Will you/Did you pay for your child's wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Choose all that apply
    I plan on helping pay for daughter's wedding : (143 votes)
    24 %
    I already helped pay for daughter's wedding : (10 votes)
    2 %
    I will not help pay for daughter's wedding : (27 votes)
    5 %
    I plan on helping pay for son's wedding : (111 votes)
    19 %
    I already helped pay for my son's wedding : (2 votes)
    0 %
    I will not help pay for son's wedding : (31 votes)
    5 %
    My parents helped pay for my wedding : (151 votes)
    26 %
    Husband/wife parents helped pay for wedding : (57 votes)
    10 %
    My parents did not help pay : (55 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @legenwaitforitdary:  Yes, we have talked about this and we aren’t even married yet ourselves! My parents have paid for the majority of our wedding and his parents paid for rehearsal dinner. We plan to do the same for our children.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7262 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Our parents split the cost of our wedding, although our wedding only cost $3000. I would like to do the same for my kids, but only if they don’t spend a ridiculous amount on thier wedding. They can pay for that on their own!

    Post # 6
    Member
    6507 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Our wedding was split three ways.

    I would like to do the same or more for our children, however, we will be giving a set amount as opposed to offering to cover the whole thing. Also, we will only be doing this if we can afford it. We plan to save for it but if something happens where we are not able to help out and still be okay financially we will not be helping.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6644 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Of course we will help pay for our son’s wedding and any other children we have.  That is just a given, since our parents helped pay for our wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    We will help out, but for a reasonable cost. MoM and Dad wont be in debt for a party, if te future  children want lavish, they can pay the difference. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3598 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    We had a very small wedding that was only around $3000 total.  We had some help from our parents in that.  I would be willing to do the same thing for my child.  But we will not pay out the nose for a party.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    We’ll give all of our kids the same amount of money. They can choose how to spend it– downpayment, honeymoon, reception costs, etc. We’ll give the equivalent to about 5k today.

    ETA: our wedding/honeymoon budget was 3k and we came in under budget. DH and I were raised/are of the mindset that a single day or experience isn’t worth a significant investment (not that 3k isn’t a lot) and won’t be willing to sink a boat load of money into our kids days. Ugh, that sounds harsh, but those are just our values/culture.

     

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, and mine paid for my dress!

    I assume we’ll be offering our kids a similar deal.

    Post # 12
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Good question! I’ve never even thought about this for our own child(ren) someday.

    As for us, we’re paying for about 95% of our wedding ourselves (we’re 35 and well-established in our careers, plus own our home together). At our age, we would never dream of having our parents pay for our wedding! However, my parents gifted me my wedding gown and are helping with the centerpieces, as they helped my half-brother and half-sister out with their weddings. My FH’s mom is not in a position financially to contribute anything, and we understand and expect that to be the case.

    If our child(ren) will be in the same situation as we are now, then we will help with small things. But if he/she/they want to marry right out of college, then things would definitely change, as weddings are expensive and there’s no way he/she/they could afford it!

    Post # 13
    Member
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I think getting married is the responsibility of the couple, so no, I wouldn’t pay for my child’s wedding.

    That said, I do believe in generous family gifts for weddings. Both our parents and one grandparent gave us very generous gifts that actually did cover the costs of our wedding (very small wedding), but as we had already paid for the wedding out of our savings, we put their gifts toward our upcoming move and organizing our new home. We would absolutely give each of our kids the same amount of money as a wedding gift, and they can use that money for whatever they want.

    Post # 14
    Member
    849 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @legenwaitforitdary:  rule of thumb here is groom’s family pay for booze and flowers and bride’s family pays for the rest. We are splitting the costs (us and family) and I think that’s probably what I’d do.I am saying this because my step sister is planning this HUGE expensive wedding and she’s just laid all the costs at my step father’s feet and he feels obliged to pay – I think that’s over the top.

     

    Interesting topic though! Something to think about.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I plan on helping our kids equally. FI’s parents are helping us a little (they paid for half of his brother’s wedding, which would pay for our entire wedding), and my family is not able to help us out at all. HOPEFULLY, our kids will be good with money like we are, and I think we’ll probably sit down with them when the time comes and bring up the topic of money and maybe offer a set amount that they can do whatever with.

    Post # 16
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would like to be in a position to offer them something , but more than anything, I want my children to grow up appreciating the value of money. I expect them to earn towards school, a wedding, a car, a house. I have been providing for myself 100% since I was ten and could start working to pay for clothes, school supplies, field trips, etc. I also helped my family during hard times but paying towards the family car, and a washing machine. On the one hand, I am proud of being self sufficient, but on the other, it was really harsh to get by sometimes, and I missed out on a lot. I want a better balance for my children. So I want to have a small college fund, a small wedding fund, and a small house fund set up, just enough to ease the load without pampering. 

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