WHY save the date? Why not just invitations?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The only reason we had save the dates was because we knew a lot of people would travel overseas and we needed to give them plenty of advance warning of the date. We sent the STDs out in Dec 2012 for our wedding in Aug 2013. There was no way we could have had all the info necessary to do real invites (address of venue, time of ceremony etc) that early.

 

Post # 3
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m doing it because we have family and friends coming from out of state, and a lot of our friends are professionals with children, who need to rearrange schedules and get sitters. Some of them also travel for work. I just feel that maximum notice should be given so people have a better chance of being there.

Post # 4
Member
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m in the UK and here we don’t do ‘save the date’, just invitations.  Personally, I’ve never seen the need for both.

Post # 5
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We decided not to do save the dates because 90% of our guest list is local and the wedding isn’t on a holiday weekend.  All the important people and out of town people know what our date is so we really don’t feel the need to spend the extra money on save the dates.

Post # 6
Member
760 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens

I think it’s because invitations usually go out 6-8 weeks before your wedding, but a lot of people want their guests to know about the date ahead of that. We used word-of-mouth for our guests (but only had a 6-month engagement). We had family that was traveling in from around the country, and they liked having time to coordinate with their other plans for the summer.

Post # 7
Hostess
9903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

swonderful:  We did both because we were having a semi-destination wedding.  It was in the country but most of our guests would have to fly to get here.  We wanted to give people lots of notice about the date and the city but we didn’t have final details nailed down until much closer to the wedding.  We sent save the dates about 9-10 months out and the invites 3 months out (which was early but I knew I’d have people to chase for RSVPs and I wanted to give myself lots of time)

Post # 9
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We secured our location in the fall for a spring wedding…engaged in August and married in May. We sent out STD’s around October I think…just to give people a heads up date wise and we did our invites in March I think.

Post # 10
Member
16 posts
Newbee

There’s no reason you NEED to do both (just like there’s no reason you need a bouquet, need to have a cake, need to wear a white dress. I’m a big advocate of do what you want!). A save the date sent out many months in advance is a nice way to let your guests know about the date to keep their calendar clear, but most guests won’t be able to confirm their attendance that early, so you don’t want to ask for RSVPs until closer to the event. If you sent out official invitations now for an event many months, or even a year out, you’d still want to set your RSVP date closer to your event, and then you run the risks that the guests you’ve invited this far our won’t remember to do that. That’s why people often send official invitations later, after already letting guests know so they don’t double book themselves for your day.

We sent out e-mails to friends and told family about our date in person and by phone, so in theory those we care about attending already have the information and have “saved the date”.  We didn’t want to spend money on two sets of invitation-like products, but when we came across the free options for e-save-the-dates on paperless post we decided that we’re going to send out these as well since it’s no cost, and it’ll be a fun and more official way to tell our whole guest list about the wedding. 

Post # 11
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Save-the-dates help people who need to arrange for travel – all it needs to have is when and where (generally – like, the city, not the venue), so they can look into flights if necessary).  It’s not a great idea to send out invitations so early, because people are much more likely to forget about it/lose it – “Oh look, swonderful is getting married in 6 months!  I can wait a while until I need to send this back, I’ll just stick it in this drawer”…and then it’s never seen again.

Post # 12
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

swonderful:  We are sending save the dates so people can make arrangements for their children, work schedules, etc. In regards to your question about choosing a date before getting a venue…I think some people have a very specific date in mind, and if they have a longer engagement the chances of them being able to find a venue they love/can afford with their date open is good (or some people get very lucky!). Other people know which season or month they want to get married in and plan from there. Sometimes people have a venue/photographer/whatever that they LOVE and just choose a date based on their availability. Personally, we knew we wanted to get married in the fall. FI chose November and I chose November 7th since we’re going to take 2 weeks off after the wedding and I wanted some of that vacation to be paid (Thanksgiving). So a combination of season/month/logistics for us 🙂

Post # 13
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Centro de recepciones Los Incas

i didnt do save the dates. i hate wedding planning, i hired a wedding planner because of that actually but no i did not do save the dates, i think the invitation is enough…………

Post # 14
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I’m in the UK and we did save the dates as did a few of our friends! The only reason we did was because loads of our friends got engaged around the time we did so we were all fighting to secure dates! Plus, ours is a summer wedding so we wanted to ensure people didn’t book holidays! We sent them out 2 months after getting engaged and as soon as we set the date! 

Post # 15
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sending my magnets out this week for our June 2015 wedding. It’s up to you, I assume my second cousin who just asked my date isn’t going to remember in 5 months when she books her vacation. I like to have them on the fridge.

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