Why would you do that?!?! Long…yeah sorry!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I agree, it can be harder when you’re young. My parents married young and had a tough transition to married life. However, almost 35 years later, they are happily married 

Post # 5
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@jesssamesssa:  how sweet! My grandparents have been married 63 years, but they married in their 30’s. my other grandparents married at 18 and 21 and have been married 55 years this month.

Post # 6
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jesssamesssa:  I completely agree with you – getting married too young is disasterous, especially when couples start having kids when they are not ready.  I feel bad for the kids.

I have a friend who got KU in college when she was 20 years old.  Luckily her boyfriend stuck around, proposed to her, and they are now married.  Sounds great right?  She treats her boyfriend like crap – always bossing him around and yelling at him.  She doesnt even seem to really love him.  They have an incredibly disfunctional relationship yet still decided to get married.  She even says that it would be easier for her and her husband to get a divorce rather than just break up.  She got married for financial benefits.  It is horrible, and we are all waiting to see how long it is before they get divorced.

Post # 8
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

just because a couple gets married young? doesn’t mean it won’t work. you just have to work at it. my parents, and my grandparents, and my great grandparents all got married young- mom and dad were 21 and 20, mom’s parents were 22, great grandparents were in their early 20’s. my parents will celebrate 30 years next year, my mom’s parents were together for 50 before my grama passed away and my dad’s parents were together for over 25 years before my grandmother passed away, and my mom’s grandparents were together for 65 years before they both passed away.

if the couple isn’t willing to put in the effort a marriage requires, then they shouldn’t expect to last.

simple as that.

Post # 10
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with you about marrying young. My FI and I started dating at 15 (and yes, I count those 3 years Wink) but neither of us ever wanted to get married in our early 20s. We’ll both be 27 when we marry this October. I guess my logic is… if you truly think that you found the person you are meant to be with, what’s the rush? They’ll still be there in a couple of years.

It does work out sometimes though. My FILs got married at 18 and 19 and just celebrated their 26th anniversary.

Post # 11
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@jesssamesssa:  My friend (or former friend) cheated on her husband not once but twice. She has two kids. They dated for 3 years, and right after she graduated high school at 18 they got married. She is 25, cheating on him, and they are headed for divorce but neither has made the first move.

I asked her why, she said she is doing things she should have experienced when she was 18 and should have been going to college rather than planning a wedding. She said she should have dated guys, drank, and partied and got it all out of the rsystem and then married, but she admits she is doing it backward. She said she became a wife and mom too quick and missed out on meeting new people.

I had a lot of faith in their marriage. I really did, and I know a lot of marriages can work, but I had this feeling that, knowing how she was, things weren’t going to end well.

Post # 12
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@jesssamesssa:  I think there is a difference in generation (i.e. grandparents marrying young vs young couples now).  However, if you look at how we (the younger generations) are brought up (movies, tv, etc) the ideas of love that are portrayed are incredibly unrealistic (i.e. all the Disney princess movies).  I know my grandparents didn’t have the luxury of watching TV/movies all the time, so their experiences with love came from real world examples, not some phoney baloney movie script.  I think that young married couples can do quite well as long as they are realistic and know themselves.

Post # 13
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@jesssamesssa:  I find it funny when people rush to get married when they’ve only been together for a short few months. Okay well not funny, but I seriously can’t tell them that I am happy for them or give them any congrats. Relationships can turn, no matter how long two people have been together, but I find that the faster two people move in a relationship, the faster it goes downhill. And I can’t pretend and be this person who says that I am happy for them when really I fear for their relationship. I think I really shouldn’t be afraid for them and just be happy that they are happy, but I am a massive negative Nancy and tend to think about the what ifs. I know a couple that moved in together, got pregnant after a couple months and married at the courthouse. They’ve been together for a year, but still haven’t even been living together a year. I suppose its really none of my business. But I can’t help fearing heartache for that friend or the other friend that moved quickly.

Post # 14
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@housebee:  I’ve read something on fb like that. The grandparents had been together for so long and someone asked how they have stayed together for that long. The elderly couple replied with something about in their day and age they were taught to fix things, not throw them away.

Post # 15
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t agree that it is dumb to get married just because you come within a certain age bracket. Many people ‘know who they are’ at a much younger age than others.

People all mature at different rates and some people are ready for marriage at 20 while other’s aren’t when they are 30. Just because someone is younger doesnt mean their marriage is set up for failure and it saddens me that you feel that way.

My friend got married when she was 22 to her bf of 8 years and they had their first baby at 23 (a year ago). They are a perfect family and were 100% ready for it. I, on the other hand, would not have been ready for marriage at the age of 22. I do not judge her for their choice because we are different people and just because it wouldn’t have been right for me doesn’t mean it wasn’t right for them.

I am currently 24 and will be married when I just turn 25. 

Post # 16
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It sounds more like she’s the problem, not them getting married young. All of our family and friends got married before 22, kids at 23 and divorce is unheard of in my area. As long as the couple knows divorce isn’t an option I don’t think it matters what age. Everyone in our church gets married right around 21 and none are divorced. I believe that in marriage two people become one, so I’d rather us grow together as a couple. We’re not missing out on anything, just doing all the things we want to do in life together and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Just my view!

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