will this cause problems

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6953 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think it should be an issue, but I would let them both know of the situation in case they feel differently.

Post # 4
42076 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@00rubyred:  It will be fine. It will look as if it was intentional. The dresses are different although the FMIL may not be happy. That’s the chance she took by purchasing her dress first.

Traditionally, the bride’s mother chooses first and then informs the groom’s mother what she is wearing.

Post # 5
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@00rubyred:  It sounds like it was completely unintentional and has nothing to do with you. I don’t think you need to worry about managing the situation as anyone is free to wear whatever colour they wish. I would assume plenty of folks will have outfits that have a similar colour and there’s not much that can be done about it.

Post # 6
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

I would let them both know, so they can (if they want to) maybe pick different accessories and hairstyles.

I am worried about this happening with my mom & step-mom, but unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about it. Hopefully, FMIL won’t be too upset.

Post # 8
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

They look totally different! She should be fine. And if she’s not, she can always get a new dress (just pray it isn’t white!)

Post # 9
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it’s actually really cute for them to both be wearing the same color. Let them know so that they aren’t surprised, but I like the idea.

Post # 10
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@julies1949:  +1


This happened with my FMIL and Stepmother. FMIL bought her dress WAY too far in advance. Then Stepmother was out shopping for sneakers and stumbled upon a dress she loved!

Both dresses are a slate blue/gray. FMIL was a bit salty when I told her but I said that if she feels it’s a problem she could return her dress and find a new one. She wasn’t happy with the response but that’s life 😉

Post # 11
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@00rubyred:  They’re both gorgeous, and at the same time different from one another with the exception of the length and color. I wish my mom and MIL would have worn dresses like that!

Post # 12
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@00rubyred:  WOW those are gorgeous MOB/MOG dresses! I don’t think it is a problem at all!


Post # 13
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would just let them both know so they are warned!

It was really funny, my mum wanted to wait until a couple of months before the wedding to choose her outfit as she wanted to lose some weight first. We had talked about it before and she said that she would really like a “turquoise-y” blue floral/print dress. Anyway, a few weeks later I had a text from my fiancé saying his mum had chosen her outfit and yep, you guessed it – it was a turquoise-y floral print dress! I told my mum and neither of us were really bothered, at least we knew what to avoid when we did choose her outfit. I know they say that the MOB should choose her outfit first and the MOG has to “come into line” as it were, but in this situation when my mum is purposefully waiting, and she did not discuss her colour preferences with my fiancé’s mum, I think it is ok.

Going back to your point, like a pp said they are different enough. Maybe they could each accessorise in different ways?

Post # 14
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Those are great dresses and personally, I think they are different enough (and navy is a very popular dress color, so that is bound to happen). However, it matters what THEY think–not what we bees think. If FMIL is sensitive about it, then yes, it’ll likely cause problems. 

At my sister’s wedding, my mother and my sister’s MIL showed up in two almost-identical dresses. Same color. Same overall style. Different designers–but still. They looked like dress twins. It was totally by accident, and caught everyone by surprise. Both mothers were VERY upset about it, especially my sister’s MIL. My mom was bothered, but she got over it the minute she saw my sister in her wedding dress. My sister’s MIL, on the other hand, was rude to my Mom all night. It caused a lot of unnecessary drama. 

Point is, tell them as soon as you can.  If one of them is upset about it, she then will have plenty of time to change her dress. If no one changes her dress, then at least you know there will be no surprises on the day. 

Post # 15
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Where I live it’s not uncommon for the moms to wear the same color, sometimes even a shade of what the BMs are wearing.  Let her know, but I don’t see a problem, I think it’s nice when everything flows toether colorwise.

Post # 16
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It’ll look like it was done on purpose which is totally fine. My friend’s SILs and MIL all wore the same color/similar style dresses – not on purpose but found out only a week before- and everyone thought they looked great and that the dresses were to set them apart from everyone else (like the way bridesmaids dresses do).

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