Anyone using confetti for their exit?
more by jaylii9
Excited! (totally random)
Macy's Registry Screw-up
more in Gifts and Registries
Gifts mailed to your house when do you open?
dark spots on skin...
more in Boards
diy wedding dress?.

Will you use gifts before the wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Will you use gifts before the wedding?
    Yes : (18 votes)
    51 %
    No : (12 votes)
    34 %
    Unsure : (5 votes)
    14 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  •  
    1.
    Member
    1,575 posts
    Bumble bee
    jaylii9    September 5, 2010  

    Will you use gifts that you receive before your wedding wedding? Or  if you are already married, waht did you do?

    Etiquette states that couple should wait to use their gifts until after the wedding. I think that if an engagement is called off couples are supposed to offer to give back gifts to the people who gave them.

    I used to think this was a dumb rule, but then I saw one of co-workers go through an engagement falling apart and wedding being cancelled last spring. Things were ugly to begin with and then messy with some issues such as gifts because they had already started using gifts received at the shower. So, I even though I really want to use gifts, I am going to wait until after the wedding. I also don't think my engagement will be called off, but after seeing the above experience I am a bit wary of using gifts (superstitious maybe?!)

     
    2.
    Hostess
    16,857 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    We waited until after the wedding but that was because most of the things we registered for aren't things that we use all the time anyway (like wine glasses).

     
    3.
    Member
    3,677 posts
    Sugar bee
    hilsy85    September 2010  

    The only gift we've received so far is a set of crystal glasses, and we used those babies the same night we got them :) I"ve also heard the rule not to use stuff til after the wedding, but I guess I"ll take my chances!

     
    4.
    Member
    4,510 posts
    Honey bee
    OttawaBride2011    May 21, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    Hmmm. I hadn't even considered this until you mentioned it. You make a good point though, if you don't end up getting married, you really shouldn't keep the gifts. Therefore, using them before the wedding seems like a bad idea!

     
    5.
    Member
    1,210 posts
    Bumble bee
    otb    December 31, 2009   Chicago, IL

    I used our gifts.  I know about the rule that if your engagement gets called off you should return the gifts, but it didn't even cross my mind.  I was just like, "Cool, we got the waffle iron."  Haha, I guess I'm glad that things didn't get called off!  Honestly, I think if you are concerned that the engagement might get called off and that's why you won't be using your gifts.... well, I think you know what you need to do.  I do know that a couple of my friends didn't use their gifts because they were moving and were waiting until the got into the new house.  That makes sense, I think, but we had moved before we started getting gifts, so it was just bonus for us.

     
    6.
    Hostess
    16,857 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    This makes me think about couples who get married and divorced quickly.  Why do they get to keep the gifts just for being married for a few months or a year but other people have to give the gifts back because they called off the engagement?  Doesn't seem fair.

     
    7.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    6,780 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    spaniel    March 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    We're using our wedding gifts as we get them... there is no risk of our wedding being called off. ;) But so far almost all of the gifts we've received are the pretty ones, rather than the useful ones, so by default we're putting them away for now and not using them (but not by design!).

     
    8.
    Member
    4,510 posts
    Honey bee
    OttawaBride2011    May 21, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    I don't know that anyone *thinks* their engagement might get called off... it's kind of rude to say that if you think that you shouldn't use your gifts before the wedding because something bad might happen, then you should just call off your engagement now!

     
    9.
    Member
    4,510 posts
    Honey bee
    OttawaBride2011    May 21, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    @MissAsB - That's a good point too! That really doesn't seem fair! :)

     
    10.
    Member
    1,575 posts
    Bumble bee
    jaylii9    September 5, 2010  

    @otb- Whoa, you really misunderstood me! I am in a great relationship with FI, we own a home together and I am not at all thinking about calling off my engagement! I am more superstitious about these type of things, not concerned about my relationship with FI.

     
    11.
    Member
    2,509 posts
    Sugar bee
    ddubzz    June 5, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    We've already received a couple of gifts off our registry, and we've used them both!  There is no way we're calling off this wedding and I've broken enough rules of wedding "etiquette", so one more won't hurt.  Tongue out

     
    12.
    Member
    2,411 posts
    Buzzing bee
    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    Well I've had to call off an engagement before and luckily I had only received one gift and that was some wine charms that had a wedding cake, ring etc on them and came from my close friend.  I gave them back to her and told her to give them to me the next time around!

    No plans for us to call off this wedding only 60days to go!  But I feel weird opening a gift now that I just received in the mail.  See my other post

     
    13.
    Member
    6,643 posts
    Bee Keeper
    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    we're opening and using everything! i figure if god for bid something horrible happens, i won't give a damn and we'll just pay people for their gifts. we were using my fi's old, crappy things from college, why would i use them if we have brand new things? and now, we only have 18 more days to get through. i think we'll be ok.

     
    14.
    Member
    1,210 posts
    Bumble bee
    otb    December 31, 2009   Chicago, IL

    @jaylii9 - I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to imply that you thought that.  I guess I was just trying to say that if your reasoning behind not using the gifts was because of that you may be in trouble, and I was definitely not categorizing it as you personally, but as a more general, anybody-out-there-who-was-thinking-that you.  Also, I guess I didn't take into account any supersitions, because I'm not really a superstitious person.  So I am really sorry my comment came out the wrong way.  That is def not what I had in mind!  And I do understand that things happen, and nobody "thinks" their engagement will be called off, I guess I really just wasn't thinking at all when I posted that!  Lol.  So sorry girls if my post offended anyone.  That was def not my intention at all!

     
    15.
    Member
    2,262 posts
    Buzzing bee
    bree72    December 31, 2008  

    We used ours, but I now suggest everyone wait.

    A very close friend of mine was in a wonderful 4 year relationship, got engaged, and planned a seriously amazing wedding. They were an awesome couple and no one suspected anything, especially the bride. Well, he didn't show up to the wedding. No explanation, just said he couldn't do it. Besides being heartbroken, she now had to deal with the presents from about 500 guests plus those from 2 showers. Not something you really want to be worrying about in a time like that. Luckily she had only opened a few gifts, so it was fairly easy for her family to gather everything up and return items. But it really would have sucked if I had been in the same predicament, seeing as I wouldn't have been able to return anything!

    No one thinks anything is going to happen, but I think it would probably just be safer to wait!

     
    16.
    Hostess
    5,534 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Mrs. Spring    May 10, 2009   California

    We used one gift before the wedding: a Keurig coffee maker from my SIL.  Everything else sat down in one of our spare bedrooms until after the honeymoon.  But I agree with you on waiting until after the wedding to use most/all of the gifts.  My little sister ended up calling off her engagement, and she couldn't even return half the gifts because they had already used them (like towels, sheets, etc...).  It made a difficult time even more stressful because she didn't know what to do with the used gifts. 

     
    17.
    Member
    1,575 posts
    Bumble bee
    jaylii9    September 5, 2010  

    otb- No hard feelings. :) I just didn't want people to think that worries about my relationship were the motivation behind my post.

     
    18.
    Member
    1,644 posts
    Bumble bee
    Mermaid1082    September 4, 2010   St Louis, MO

    We'll be waiting.  We already have a little pile started in one of the spare bedrooms.

     
    19.
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    cfitz621    July 17, 2010   Memphis, TN

    I'm not planning on using any of my gifts before the wedding, but I have a different motivation than superstition or etiquette. 

    I really want to start off our marriage with "new" things.  We've lived together for 4 years - and I'm happy with our decision - but I feel like a lot of the new stuff married couples get to experience, we've already done.  Waking up together? Everyday.  Joining finances? Got it.  Decorating the house? Done. 

    So saving our wedding presents - the pots and pans, the everyday dishes, the towels - help me mark a passage from one stage to another. 

     
    20.
    Member
    1,221 posts
    Bumble bee
    Tonya2010    September 11, 2010  

    I will be using whatever I get at showers before the wedding. I am not superstitious and I am 100% for sure that we are going to get married on September 11, 2010 (unless an act of God makes it impossible).

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    rachgirl82 39
    pengoala 33
    kate02121 12
    ndreighton 11
    Indecisivebride2012 10
    louiseW 10
    Lyndzo 9
    msdragon 9
    Beckster329 9
    Joyful80 9

    Gifts and Registries

    User Posts Today
    shychigirl 1
    More