- 2 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
Ok let me start by saying my fiancé is the most amazing, caring, loving, affectionate partner in the world and I could never ever imagine my life without him, and I am so happy and lucky I am going to be his wife.
In saying all that, when we first started seeing each other, he was kind of flirting with this other girl who was his “best friend”. It was all via FB and text, but still. We became exclusive, everyone knew we were an item, we just weren’t official. This chick would still always message him, and usually he would not read the message, but if I left the room and came back, the message wouLd have been read and replied to.
This is the part I can’t handle. One night, he goes drinking with friends. She was included in these “friends”. He walked her home, and didn’t leave til the morning. Then, without showering or changing, he drives from hers to mine as I was expecting him for lunch, and later that night asks me to be his girlfriend.
I later found out. He insists that stuff happened but they didn’t sleep together (we were sleeping together at that point) and that he didn’t like her that way and was just drunk And stupid. I could be ok with that. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know they didn’t just hook up, they had a lengthy conversation about him and her, and what I was to him, etc, and that after the incident there was still flirting and talk about another “catchup” possibility before I found out about it.
once I found out, he did everything to rectify it, cut her off, etc.
The the thing is, it’s coming up to our anniversary, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I never really did. It’s always been there.
Not so much the incident itself, but the fact he initiated all of the flirting, and what happened on the night, and had also told her he liked her. There is also evidence to support him having told her I dodnt mean much to him for her to have let something happen.
it broke me completely. I was a wreck for over a month. I was throwing up every day. I could barely let him touch me. She was larger, meaner, and just a horrid person inside and out. So my self esteem went down the drain if he could choose someone like that over me for even a night.
He he is perfect now, and he has cut her off completely, and I could never live without him. Plus I have him, and were engaged so he is obviously serious about me.
So why can’t I let this go. I don’t throw it in his face or anything, but i still think about it all the time, and get upset about it often, epsecially since every anniversary we will have reminds me of it( since it all happened the night before) until we get married and the anniversary changes.
it will be a year since the incident in a week and a half. And i can’t think about anything else besides her and what happened. I still have all the screenshots of messages he sent me once I found out. And I still look at them. I know it’s torture but I can’t delete them.
I don’t want to enter my marriage like this, what can I do?