Post # 1
So this weekend we were driving to get frozen yogurt and I was complaining that my face was breaking out and he jokingly said, ‘it must be because you are so stressed out about getting engaged.’ And I told him that I don’t act that way and he said I have made comments about ‘if my younger sister gets married before me’ or ‘omg they are going to get married before us’. I shamefully admit I have said those things in my worst moments. And he told me that no girl he has dated has done wedding planning and I told him it is pinterest and I am not planning a wedding, but pinning ideas like every other non-married girl I know. But that is the extent of it. I don’t nag him or bring it up really.
I am so hurt. I know he was teasing, but there is truth to all of that.
He is the one that has told everyone that we are getting married next September, but we are still not engaged. Every time I get my hopes up they get crushed. I just think if you love someone and you want to spend your life with them, how hard is it really to put a ring on it!? Why are some guys so slow? What specifically is his problem!? (we’re in our late 20s the only thing I can think of is he is still an apprentice (not yet a journeyman), but gets a raise next week!)
Post # 3
because girls put a lot more value on the idea of marriage than guys do, in general. to guys, the fact that he’s with you long term, he’s already demonstrating his commitment to you on a daily basis … so what’s up with this marriage thing? all it does is make it “official”. that’s what I think they’re thinking.
also, pinning “ideas” on Pinterest is essentially planning. everybody I know denies this but it is what it is. you’re not engaged but you’re getting “ideas” for what you want your wedding to look like? Yeah, that’s planning.
Post # 4
@strawbs: *Incoming message from the bank of the rivers of De-Nile* Nuh-uh…
Post # 5
@Sapphire-Dreamer: Haha! That made me laugh! I know, right!? You love someone and want to spend forever with them, propose already! I swear they want to drive us nuts!
Post # 6
Tell him that’s because no other girlfriends of his were as mature as you, and none of them could have loved him nearly as much as you do! 😉
Also try to keep your looking/pinning/planning on the DL from now on. I have to start hiding my wedding interests as well since apparently they freak my SO out a bit. ARGH, men. *SMH*
Post # 7
Some men just take longer to be ready to settle down.
Post # 8
Why is it so Hard to Propose for Some Guys?
BECAUSE THEY AREN’T READY… MEN AREN’T WOMEN
They take a lot longer to figure things out in life than we do when it comes to wanting to settle down, start a family etc.
Plain & simple, a Man WILL propose when he is sure he has met the right girl, and is ready.
THEN more than likely they want to get married asap… it just is how they operate.
Hope this helps,
Post # 9
Why deny it?! I have a secret Wedding pinterest *evil grin*
Post # 10
@frogprincess: LOLOL there’s nothing wrong with having a wedding Pinterest, I’m just saying that it’s part of the planning process to be gathering ideas 😉
Post # 11
I have to tell you, I was guilty of bringing it up, pseudo planning, right down to asking about it and nagging. When I stopped talking about it and pressuring him about it, he took the lead. Backing off on it really works.
Post # 12
@HappySky7: Thank you that made me feel better! I am going to completely stop talking about anything wedding related and not pinterest my wedding board for awhile. I am just going to enjoy the relationship and stop stressing about if he will ever propose.
Post # 13
If you’re both ready you could always propose to him. Nothing wrong with that. If he’s not ready you don’t want to marry him though. There is no need in having a long engagement in order wait for him to be ready. Have you talked about whether or not you’re both ready…truly ready?
Post # 14
@OctBride-2012: We have never had a ubber deep talk about being ready to be married, but many smaller talks about how we want to get married next September and have kids in our early 30’s. I think it is a timeline issue that I am struggling with. I can’t seem to understand why he hasn’t proposed when we already know we are going to get married next September?
Post # 15
@anthrogirl: Thank you that made me feel better! I am going to completely stop talking about anything wedding related and not pinterest my wedding board for awhile. I am just going to enjoy the relationship and stop stressing about if he will ever propose.
Yes, I think that is a good idea! Give your brain a break for now.
Have you talked about how LONG of an engagement would good for each of you? Perhaps he has a different idea of engagement length?
“We have never had a ubber deep talk about being ready to be married”
For me, I’d need some uber deep talks prior to any proposal! Even as a woman, I wouldn’t expect a proposal without discussing it first.
Post # 16
@sienna76: I agree. My FI and I had a long talk about being married…not just “yeah we know we’ll get married”. We talked about about being married to one another. There was no doubt and we had no timeline. Being in our mid-40s we didn’t have patience for that kind of thing. When we decided to get married we decided to get married. Our engagement will have been a whopping 3 months when we get married later this month.
OP, if you all haven’t had the talk then I can’t help but think that you’re not ready to get married yet either. Maybe ready to be engaged but that’s different. I wish you the best of luck with whatever happens. 🙂