- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
FI and I were talking the other night about one of his friends, groomsman to be exact. He grew up with this guy and was a groomsman in his wedding years ago. FI and friend are 28. I have known him for 5 years since FI and I started dating. FI brings it to my attention that this groomsman is separated from his wife. HUH?!?! I was shocked to hear the news but not completely blown out of the water by it. You see, he married young…I think 22. Basically as soon as his wife graduated from college. They were together for a few years before that I guess as well. I dont know their dating history. The main reason I was shocked was not because I thought they were great together, but because she just had a baby. Yeah. Baby is like 2 weeks old now. They also have a 3 yr old daughter.
Here is some background from an outsider looking in on their relationship.
Wife has always been the dominant one in the relationship. She was always the one making the decisions and thats it. She decided they were going to have baby #1, and #2. She didnt seem to care what Husband wanted. FI knows husband was not ready, they talked about it but he said his wife really wanted one right then so he just did it. ( DONT DO THAT!!) Husband loves his little girl to pieces so it has nothing to do with her. Everytime we would hang out with them she was always very demanding and would quickly show her ass as soon as something didnt go her way. (Probably why he would always just say ok)
I do think a lot her acting like that is his doing. A lot of couples are very fake with their feelings and thoughts at the beginning of a relationship because they want to make the other happy cause they really like them or they think that is as good as they can get. I think that could have been their downfall. He probably always gave her what she wanted and put himself last. She had since become accustomed to it and would flip if she didnt get her way.
Well FI had a bachelor party in May and husband went. FI said he hadnt seen him like that in a long long time. FI said husband was happy, joking, and just seemed free. FI started to have his suspicions. Some of you know FIs bachelor party was crashed by a now ex-groomsmans GF. She brought along some friends as well. This one girl was trying to flirt with Husband all night. FI later told me that he was looking for him later on at the house they were staying in and they were in bed together. Clothes on just laying there. FI and another groomsman pulled him outta there before he did do something he would later regret.
Come to find out a few days ago when FI told me the news that Husband has been talking to that girl. I dont know if they actually have done anything or whatever.
I think Husband just got tired of feeling insignificant and worthless and childlike and wanted to feel like a man again. I think wife bossing him around so much in the last 6 years of marriage opened his eyes to the fact that he was not himself anymore.
Now I do think what he did is wrong. I am not giving him props for it. But I am glad he is realizing that he is no longer himself.
Come at me if you want to, but I am one of those people that believe you shouldnt get married young, or quickly. We all change so much from 18-25 and I think it is so dumb to get married before you know who you are individually. I also am one of those people that believe any dating before 18 (during high school) doesnt count. I hate when people say they have been dating for 10 years and are now 22 and getting married. Seriously…really…
I guess I just recognize the importance of marriage and what it really means. I take all of that to heart and I know when I was 18 I didnt. Im not saying that a marriage like that wont work out. Some do, but many dont. If you dont take the time to really get to know you, you wont really know what you are looking for and you will eventually find out when it is too late and youre already married. A couple that lives across the street from us has been together since they were 18 and 19 and married a year later and are still together with 3 awesome kids. So its not that I dont believe it wont work. I know it can. Its just a lot harder since you are growing up together and you have to find yourself while being with someone else.
Ok, that is all for now. 🙂