posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

Ryansgirl:  It is really tough to talk about this stuff, especially to people in real life. I feel so embarrassed that i let these things happen

I shut everyone out so they wouldn’t know what was going on, but i didnt want to be alone #whyIstayed


Post # 3
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

Ryansgirl:  I think majority of people have experience abuse at some point in their life. Sadly for me I hadn’t first hand until my ex. However, dealing with my father growing up it wasn’t exactly foreign to me.

The oldest excuse in the book- I thought I could change him # Whyistayed

It was “my normal” #whyistayed

Post # 4
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I stayed because I didn’t think highly of myself. I was also being manipulated by the Svengali type.

I needed to get away from my parents. #whyistayed

Post # 5
5968 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017


Ryansgirl:  because he hadn’t done it 6 years so I believed he was completely changed. #WhyIStayed

(it didn’t ever happen again actually, so I believe I was a rare case. But we didn’t last so I’ll never know if that would have continued on forever) 


when I was younger, before A LOT of counseling, I had my moments where I did stupid things like ray rice did. Hitting my SO (and I mean closed fist punches in the face), punching walls, breaking things. Now I know how to deal with myself and those moments where my emotions take over. I haven’t had a reaction like that in years (10 years to be exact) and it’s a constant battle to make sure I keep myself in check. So while I understand what my ex did was unacceptable regardless of what I did or didn’t do, I also know what it feels like to be the bad guy. Such a tough subject…

Post # 6
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Because of my very low self esteem, I believed him when he said to me that no one would ever want to be with someone as digusting and “unpure” as myself. #WhyIStayed

I grew up with an abusive father so I actually thought it was the “norm”. #WhyIStayed

Post # 7
2580 posts
Sugar bee


Ryansgirl:   My ex fiance became very abusive about 3 years into our relationship.


First time it happened we were staying with his parents and he threwsomething at me , then proceeded to tell me ” I could kill you right now”   That should have been the last time but it was so out of character I let it go.

Pretty much every couple months after that he would loose it and something would happen. Sometimes I was just verbal and most times included some physical violence.

I convinced myself that when we got engaged it would stop. In my head he would never treat his wife that way. Well about 3 weeks after we got engaged he helda knifeto my throat and told me he wanted to kill me. I knew that day I either made a plan to get out or I would end up killed. I left finally after I was done my schooling for the year ( I could not afford to leave and he was extremely controlling ) I endured 3 months of almost daily beatings because at this point he knew I was going to be leaving him.

I look back now and wonder how I allowed myself to live with that.


If anyone is in a simular situation leave and don’t look back. Nobody has a right to abuse you.

Post # 9
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Because I was pregnant and thought that somehow, magically, he would change for our baby and we could have a perfect family.

Because I thought that if I just tried hard enough to be a perfect person and stop upsetting him, he would change.

Because I was stubborn and ashamed to admit that friends/family were right about him.

Because I thought I couldn’t do any better.


Post # 10
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Ryansgirl:  I was going to post something similar to this yesterday but the bee is so victim blaming in domestic violence situations that I didn’t think it would end well.

My Twitter posts were:


He was the 2nd boyfriend in my life who had abused me, I must have deserved it. #WhyIStayed

Because the first time I tried to leave him my family convinced me I had made a HUGE mistake. #WhyIStayed

Post # 11
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Because I thought it was our problem and we could work through it together. I thought I was abandoning him if I left. He promised to change multiple times. Begged me. #WhyIStayed

I was also scared I could not afford to be on my own. #WhyIStayed

I eventually realized his drug and sex addiction was his problem and he’d never overcome it. He didn’t support my dreams and goals. He didn’t love me. He was abusive, emotionally and financially. I finally woke up and realized I deserved better.  

Post # 13
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Ryansgirl:  All I ever see in the comments are comments that the OP has no self-confidence and why don’t they just leave, like it’s SO simple!

I’m glad you haven’t encountered that tho!

Post # 15
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

Ryansgirl:  I couldn’t agree more!

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