Post # 1
I have to admit, I’m a lil bummed and my feelings are hurt. My wedding was last week and we had nearly 20 people who had RSVPed "yes" to come.. just not show up. I dont understand.. why take them time to mail in a response card.. and then just not show up??? We spent $90 a head for our wedding… and I’m just really really really frustrated at all that money that was, well, wasted!!!!
Is this normal for people to just not show? It put such a kink in the reception because it left 2 tables with just 1 couple sitting at the table.. like sitting alone! I felt so bad that happened and immediately moved them to fuller tables as soon as I got to the reception.
We havent gotten any apologies or even any excuses… except from one guy who was supposed to have been one of my hubbies best friends and he text during the reception and said "sorry cant make it, kids sick". Hmmm… couldnt his wife watch the kid for an hour so he could at least make an appearance..
I know i sound bitter.. I AM bitter. My wedding was absolutely PERFECT except for this.. and we had a grea time.. but I’m just so sad that that many people just wouldnt show =(
Post # 3
I would be too. It’s rude. I think of it as if you were inviting people to your home for a dinner party and they never called to say they weren’t coming. Rude, rude, rude. There may be excuses, and that’s fine, but TELL SOMEONE BEFORE HAND.
And by the way, congrats on the wedding!
Post # 4
People are so rude! I’m sorry this put a nasty little kink in your otherwise beautiful wedding! This is pretty common though, there were a lot of escort cards leftover at my FSIL’s wedding for people who said they’d come and of course didn’t. Too bad you can’t bill them each for their "at head" cost to the wedding . Congrats on your wedding though!!!
Post # 5
First, congrats on your wedding! I would be upset about it too. It is completely rude and inconsiderate of these people. A few people didn’t show to my sister’s wedding and I thought it was really rude (it turns out they had a somewhat good excuse, though) I’m sorry I wish I had some insight or advice!
Post # 6
I would be really upset about this, too. We are having a pretty small wedding and if 20 of the people who have RSVPed yes don’t show it will be SUPER small. 20 people is a lot!
Post # 7
I would definitely be bummed too! BUT just to give you an idea of what can happen…my MIL received one invitation for her, her husband, myself and my fiance and my sil and her husband. We told her that myself and my fiance would not be attending the wedding or reception and she RSVP’d yes for us anyways hoping that we would change our minds(which we didn’t and I had no idea she had rsvp’d yes for us until after the wedding).
I felt horrible when I ran into the couple and they knew that we didn’t show up and my MIL and SIL still bring it up saying it was rude of us not to go when we had already RSVP’d that we would and that we better hope people don’t do the same to us!! I didn’t say anything as I know we would just end up arguing about it but it still makes me angry and this was a year ago.
Post # 8
Thanks! I know I need to just focus on the good.. it really was a perfect wedding.. and nothing else went wrong, I should be super happy!!!! I guess a wedding is one of those life events that truly shows you who your real friends are!!
Post # 9
Sorry you had such rude and inconsiderate responses! My thought is that these people RSVP’ed without looking at their schedules and realized later that they had a conflict. And rather than telling you that they would not be attending, they just left you hanging.
Some people just don’t understand the importance of an RSVP and contacting the couple if their status changes!
Post # 10
@lilcfitness: I know how you feel….we also had a large handful of guests who were "no shows." I felt it was rather rude, and am still unsure how to address them (our wedding was 3 weeks ago).
Looking forward to checking back into this board, in regards to advice on how to address these MIA guests.
Have any past brides actually addressed this with their no shows? Not that I would like to confront them. I’m just curious on how various people have handled this situation, or if they just swept it under the rug. (It’s too important of a day to miss without offering an excuse, in my opinion!)
Post # 11
Wow, I’m sorry, that is rude.
Though, to be fair to the texting guy, if I were a mom and FI left me with the sick kids to go to a party (even a wedding!) I’d be really pissed. Sometimes things do just come up that are beyond your control. It would have been nice of him to call the best man earlier in the day to give you all the heads up, though.
Post # 12
Wow, sorry to hear that! WE didn’t have any no-shows, only one couple ended up not making it but they let us know a couple days in advance. I don’t think there is any good reason to not to show up without a heads up phone call/email BEFORE the wedding short of a major life situation (sickness does not count!)
But congrats on the wedding!! I know you had some issues the week before so I am very happy to hear it went well overall.
Post # 13
Oh wow, I’m sorry to hear about this. I’m glad your wedding was beautiful and it was still a good time, but still, yes, so wrong on their part.
My sister’s wedding last summer was kind of the same, but for the ceremony instead of the reception. Only about 30 people showed up to the ceremony and then those people plus 70 more people showed up at the reception. It also would have been nice that the 20 people who didn’t RSVP would have, the hall was too small almost. Knowing there were supposed to be 100 people at her wedding ceremony and less than half, a big bummer for her.
Post # 14
wow, that is a lot of people to not show up! And a lot of money too! Sorry about that!
I too am interested in how people have addressed those who didn’t show up (like miss P.G. asked) and how you addressed those who showed up but didn’t RSVP or RSVPed "no." Just curious!
Post # 15
I think you are completely justified in being upset over this. It seems like every wedding has a few yeses who never show, but 20 is a lot! Especially when you have to pay for them. I’m sorry this happened to you, but I hope everything else was great. Congratulations on your wedding!
Post # 16
Oh my goodness – how rude to skip the ceremony and only come to the reception!