Post # 1
well here I go again Beehive..I hate it when older adults ask me am I sure I want to get married and if I am worried about divorce. I just want to punch them in the face. Just because your marriage may or may not have worked out, please do not come with that negative energy. I understand some people are giving their input because they think they are helping but I dont think its right for some people that barely know me as soon as they find out that i am engaged, thats the question they think they can ask…sorry bees just needed to vent!
Post # 3
How old are you? (Obligatory question…)
I’m 29 and I’m worried about divorce because it is a valid concern. Age has nothing to do with it. Tell them to mind their own business.
Post # 4
My own mom kept asking me that! She did the same thing with my sister, so I know it’s just that she’s unhappily married & not that there is any genuine reason for her to be concerned about our choices in husbands. It’s annoying!
Slightly similar- some middle aged woman cornered me in the bathroom at my bachelorette & said some silly things about me needing to get out more if I was having my bachelorette *there* (it was just the pre-bach dinner with my female relatives), and then said something to the tune of “Well, congratulations, I guess…I mean, I don’t believe in marriage but good luck!” WTF?
Post # 5
i am sure they are well meaning, but, yeah, that would annoy me too… who would seriously do that? are you exceptionally young?
Post # 6
I’m 26 and I get this from a handful of coworkers (male).
ETA: One of them also told me that he (49) and his fiancee (40) have been engaged for nine years and had no plans to get married anytime soon, but definitely want to have kids in the future (because he asked me why I wanted to get married, and I responded that we’d like to have kids).
Post # 7
@soon2beemrsblount: I can definitely understand why it’s annoying to you. I hate it when people butt into my business. However, I really wish I would have had an older figure in my life who would have asked me those tough questions when I was 18 and engaged to my ex- DH. However, I probably wouldn’t have listened to them anyway.
Do what’s in your heart, take pride in your future marriage and making it work, and realize that most of these people are well-meaning. 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks for all the responses I am 25 and my fiance is 23. Although young we have been dating for 5 years and lived together 3 years.
Post # 9
I get that from a lot of my coworkers (many of whom are in their 50’s+ and divorced). They also tell me that we’re pretty much definitely going to get divorced and that all men are horrible and will break your heart. Just ignore it : )
Post # 10
Well, about 1/3rd to 50% of marriages end in divorce. That is true. But 100% of lives end in death at some point. You wouldn’t tell someone not to go out and live their lives because they will die one day.
Just say “Yes, I know. But I don’t live my life fearing that I might get hurt, that is a risk I am willing to take because I believe in this relationship.”
Post # 11
Same. I went to a party and someone got drunk and asked why we were even bothering to get married when divorce rates were so high and it probably wouldn’t last.
And then most hurtful of all when I went to the toilet a family member asked my FI if he was sure what he was really getting into.
Post # 12
@soon2beemrsblount: I was just asked that the other day by my aunt. She asked if I was sure about the wedding and I said, “Do you mean about the wedding or the marriage?” and she meant the latter. I mean, we’ve been living together for 3 years, we practically are married. And the wedding is in a little over a month so I’m not crazy about hearing those comments especially now.