for 🙂

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  SeaOfLove.
Post # 7
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

He’s using you for his own pleasure and dumping you like a used toy when he dosn’t need you anymore.  You need to break it off.  Now.

Post # 8
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Um hell no! That is a major jerk move and I wouldn’t let him get away with it!

Post # 9
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

searock:  what she said. 

stop letting your BF take advantage of you. it honestly doesn’t seem like he’s ready for marriage. he’s very selfish and only thinks about himself, but you’re also really enabling him. 

Post # 10
1715 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah, this isn’t going to change. Save yourself the trouble and end the relationship now. If you marry him, this is basically what your life will be like, except it will be much more stressful, especially if children are added to the mix.

You could try to stay with him and make it work, but you’ll likely just be wasting your time, and that’s just not necessary. 

Post # 12
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

kellz1207: You need to have a real talk with him and/or alternatively go away on the weekends when he cancels on you, clearly his life isn’t great at the moment and you’re letting that control yours. Why should you be having a crap time just to keep him company when he’s willing to drop you the second he sees a better offer?

Post # 14
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

kellz1207:  I had a similar feeling during the “waiting” stage of our relationship. I talked to him about it and told him that it’s my life too and I want to help decide the important things. I didn’t feel like it was fair that I had to wait around for the things I wanted until he decided when the time was right. That being said if he wasn’t ready that would be fine too but I wanted us to actually discuss it and come to a decision/make a timeline together. In my case it was extremely effective, we discussed our feelings, our timeline and he included me in the process, now we are engaged and couldn’t be happier 🙂 

I’d say talk to him about it, he probably doesn’t even realize how insensitive he’s being. Tell him how you feel and what you want (i.e. “It bothers me that you make the decisions in our relationship and I feel like I’m along for the ride. I want to feel like your partner and feel like we can discuss important things and make decisions together as a team”). I bet it will change his point of view and he will start involving you more once he realizes how important it is to you 🙂 good luck! 

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