Post # 1
My in-laws celebrate Christmas at their house on the 24th with a lot of food followed by the ceremonial opening of gifts. Last year (my first Christmas with them) I was a little surprised with how long the gift-opening ritual took, because they take turns opening them, one gift and person at a time! There’s tons of gifts so it took a long while.
This year, we’ll be celebrating our first Christmas as a married couple in our first house. We’re still going to his parent’s house on the 24th and join in on the festivities but I’d really like to open our gifts for each other together – that way we’ll have some gifts under our own Christmas tree. I was brought up opening gifts on Christmas morning and would like to incorporate that into our new Christmas tradition together.
My question is: Would it be rude to keep our gifts for each other at home and not being them to his parents’ house so we can open them on Christmas day instead of bringing them there and opening them in front of the whole family on Christmas eve?
To be honest, I think it’s a little odd taking turns opening them that way — there are no children in the family, just adults. We’re still going to share our gifts and open them together, just not OUR gifts for each other. Is it rude, odd, or just plain weird that I want to do that? DH thinks it’s fine but I don’t know how his family will react.
Post # 3
Not weird or rude at all. Do whatever you’re most comfortable with. If someone is weirded out or offended by it, that’s their issue as it’s really none of their business.
Post # 4
Not rude at all!! Honestly, I think it is more weird to lug your gifts for each other TO their house to open.
Post # 5
My FI’s family does this also, so we just take a couple of our gifts to each other over to open with his family and the rest we open in our own home together.
Post # 6
We used to do this on Christmas Eve too. Even if there are kids, it’s silly … it took seriously HOURS for us to open presents. There were five of us kids. .. then i have nieces and nephews who are a few years younger then me. but now that everyone is older, and my dad has stopped videotaping EVERY moment of our lives, it moves faster.
We all stay home christmas morning with our SO’s and open our little family family presnts. Then we get together for like 3pmish and open presents we got for each other. I do not think it’s weird…
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s weird for you to open presents alone, together, at all. My fi and I certainly do, every year.
That said, my family does the “one at a time” rule too, and the reason for it was that as kids, they didn’t want us to think Christmas was just a gift grab. By slowing down and watching one at a time, it made us more aware of the experience of giving to others. As an adult, I still enjoy this rule because that way I get to see the response of each person as they open it/in my opinion, it makes each gift a little more special.
Post # 8
Deff not weird… Some years FI and I open our gifts for each other with our family, sometimes we wait until we are alone.
Oh, we also open our gifts one at a time in my house… For the same reason @huckleberry783: does. I kinda think it’s nice, but understand how it might seem odd if you’ve done it differently all your life. 🙂
Post # 9
why not take one or two gifts to the in-laws house to open, but open the rest of them at your own house? that way you still participate but don’t have to open all your gifts at the in-laws.
Post # 10
This is what we typically do. We have “OUR” christmas morning and we exchange gifts. And then we go have family christmas gift exchange with his family. But because my parents and aunt will be at my house this year, I’m not sure it will be a private gift exchange, unless we do it Christmas Eve or unless i specifically take them into the bedroom to do it privately, which just seems dumb.
Post # 11
Nope ! We just did that this weekend !
Post # 12
I think it’s important to set a precedent of having some kind of Christmas in your own home together now. FI and I usually do “Christmas morning” in our apartment the day before Christmas Eve b/c we have 3 family gatherings to go to between Christmas Eve (his mom), Christmas Day (my family), and the day after Christmas (his dad).
To me, it’s important to set these traditions early so you have them in place by the time you have children. I know that we will probably have “Christmas morning” with our children a few days before Christmas so we can just enjoy our day without dragging them out and about, so we are just setting our traditions in place now.
And remember, you are married! It’s time to think about what is best for YOUR family (You, FI, and your future children) not his parents.
Post # 13
I think you should compromise. It sounds like you want to start your own holiday traditions, which you should, but I think you should also participate in his family’s traditioons. Pick one present each to open with the familiy and open the rest on your own.
Post # 14
@tinylittlebird: You are going to celebrate christmas with your (future) kids early? What are you going to tell them about Santa?
(Not trying to be mean, just curious )
As a kid we always had christmas morning at our house and then we would drive to my grandma’s house for christmas dinner (an hour away without traffic). As a kid I never minded it and really enjoyed going to visit the family on the holiday, I also got a few more gifts there as well. 🙂
Post # 15
I don’t think there is anything wrong with opening your presents for eachother at your house.
But I think you should get eachother a little something to open at his family’s gathering. Then you can still have presents under your tree for christmas morning.
My family also always did the one at a time, it made it a little more special to me and then I got to see what my sisters got as well. But since my sisters are close in age they sometimes got the same thing so then they would open them together.
Post # 16
i don’t think its rude. you’ll still have gifts to open at your inlaws from your inlaws or siblings and the same goes for them.
We are celebrating our first christmas together also and plan on opening our gifts for each other at our house and bringing everyone else’s gifts to my inlaws.