- 5 years ago
ok so here’s the story..
im 31 and my boyfirend is almost 28, we met in august 2009 when he came to spain on holiday and met me in the shop i was working in. we stayed in touch online and the following year in october he came to stay for 2 amazing weeks…i knew i loved him from then on..after another 2 weeks together in the december and me then visiting him in the uk the following may..i finally moved to live with him on my 30th birthday in september 2011. All the time we kept in contact via the internet and on his holidays in spain with me, we openly talked about our future, he told m once i had moved in with him, we d get xmas out the way and then could start planning our future…he said he would hope to propose in feb..he even joked about getting married in May 2014…
while i lived alone in spain waiting to see him again..i checkout out dresses and venues and we talked about planning our day…who we would invited and bridesmaids, i even contacted a couple of places and had people offering for us to cisit the venues…i told them we needed to wait til i had moved in..
we even talked about kids…the fact that i didnt want to have kids after i turned 34 and i knew this would pressure him as he is younger but he agreed…at the time i wasnt fussed about children..
i moved over to live with him, and watched xmas come and go and held my breath literally thru the whole of feb but nothing. we went on holiday in the uk on our own andi it was great, he hited of a proposal may happen but again i came home with nothing 🙁
another xmas has gone by and i have hinted about him making false promises and that i want to be married to him….but i think he either thinks im joking, or that i only want marriage coz my mother keeps nagging me.
2 of my colleagues are getting married this summer and im so jealous..im 32 in september and i get so depsressed that i have kept my side of the bargain by leaving everything in spain to have a life with him and now nothing..
he says he isnt ready for kids when i jokinly mention it…I however would like one…sooner than later now.. :/
plus now my friends know we plan to go to a fabulous holiday in the caribean in may they think he will propse then to me! i would love to get excited and think the same but i wont be able to cope if i come back with bare hands…i can imagine their faces pitying me.. 🙁
if i mention it to him…what if he is secretly planning to propose??? but if i dont..maybe he just wont think its the ideal opportunity as its our first big holiday together…
i dont know what to do…my parents pressure me to get married and tell me im getting old…and my mates all think he ll pop the question…i really hope so..but i dont want to hope in case i ruin my holiuday waiting and then not getting anything…and by that i dont mean a shiny ring..i just mean the proposal…the commitment from him…
i know i probably sound spoilt and selfish but i really feel sad these days and kind of duped into living with him….i darent mention marrieage to him anymore..he just thinks its coz my mum pressures me but it really isnt…what should i do??