- 7 years ago
There we were, running errands, and having a talk about finances, work, school, etc etc, and it kind of morphed into a heated discussion. Not an argument, just sharing differing opinions on stuff in a calm yet assertive way. Eventually, he comes out with what’s holding him back as far as proposing and getting married and all. He brought it up, not me, so my Christmas Challenge vow is still intact, lol. Basically, what it boils down to is him feeling like nothing would necessarily change, things wouldn’t be any different than they are now. “It’s not an improvement in anything.” ALSO that he also wants to feel secure enough in himself career wise/financially that he could provide for us. And he said he doesn’t feel that way yet. Now here’s where I find a little fault with that last statement, but I haven’t said it to him just yet- He already is providing for us. I’m a SAHM with our two year old and my older son from a previous relationship. Granted we’re on a tight budget, but we both agreed that me staying home until our son is a little older would be the right choice for our family. So being a one income family is only temporary if you look at it from a long term perspective.
There was lots of other stuff said, and shared by both of us, I got his perspective, and he got mine, but what I take away from it is that our feelings differ on the subject based on him looking at the situation from a logical standpoint, and me looking at it from and emotional one. In other words, man(mars) versus woman(venus).
I should add that there were no timelines discussed, but he at least did say that his idea of a wedding would be just family. Which is about what I had kind of envisioned, plus maybe a few close friends. But, I didn’t bring that up, I figure that’s a discussion for another day. Like, maybe if and when he ever asks me, lol.
Now, I guess all I can do is sit and twiddle my thumbs, because I feel like it’s even further away than I thought it might be. And that makes me sad. The pessimist in me feels like it might take ten years for him to feel ready, and I don’t know how I feel about that. I do know I wanna cry though. But I’m holding it in, because he’s in the next room, playing computer games.