Post # 1
Feeling a little down today. Dh and I have been keeping the secret that we are pregnant for 10 weeks now. It’s killing me, but since we don’t live near our families…it’s been pretty easy hiding it. Today I broke down and finally told one of my coworkers because she witnessed me being sick and I had no other excuse. I’m not telling anyone else for at least a few more weeks, but I also was glad that I had someone to look out for me at work for the time being (I’ve been so sick). I expected her reaction to be excited (she loves kids) but it was kind of lackluster-like she was scared for me. She was like “ok, I won’t tell anyone, don’t tell anyone else, you didn’t want this, did you?” That REALLY upset me. I’m not super close with this coworker, but I consider her a mentor. That doesn’t mean I would detail my sex life to her at work or anything-I like to consider myself very professional. I really wanted to be like “actually, it took us over 8 months of trying!” However, now I’m worrying when we finally do tell people (our families and friends mostly) they wont be as happy for us as I hope they would. DH is 30 and I’m 27 and we both come from big families and are over the moon. I’m just really hormonal today and want to cry. Sorry for the vent.
Post # 3
Yes they will be. Your coworker is dumb, do not listen to her.
Post # 4
@Max04092010: Maybe she thought you were hiding it because you didn’t plan it? I dunno… I would maybe just explain to her that you’re still so early and you want to wait until after the first trimester to tell your parents, and that you really do want your parents to be the first to know. Thank her for her discretion and keeping hush about it, and probably just let it go. I doubt she meant any harm, and I don’t think anyone will be UNhappy for you. Just relax, and take care of yourself- plenty of rest & hydration!!!
Post # 5
I would think most reactions won’t be similar to that. I became pregnant at 22 and it was absolutely unplanned but never had anyone say something like that to me!
Post # 6
I think this is the case. I generally don’t spread the word about pregnancies unless specifically asked to. When I was in college, a lot of my friends got pregnant unexpectedly (It was bad for them, too) so I learned right quick to shut my yap. Sometimes, if I know someone well enough, I assume it was an unexpected/unwanted pregnancy, but I don’t voice my opinion.
I wouldn’t let your co-worker get to you. Perhaps she asked in poorly worded ways, but I don’t believe she genuinely meant you any insult or harm.
Post # 7
My guess is that it is an honest mistake and she misread you / misread why you wanted her to keep it a secret (i.e. you didn’t want anyone to know because you aren’t happy about being pregnant and might not continue the pregnancy.) Beyond the online world of pregnancy forums, many people have never heard of people not telling others until after the first trimester and just assume that all eagerly wanted pregnancies are announced immediately by shouting it from the rooftops.
I’m sure everyone will be super excited when you finally get your chance to do just that. She will probably be excited for you then, too.
Post # 8
I agree with pp that she probably though that since you were so secretive about it that YOU wern’t excited/ ready for it.
Of course everyone will be super excited for you!! Congrats!!
Post # 9
@Max04092010: There’s nothing to worry about! I’m positive your family will be over joyed! Besides if your happy that’s all that should matter especially if you’ve been trying for so long! It’s a huge blessing:) congratulations!
Post # 10
I think this was a honest mistake on her part. She probably thought you were keeping it a secret for a different reason other. I am pretty sure everyone is going to be over the moon excited for you when you tell them. Just becuase one person interrprets it one way doesn’t mean everyone else will take it that way.
The Bee is excited for you, if that makes you feel any better 🙂
Post # 11
I agree with PPs. I think your family is going to be thrilled!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2012 - W Hotel Silicon Valley
@Max04092010: Ugh, don’t listen to her! Of course they will be happy for you! It may help to tell a close friend or family member to get some positive reinforcement! People love babies! Good luck! 🙂
Post # 13
Thank you all for your kind words. It made me feel better already. I know she probably didn’t mean anything negative about it, but just having that as the first ‘real’ response to telling someone hurt. It made me feel like I should be ashamed or something. Thank you for helping me realize that people will be happy for us. I can’t wait to spill the beans! 🙂
Post # 14
Oh I’m so sorry dear! She had no right to say that…people just don’t think sometimes and there always seems to be that one or a few people who have no manners and can’t politely say congratulations at the news. I’m sure most people you tell will be ecstatic for you, especially your families.
My “one person” was my grandma, and I was not expecting her reaction at all, but everyone else, even the people I was nervous to tell, were very excited for us. Don’t let one person’s un-thoughtful words bring you down.
Post # 15
I’m sure people will be happy for you! It sounds like your coworker is either really insensitive or just misunderstood your desire to keep the pregnancy quiet for now.
Post # 16
Welcome to the club of women who have had people say dumb shit to them while they are pregnant. Guess who is a member? EVERYONE who has ever been pregnant 🙂 It won’t be the last stupid thing someone says to you before the baby is born, so blow it off. Don’t listen to her. Sounds like she was projecting her own feelings about pregnancy on you, or she may not know that people don’t tell anyone until they’re in the ‘safe’ zone and thought that’s why you haven’t told anyone yet.
And congratulations! Your family and friends will be over the moon excited for you, I promise!