Post # 1
Weird question really.
My fiances brother has been dating a girl for 8 months. The have a strange relationship but thats besides The point! They did date for 1 year previously and broke up for a year before getting back together 8 months ago.
Our baby is due in April and apparently she had her office in stitches yesterday because she said that when the baby is born she will be its auntie and when me and my fiance get maried i will be her sister in law.
She was told by her colleagues that it doesnt work like that as her and her BF arent married and only been together 8 months which she was upset by.
So the question is, how long do you think your have to be in a relationship with someone to be considered family?
I had never really thought of her being my babies auntie and i personally wouldnt see her as my sister in law when i get married. However i wouldnt have any objection to refering to her as Aunty ******** when baby arrives.
Post # 3
I think ur spot on the money about its about how u feel, if ur close n she feels like family then she’s ur sis-in-law n ur babies aunty but if ur not close know u don’t think she will be in ur child’s life much well then is just ur bros gf. But in saying that in my family we always called the Adults around us aunty or uncle it’s just wat we did, eg I cal my mums cousin who is the same age as mum = who is then my 2nd cousin aunty g…
Post # 4
I was not ever called Aunt anything until I married my husband. But then again if I had a baby tomorrow, my best friend would probably be called Aunt. It’s really up to you, not her.
Post # 5
@ChocolateLime: In your situation, until they are married I would have my child refer to her a “Miss”.
I’m currently 9 months preggo. All my closest friends are Aunt to our daughter. Everyone else is “Miss”.
I don’t think you should give the title until they are legally wed in case they break up again.
Post # 6
I don’t believe in giving people titles that are not correct to their definition. For you to be sisters in law, you would both have to be married to the brothers. She has to be married to your fiance’s brother to be the aunt.
Post # 7
My sister in law taught her then very young daughter my name as “Aunt ****” when DH and I had just started dating – 6 mo in or so. I loved it and it made me feel really included in the family.
I consider my younger brother’s girlfriend my SIL, even though they’re not married.
it all depends on how you feel about it.
Post # 8
If you want your child to call her aunt whomever thats your choice. I was with DH before 8 years before we married and wasnt “aunt” to his niece until several months before the wedding
Post # 9
@ChocolateLime: I don’t think it’s a length of time but rather the relationship everyone else has with that person. My nephew refers to my FI as uncle, and everyone else in my family refers to him as uncle (in reference to my nephew) and have from long before we were engaged. We have only been together for almost 2 years (engaged for almost a year) but he just clicked with everyone in my family from the get-go, so they’re all very close with him, and him close with them.
Post # 10
It’s really up to you, if you feels like family go for it. Personally, I would wait a bit longer before calling her Aunt **** . My nieces and nephews know my FI and “Uncle Brian” but we were together for years before they were born. His sister still doesn’t have her kids refer to me as Aunt. Which actually upset my FI last thanksgiving when she said she wouldn’t until we were married. Funny that later that day we set a date. hmm..
Post # 11
It really all depends. My family considers my FH part of the family, and they have before we were engaged (but everyone knew we were planning to get married). My mom, when asked, will say she has 4 kids and my grandma will say she has 7 grandkids. My brother and sister call him their BIL.
FH’s family, on the other hand, sees me just as FH’s fiancee. FH’s 17-year-old brother has called me his SIL a couple of times, but he also called me FH’s fiancee long before we were engaged. Though, if one of FH’s siblings had a baby, I think they’d start calling me the baby’s aunt right away since FH and I are engaged.
So it’s definitely not about the length of the relationship. It has a lot to do with the family and how they “see” the other person… so it’s up to you. It might be less complicated if they were engaged. At least then, there would be a (hopefully serious) intent to marry.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
@strawbabies: +1. I was brought up only calling my family Aunt and Uncle – that was just the way we did things, so I wouldn’t call her Auntie unless she marries your FI’s brother.
Post # 13
I would not consider her an aunt/sister-in-law until they are married.
Post # 14
SS calls SO’s brother’s girlfriend “Auntie ***”. Though they’ve been together for like 8 years and we don’t see them splitting up any time soon. SS also calls all my SO’s close guy friends Uncle whatever, and my good friend’s daughter calls me Auntie. It’s up to you! whatever you’re comfortable with!
Post # 15
Some of my future sisters-in-law started referring to me as Auntie to their kids before we were engaged, but they knew that we were on that path. If they didn’t think we were going to eventually get married I would think it would be different. It’s entirely up to you though! There’s no harm in calling her antie xxxx when the baby is born.
Post # 16
I think you need to wait until your at least engaged. FI has 2 neices and a nephew and they called me by my first name until we got engaged. The first time they called me aunt was the day we got engaged actually. My heart skipped a beat 🙂
A friend of mine always refers to her boyfriend’s nephew and her nephew and it always confuses the hell out of me. Like, thats not your nephew…