- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
Waiting sucks. It does. I did it for years.
Just like you (if you’re in that phase) I was overly sensitive, anxious, eager, bitter, emotional all at once thinking, “WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MEEEE!?!??” I was nearing 30 and pretty much the only one in my group of friends who wasn’t engaged or married. I almost lost it at my 10 year reunion! Everyone was either newly wed or showing off their engagement rings. And then constant having to defer the, “When are you getting married?” questions! Ugh!
The final straw for me had to come around 2012 when I found out both of my best friends – one abroad in Colombia, one local – got engaged within a couple days of each other. I had been with my then boyfriend longer than BOTH of them, how and why was this happening!?!??!???
My one friend’s wedding came and went. I was her MOH and was beyond excited to share in that with her. I harbored no ill feelings, no jealousy, I was genuinely in it for her and her alone. It was a great wedding. The marriage though? Not so much. Things weren’t great before the wedding and they didn’t get any better after. Like myself, she felt pressured to “go thru” with it because of her age, already being in too deep, etc. etc. Unfortunately, they broke up within a year. She is all the better for it and I’m so proud of her for sticking to her guns and doing what’s right though not what was easiest.
Then there is my friend in Colombia. We have had vague communication over the past couple years, but she and her fiance broke up. I could never understand their relationship from the get go, but didn’t feel it was my place to question. You never know what goes on behind closed doors.
It took 2 more years after they were engaged for my FI to propose. About 4 years in total. I had hit the dreaded 30 and somehow was still alive without a ring on my finger. We’ve since then talked from time to time about what “took him so long”. See, unlike myself who was looking forward to planning a wedding, he was taking his time planning our lives. Not to knock myself, I was too just not to his extent. He had been saving quite a considerable amount of money for us to buy a house. To live comfortably for me to go to maternity leave. To amass some more money into his 401K. So on and so forth. He was also preparing himself emotionally to ask me to become an extension of himself for the rest of our lifetime. THAT TAKES TIME. This was not the case for my friends.
My point being the longer the wait, the sweeter the reward sometimes. And let me tell you, once that ring is on your finger, time suddenly begins to FLYYYY and the years of waiting angst cease to exist.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel! If you’ve found something you can’t live without, then DON’T!