Post # 1
Yes… i’m talking about all of the rants against waiting bees. If you are not yet engaged and you’ve found “the one” I really do not think the I’m-better-than-you rants are that helpful. If you are crying down waiting bees for waiting, why are you on Weddingbee and you too are waiting?
This is the end of my rant!
I hope this at least deterr future rants against us!
Post # 3
@tiff-tiff-tiff: Some people enjoy nothing more than starting useless threads to cut other people down. It is almost always a new member who doesn’t stick around long because they realize that they aren’t going to get any sympathy around here. My guess is they have nothing better to do with their lives.
Post # 4
Since you ask, here is my take on the venom.
It does seem to me that there is a bit of disconnect between women who don’t see themselves as waiting and those who do. It’s really hard for both sides to see the other it seems.
My guess is that for some ladies, there are some, though not all, of the waiting posts seem sort of unfeminist, or really against what marriage ought to be about (like a “goal” per se). It’s hard for these ladies to imagine a relationship where the partners aren’t seeing eye-to-eye. Moreover, it represents a gender dynamic which they find problematic, one where the girl is pestering for marriage and the man doesn’t want to commit. They also (and I tend to agree) find it awful when women put the fact of marriage itself before the person they want to live with.
But on the other hand, they don’t understand for those who are waiting, it’s really stressful to not know if they are investing in a relationship where the partners might have different life goals. Love IS important, but so are compatible views of the future, and I think that is lost on those bees who take that type of compatibility in their relationship for granted. I see the bees who are anti-waiting often saying “isn’t love enough,” not realizing that…no…you need to have two people equally invested in a relationship, and it’s hard when two people see two different goals. It’s great when two partners want the same thing, but it becomes immensely complicated when they don’t.
I’m really sort of sympathetic to both sides, I suppose. Sorry if this rambling was useless.
Post # 5
@tiff-tiff-tiff: Yeah, those “Stop whining because I’ve been waiting for 10 years but I’m not whining (except I sort of totally am)” posts drive me up the walls!
Post # 6
sometimes people should just keep their opinions to themselves.
Post # 7
Usually the people who have to post online about how amazing their relationship is are really just looking for validation bc it’s shit. They need to feel better than others and cut them down bc they aren’t happy with themselves.
Post # 8
Hey ladies! So I closed the other thread (referenced in the OP here) because it violates Weddingbee’s Comment Policy and because we value every member’s perspective.
In the name of fairness though, I’m going to close this one too. I absolutely agree that rants against waiting bees don’t have a place on Weddingbee; however, threads dedicated to rehashing the rants only perpetuate the drama.