(Closed) Will you marry me…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Ugh, I can imagine that it’s so frustrating to hear that. =/ Maybe you should just lay it all out for him. I’m curious–why can’t there be a “simple discussion”? I’d think that if a couple is ready and willing to get engaged/married, it’s a topic that’s open for discussion…

Post # 5
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@MsBrooklynA: Ah, gotcha. Some guys are just like that…do you have a timeline at all or anything?

Post # 6
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i made the mistake of doing the same thing you did!!! he just thought i was joking. every time. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 what you have to do is just act like you don’t care whether or not yall get married…. not like you give him the cold shoulder but just don’t talk about it, don’t let him catch you watching say yes to the dress or anything cause eventually he really won’t take you serious. you don’t want to pressure him either… but you know your guy better than anyone.

the best way to approach this is just to step back and let him do his thing. girl, i know its hard! really i do cause i’m in the same situation. and he has totally come around and has stopped acting like i’m crazy. and guess what??????? now HE is the one talking about it.

Post # 7
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I did that with my FI. every morning  I would ask. It became a running joke with us.

Post # 8
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@MsBrooklynA: OMG ME TOO! Everynight I would ask “Can we get married now?” And he would say “Tomorrow”. Kind of wish one of those times he would have just pulled out the ring!

Post # 9
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My advice to you is not to bring it up for a while. I used to be very impatient too but as soon I set up my internal deadline and we both agreed that we would talk about our relationship this holiday season, I let it go and now I can say I am happy to just wait.

Post # 10
Member
809 posts
Busy bee

I’ve proposed numerous times to my boyfriend.  BUT I do it in a joking way because I know he isn’t quite ready yet and will say, “No” if I ask him seriously.  We’ve already talked about marriage and all, we want to , but he doesn’t want to right now.  My proposals go like this:

Me: (with a heartfelt sigh and gooey eyes) Oh J!  My world would not be complete without you!  (holds up something… hot sauce, candy, cereal) Will you marry me?

J: (Laughing)  Aww you’re so cute.  But no!  Because I’ll be asking you when I’m ready to.  Are you going to eat that??

 

Blahh.

Post # 11
Member
2026 posts
Buzzing bee

@KS240030: Same here. Once I set up my internal deadline, and told him what it was, to which he agreed was fair, I’ve been much more content to wait.

PS, that deadline is about 2 1/2 years away, so I’ll be lurking on these pages for awhile I presume.

Post # 12
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

He wants to be the one to ask so he doesn’t take me seriously when I say it. He just knows that he will be the one to do it and that will make it official.

 

I’ve also done this before… and he never takes me seriously. Sometimes I wonder what he would do if I actually was being serious.

In all reality, I want him to do the asking. I want to be swept off my feet with a romantic proposal with the whole nine yards…

But sometimes I wonder… what if I got very fed up with waiting and asked him seriously… I wonder what he’d say…

Post # 13
Member
2026 posts
Buzzing bee

@katydiddle: In all reality, I want him to do the asking. I want to be swept off my feet with a romantic proposal with the whole nine yards…

AMEN! This is one of those things though that I really think about stereotypes. Here we women are usually the organized, planner types, we know years before our men do, and yet we have to wait around for THEM to decide. It’s a cruel world.

Perhaps this is the real origin of the ring? Guy waits forever, proposes, girl says “sure, but where’s my big diamond for making me wait jerkface?” Can we say jeweled apology? (In fact, I may or may not have said to SO “since you’re going to make me wait a few more years, you just upped my expectations on the ring come proposal time”. I drooled over Emma from Helzberg for MONTHS! Center stone 1/3 ct, $1500 for the set, do you think he budged? Nope… he could’ve been home free with a set for a STEAL)

Post # 14
Member
34 posts
Newbee

I have tried this myself I have asked him twice including once this morning and both times he laughed it off like a joke but I was semi-serious! Man this is so infuriating. 

Post # 16
Member
809 posts
Busy bee

@sleepingbeauty88: LOL I totally agree with your “jeweled apology” that’s perfect!!  I’ve been shoving some good deals under his nose and being like, “These are one time deals!! Look what you could be getting for so little money!!” So now his good deal time is gone and he must shop without me (I’m big on saving money and finding deals, bf not so much).

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