Post # 1
Hello Bees! Its been awhile since I have been active on the site – I’ve been so stinking busy working/planning! We’ve got just 23 days to go!
Here’s my problem – my Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs are trying to guilt me into having a bachlorette party. I dont want one… I mean, hello, we shouldve done this months ago. They (my two BMs and MOH) are trying to plan something for the weekend before the wedding. Crazy much?
I just cant even imagine having my sanity at that point. A lot of our wedding is DIY and I definitely dont want to leave my family and everyone else working while I go shenaniganning around.
Will I regret NOT having a bachlorette party? What can I tell me BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor to convince them that I do not need to go/dont want to go? Why dont they understand how stressed and how much work I still have to do (theyve all been married!)
Post # 3
We are having ours the weekend before.. both going to vegas staying at diff hotels 🙂 if you dont want something crazy you could just aks them to do a something small and relaxing… maybe a day at the spa, or a slumber party.. 🙂
Post # 4
Mine was the weekend before the wedding and it was awesome. We went to a nice restaurant, got a suite at a hotel, drank ourselves silly and played bacheloretty party games. It was great. Just do it, you’ll regret not having that silly girl time.
Post # 5
I had mine like six months before the wedding because it was the only time my bridesmaids were going to be in town until the week of the wedding. It was a great time had by all and was a good bonding experience for the bridesmaids who didn’t all know each other before the wedding.
Post # 6
I had mine like six months before the wedding because it was the only time all my bridesmaids were going to be in town until the week of the wedding. It was a great time had by all and was a good bonding experience for the bridesmaids who didn’t all know each other.
Post # 7
I think it could be a nice break from the wedding-planning crazies IF you do something low-key. Dinner and drinks at a fun restaurant, for example, or a spa outing and brunch, or something else that doesn’t require you to commit and entire 24-hour period and won’t leave you feeling MORE stressed (or too hungover to function, hah). I don’t know, I’m *old* (will be 29 at the wedding) and a big crazy night out with accessories and whatever just doesn’t appeal.
I’ve mentioned this before on another thread, but I threw a B-party when I was a Maid/Matron of Honor that just involved fancy drinks and desserts and a beauty product exchange (everyone brought their favorite product in the $12-$20 range and we drew numbers, bride could ‘steal’ at any time). The plan was to head out to a lounge afterwards, but everyone was having so much fun with the girl talk and mini-makeovers that we never ended up leaving the party suite 🙂 It was a great way for all the girls in/attending the wedding to get to know each other a few weeks prior to the big day, and I think the bride was actually able to relax for the evening.
Post # 8
Haha… these arent the answers that I wanted to hear!!! You all have made me feel better about “getting away”. What they are planning is low-key and only a few hours away from home. I guess that it could be a nice break from the “wedding stress”…
I guess that I am just terrified that we wont have everything completed and it will be because I took a day off to go party.
Post # 9
I’m having mine the Wed and Th before my Saturday wedding because it just worked out better for out of town guests to come in early for the wedding. Granted, we are staying at a beachhouse so having girls’ only days on the beach, a lingerie shower and bachelorette night. Even though I probably won’t be indulging on food and alcohol that close to the wedding, I like the pressure to get everything done so that I can truly enjoy myself and relax with friends just before the wedding. Plus, I love that it gives me quality time with some of my out of town girlfriends, so I won’t feel so stressed trying to spend time with everyone at the wedding. I also agree with the poster about it being a good pre-wedding bonding experience for girls who don’t know each other before the wedding….I’ve got 3 separate groups of friends that will all get to meet and then have a lot more fun I’m sure on Fri and Sat nights after the girl time. So, that is my long way of saying….go for it!!!!
On the other hand, I have a group of local friends who wanted to throw me a party in the next few weeks, and I convinced them that because I’m so strict with eating and drinking right now, we should wait and have a Post-Wedding Pigout once I get back from the honeymoon and am ready for some girl time! So, you could always plan a big girls’ night after the wedding if you really think a bachelorette party will add to your stress right now!
Post # 11
Before I read your post I was like, “No you won’t regret it.”
HOWEVER…I think if they want to throw you one the weekend before the wedding that would probably the best thing for you. It will help clear your mind an dget you to have fun and loosen up. I say do it 🙂
Post # 12
I didn’t have one and I don’t regret it at all. Just tell them it’s stressing you out even more and you appreciate their efforts but will have to pass. Maybe you can just do a girls night out after the wedding?
Post # 13
@MLDoddie: I had mine the Thursday before the wedding and it was great. I had been stressing the whole week and it was nice to have a night where I could get drunk and not worry about anything. We didn’t do anything super fancy, just went out to a nice dinner and then bar hopped for a couple of hours. Then the next day we got manis and pedis. Sometimes you really need a break in order to keep your sanity.
I would say you should do something, just make it low-key.
Post # 14
I honestly think everyone should have somewhat of a Bachelroette party! Even if it’s not the typical weekend away of craziness, drinking, and sex organ-filled props. Even if it’s a night out on the town where you live, a wine & painting event, a sleepover with your BMs… it’s such a happy, stress-free event and I think it’s great! My girls and I are headed to Atlantic City the frist weekend of August and I get married the third weekend of August. I’m not even a huge partier and I’m defnietly not a gambler, but I know this time with my best girls will be amazing and unforgettable. I think it’s one of the stress-free parts of the wedding process! 🙂
Let everyone take care of the DIY things for a night/weekend– this is prob why you feel like you’ve lost your sanity. A bachelorete party might be just what the doctor ordered!
Post # 15
@MLDoddie: I’m not having one, and my Fiance isn’t having a bachelor party either. I have absolutely zero regrets about that. It is not my *last chance* to hang out with my friends. I suspect that even though I’m married, I will still be able to do the things that I’d be interested in doing at a bachelorette (the spa, dinner and drinks, etc…just no clubs or bars).
It sounds like you’ve got your hands full. There’s no need to squeeze in something you don’t even want.
Post # 16
I didn’t have a bachelorette, and I have no regrets. I really wasn’t interested in it. My fiance had his bachelor party a week before our wedding, so that night I went out for a relaxing dinner and drinks with the significant others of the guys who were at the bachelor party (they are also friends of mine). It was the perfect compromise — a fun (non-crazy) few hours with the girls that kept me from wondering too much what the guys were up to! Then I went home and watched a few episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and called it a night 🙂
I’d suggest you decide what you want, and then communicate it to your bridesmaids. Make sure you do whatever YOU want. They can call the shots when it’s their wedding!