(Closed) "why would a man watn to be so controlling"

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would say that he sounds like a Turd. I am pretty honest with my friends…..

Post # 5
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

@HelleCat

I just read it and I like it, Very good warning sings.

 

It is really hard to keep out of a relationship, especially when you care about her and she is confiding in you. Sometimes what I will say is “If I was saying this exact same thing to you, what advice would you give me?”

 

 

Post # 6
Member
4660 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah that sounds pretty bad, but it’s so hard to get people in crappy situations to wake up to it… most of the time they just get pissed off and ignore you until it becomes too much and they finally leave, and that’s a BEST case. I’ve had that happen with a close friend before and it pretty much ended the friendship. :-/ I don’t regret it, because I would never let someone I care about be in such a situation without saying anything, I just wish it had gone better.

Post # 7
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I guess the problem with that kind of behavior is that some women see controlling as a sign they are loved–he wouldn’t tell me not to go out with my friends if he didn’t care about me.  That’s especially true with women who don’t have a lot of relationship experience and so don’t know what a healthy relationship looks and feels like.

That article the PP linked to is very good.  She may take offence and swear up and down he’s not an “abuser”, but you’ve planted the seed in her head. Let her know that you are concerned and that his behavior doesn’t seen normal or healthy.

Ultimately, she is going to have to decide for herself when she’s had enough. The best you can do is offer encouragement and support.

 

Post # 9
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was in an abusive relationship in the past and controlling and lying were the beginning. I am not saying that your friends relationship will go this way, but you’re right, the controlling behavior and the lying are not good. But, because I spent some time in an abusive relationship, I can tell you that most people won’t listen to other people telling them to get out. I didn’t. All you can do is be there for your friend and offer her support if she does decide to get out. 

Post # 10
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

@newname_99:  red flag, red FLAG, RED FLAG! Please ask her to get out of that relationship before she gets hurt physically/emotionally. I know you can only say so much to a friend, but if you want what’s best for her, just grab her and bodily snatch her away from that man. He will consume her and spit her out with no remorse. I know it, I’ve been there and I still bear the scars. 

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