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We are getting married next summer. At the time we set the date and started booking vendors, I was set to graduate from the nursing program in May. However, it's been hard and I decided that this is information that is critical that I know and I didn't want to just "rush through it" barely understanding the topics. I love what I'm learning and I wanted to know the information and be an effective nurse. So, I changed tracks (from accelerated to traditional) and discovered that I would only graduate a semester later than I had planned (from May to December).
This week I just found out that because I am no longer a "priority" for certain classes, I may not graduate next December, and I may graduate the following May of 2013.
Anyways, my fiance has been SO supportive. It's been really difficult for me and I've been in counseling trying to manage the stress (apparently nursing students are the #1 clients at my school's counseling center....). But when I told him about possibly graduating May 2013 he was really upset. He said he wants to be married and start our lives together without me being depressed, stressed, and somewhat absent-minded because I'm distracted by school and exams. And I want this with all my heart. I feel so burned out that some days I'm tempted to just drop out and resume later (if only I'd have a job in the interim!). I mean this is a man who wants kids so badly and I'm already having to postpone because of school, and etc, etc.
He apologized for making me feel bad about how upset he was and that he's supportive and he doesn't want to postpone the wedding (that was briefly discussed because I think he doesn't know how to tell his parents that I'll still be in school for another year after we get married--something I know they will be incredibly upset about). I want what he wants, but I can't help that the nursing program is rigid and that I can't get certain classes in order to graduate in December 2012.
Anyways, I'm wrapping this up because you might get the jist! I guess I'm just here to vent and wondering if any of you are in school during your first year of marriage? Maybe how that worked for you or how it's not working for you, tips, or just comments to make me feel like I'm not alone.
Thank you!
I am going to be a year from graduating nursing school when we get married too. :) Of course after his numerous major changes, FI is going to be 2.5 years from graduation so he can't complain too much. I know it is going to be harder because we are extra broke and stressed but I decided it was worth it to go ahead and be married. Are you going for LVN, ASN, BSN? I'm a BSN-RN student right now. It's a beast but totally going to be worth it when I'm a real nurse!
Hi I didn't get married during my school, will do this December, when I already graduated for like 2 years... but I don't think it will make any difference. Marriage will just bond you two more closely, right? Besides, one semester later is not that much different, just couple of months more, time flies fast~~ It will be extremely busy near graduation, I think it is great that you will get married before that busy time, and get more support from HIM :)
One of my classmates did exactly the same thing, she got married half year before graduation, and had a kid half year later after graduation.
you still have plenty of time to plan your wedding next May, don't let the stupid classes disturb your mood, your love is love, your life is your life, just plan it ahead, and embrace all the good days in the future:) Best of luck!
Why in the world would you being in school upset his parents???
We got married in October and I graduated in May of the following year. Within that time, we also spent a ton of time finding and buting a house, and then moved in right after I took exams. I would say, try to carve out at least a couple of hours a week that you devote to just him and your relationship. And try not to always go to him to complain and let off steam, leave that for your school friends
Yes, I will be going back to school once we are married. I don't have enough money to pay for everything while wedding planning. Neither do I have the time. Don't want the stress either. Good luck!
I'm not going to be a nurse, but I'm still in college (for my Bachelor's) and DH and I got married this past June. Ideally I would have liked to have graduated before the wedding, but with working full time it was impossible so I'm graduating this spring. DH is also still in college, but he gets to graduate this December. And the semester before our wedding I had to take only 3 classes because wedding planning/DIY projects took over my life.
We both went back to school this year and got married in the summer, so we're both old married farts in school. it's not so bad!
While I'm not in school, DH just started his freshmen year of school almost two years into our marriage. So, considering he has 3 1/2 more years of undergrad, 1-2 years for masters, and who knows how long if he choose to get his PhD....we'll be well past the newly wed stage and dang near into my mid 30s when the hubs is finally done w/ school.
Depends on the age. I'm a "mature" student. My version of "mature" is older than nearly all of my classmates.
... at 27 years young.
I won't be graduating until Oct. 2013. We're getting married July 2012. I'll probably also be going to get my Masters, too, so I might not be totally done with school til 2015/16.
I will be smack dab in the middle of finishing my masters degree.
I got married during my third year of law school, so I was still a student for the first month and a half or so of our marriage (and then I was studying for the bar for the next two and a half months, which is basically like being in school full-time?). It worked really well for us, because it gave us a little bit of time to adjust to one change (being married) before we adjusted to bigger changes (both working full-time instead of one/both of us in school).
I know the feeling. I decided to go to nursing school after not finding a job in my major for 2 years. At that point, I was only 5 months away from getting married. I ended up starting school one week before my wedding. Needless to say, it became a little bit stressful. However, everything has worked out and my husband is very supportive of my decision. Unfortunately, he also wants kids soon and I said I really don't think it's a good idea until after I have graduated. I also still have to apply to a nursing program (I haven't yet, due to fulfillinng pre-requisites), so my tentative graduation date is up in the air. For now, he seems understanding, but likes to hint at and joke about me getting pregnant pretty often. I just hope he doesn't resent me for not wanting to have kids right away!
Good luck!
Wow. There's a lot of people out there! :)
In response to chasesgirl, I'm getting my BSN-RN, as well. I love it, but it's certainly hard work, so I don't blame him for wanting me to be done. He's graduated and has all this spare time, but when I get home, I still have to study! Not to mention, I have 12 hour clinical shifts on the weekends and he has a regular 9-5 M-F job. It's not the easiest on our relationship!
In response to MrsSl82be, his parents would probably prefer that I'm graduated and "set" for life. They probably think we're too young, blah, blah, blah. I'm still in school, etc. I mean, I love them and they're wonderful, but they have certain views.... and need to make sure their precious baby boy is taken care of. Is that too much? That might have been too much. Haha, I understand where they are coming from, but he has been out of their house for at least 4 years and has a grown up job with salary and benefits...
I guess I'm alright with only being a one-income family, but I know he just wants me to be a "wife" and have "newlywed" experiences with out school draining the life out of me.
We graduated within 6 mo of each other with bachelors', got married 6 mo later, and now I'm applying to go back to school - whoo!
We're actually excited about it though, I'm enthusiastic about getting my PhD and he wants to move, and we already wanted to put off kids for like 10 years ha!
Wow, that sounds difficult!
I won't be a student, since I'm graduating in April and getting married in July. I kind of wish I wasn't a student during the wedding planning process, too!
I'll have at least one year to go after we get married, possibly two depending on what I decide to do. I'm not worried about it. I almost wouldn't want to try to adjust to marriage and finding a new job at the same time, I'm glad I'll still be in school, which I'm comfortable with and know. I know nursing students have one of the most stressful tracks in school but it sounds like you're dealing with the stress well with counseling and slowing things down, so I wouldn't worry. And I don't really care what my parents or his think, but I'm not sure why they would care if you're in school?
@amidette: understood!! They should justbe happy you are close to finishing and will be able to easily make a career out of your schooling. :)
Yep:) We are married and both in school He has two years left and I still have 5, boo.
Yep, I will most likely still be finishing up my PhD unless my project decides to start working, I can publish ASAP, start writing my thesis, and graduate this summer. Highly unlikely... but a girl can dream right? I guess it's a good thing because it'd be difficult finding a new job and having to take time off for my wedding right away in October.
well i have been a grad student for too long, so ya, we were both students when we got married. i still am. DH finished a few weeks ago.
I have 2 semesters left of my BA and my whole MA. DH has been really supportive during it all. He knows that I need to get my work done and can't always spend a lot of time solely with him.
I can see how a BSN-RN would be difficult but it shouldn't be impossible.
i started my phd a month after we got married, so i'll be a student for like the first 7 years of married life! dh has been really supportive but it's definitely been a big lifestyle change for us--for the 4 years we'd been together before i was working and had a more standard schedule, whereas now i'm doing schoolwork almost all the time. but while i'm busier and often under a lot of stress, i do think i'm happier because in the long run, this is the track i want to be on, i'm doing what i love. it'd be much harder if i had serious doubts about it since it's such a long road. and it'd be infinitely harder if dh wasn't supportive. i have a stipend from school but it's waaay less than my old salary was, so our income took a huge hit (we lived together before so joining expenses wasn't a change), but we're lucky in that we can manage that loss
Both my husband I are/were grad students when we got married in July. We work full time M-F 8-5, and school at night Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I graduate this May and my DH makes up two classes afterwards since he joined my program late. It was doable. Very busy, but doable.
I knew I needed to do it now rather than wait. It's nice having him in all my classes and hopefully we wot be so poor in the future.
I also was right in the middle of my MA when we were married in July. I will be graduating in May, and while I certainly don't regret marrying when we did (have to finish school regardless!), I am a little resentful, maybe, of the fact that I can't help to contribute as much to the household. Well, can't contribute anything. I'm currently an unpaid intern - which is so extremely frustrating.
But luckily, DH doesn't hold any bad feelings about the fact that he's the sole earner right now, and is very supportive.
Yup, I'm still in school. I'm in my last semester and it has been a bit tricky trying to juggle everything, but sometimes you have to make it work! I don't want to not be married when I go active duty, so this was the only time I knew we could do it!
I will be in my Masters degree. I graduated this past May. He graduates in December of this year - he is a non-traditional student. But I will start my Masters degree in January (long story, lol). I'm not too worried about it because we've already done "stressed out school" together because I did accelerated in my Bachelor's degree and finished it in 3 years while we were living together. I think he's soon the worst of it some days. Poor guy.
I know the Nursing programs are really hard and it's great that you're taking your time. You're right - you need to know this stuff forever to be a great Nurse! I will recommend NOT dropping out. Trust me, life gets in the way. I have seen SO MANY of my friends drop out "just for a semester" or "just until next year" who have yet to make plans to go back. My Mom dropped out of her Masters program because she got pregnant with me and says she regrets it so much - it ended up taking her so much longer to go back because she had more babies after me. Like I said, life got in the way. Priorities changed. Finish school before babies, you'll be so glad you did.
As to what you're saying about your FI and his parents... If they want you to enjoy newlywed things, then you don't want to resent those things. You might grow resentful when you realize your job opportunities and you realize how many jobs are out there for people who already have their degree. They need to realize that you have to "do the time" to reap the benefits. Is it fun? No. But so worth it.
I already have my bachelors degree but I might to back for another in Nursing instead of education with the way that the market has been. I'd probably start after the wedding.
My FI will be starting his grad school after we get married.
I will be in my last year of undergraduate when we get married. I plan on applying to medical school or maybe a masters program, not positive yet. Don't feel bad though! You will be out soon enough and making good money :)
I finished nursing school in August, and I just want to say that I totally understand the stress, because it is without a doubt a lot of hard work. I think you need to do what is best for you. It sounds like you have taken good steps by going to counseling, and if lengthening the program a little bit is going to make you not only a better nurse, but a less stressed person, then it sounds like that is definitely the best decision. Some people may not be happy about it, but you are very lucky to have such a supportive husband-to-be, and I think being in school while you are married can definitely work. My sister got married in May and started Med School in July! It will be nice for you to have stable support from your HUSBAND as you finish up school
My first year of marriage will also be my (*hopefully*) last year of my PhD program. I'm 25 (and will be 26 when I graduate), and that just made me sound and feel sooooo much older.
I got engaged in the final months of my PhD and it really helped to force me to relax a bit and think happy thoughts (i.e. oooooh pretty flowers!) On the other hand, the final months are horrible (they were for me) so make sure you keep the balance between work and play as it's easy to go over the edge, work like a maniac, push family and friends aside and watch yourself crumble. Or maybe that was just my experience. I'm somewhat glad I didn't actually plan the wedding during those final months as I think at that point I would have just considered it yet another stress factor and gone even battier than I was. But ladies, whatever happens, there's light at the end of the tunnel and you've got 2 amazing days to look forward to, the wedding and the final day of your studies!
I am smack dab in the middle of my degree :( will be in school for at least two more years after we're married.... lucky I have a supportive FI!
We got married this august and i don't graduate until next June. We work it out on one income and if anything i have found the stress easier to deal with since we got married.
To add further complications, because of the university i attend we live apart during term time. Its real tough, but we work it out because we're a family now and i haven't regretted our decision to get married before graduation for one second. I know i would have regretted waiting another year.
Wow, thank you everyone for all of your support! It makes me feel better knowing there are a lot of student-wives out there. You just always hear about how you graduate and then get married. I know there's a lot of people in my nursing program who are already married, but my FI is just worried about not seeing his new wife. And I keep telling him yeah, I'll be busy, but at least I'll be around with my new track! Hahaha.
Any tips to keep husbands happy?
Hope everyone is enjoying October!
Xo
I am a nursing student as well, getting married next June. It is nice to see others are in the same boat and that it is doable to both be a student AND plan a wedding! Sometimes it doesn't quite seem that way... :) I am also very lucky to have a very supportive FI!
I won't be in school still, but FI will!
I got my Associates in Photography, and have been out of school for 1.5 years - have a job in the field and everything. FI is 3.5 years in to a 6 year doctorate program in Physical Therapy and will still have 2 years to do after we get married in May. It gets rough sometimes but we know in the end it'll be worth it! It's a lot of pressure on me being the sole breadwinner for 2 years as well, but we'll manage.
Good luck to all the other couples in college!
I got married this past August- exactly half way thru x-ray school. I had to pick our date based on our summer break, or else I'd have pushed the wedding into fall. My DH is very supportive of me, even tho he's the sole bread winner and I'm affectionately known as "leech-wife" hehehe! It'll be worth it in the end!
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