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I had only heard about this kind of thing a few years ago - but I thought it was some kind of marketing thign, haha. Like a way to sell more jewelry. I didn't know there actually was a real tradition behind it. If my mom or any of my aunts ever got a gift for having a child, I've never seen or heard of it - and I highly doubt my FI will be doing anything like that. It's okay - we're not big gift givers anyway. :)
It sounds like a very sweet t hign to do though!
Yes, in NYC it's called a "push present." (probably in other places too)
I've known women to get diamond earrings and such and a woman in my office last year got a pair of CLs.
My dad got my mom pearl earrings I think for me, and I'm not sure what for my sister.
i've never heard of a push present. i don't know, i feel like a baby would be present enough for me.
I too love the idea of passing something onto my children from their daddy... it's so sweet!
A push present, teehee.
Well the idea behind it is that it is a legacy item for that child, not necessarily a grabby gift.
Plus, in our case, both of us will still be working full time (I have to...work won't pay for my degree if I don't work my 40/week) so that makes it more realistic financially for us.
Hells to the yes, I expect a push present after carrying a baby around for 9 months, gaining a rediculous amount of weight and then actually HAVING the thing...I would love a necklace with the initial of our baby, plus maybe our initials too, something I can keep adding to as we have more kids...Althought, diamond studs would be nice too...hmmmmm, something to think about :)
I've heard of the "push" presents. My friend got a gorgeous diamond pendant during her first pregnancy. Don't know if we'll be doing something similar. I do love the idea of passing it on to the kids at some point though.
I hadn't heard of this until recently (when friends started having babies) I have mixed emotions about it. It's kinda like giving wedding gifts - shouldn't the wedding, marriage, rings be enough and same goes for having a baby, shouldn't having this new addition be enough of a gift without some extra token and bling? I'm sure in some circles it's become custom so how could a woman not receive a push present, when all their friends do. I think if the gifts weren't normally expensive jewelry I'd feel differently - I'm giving my hubby to be a gift on the wedding day, but its not expensive and I certainly wouldn't expect him to present me with more jewelry on our wedding day, I'm just excited to get my wedding band!
From Marriage to Motherhood just did a post about this topic recently. She made some good points, but not in favor of push presents. I think it definitley swayed me to the anti group! http://jessicaralph.blogspot.com/2009/08/push-present-really.html
I guess I wouldn't decline a gift from my hubby when we have kids, but I wouldn't expect anything and pick something out either - again mixed emotions!
@Steph, she certainly makes a lot of good points! I can see both sides of the argument.
DH isn't exactly the creative "i thought of it myself" kind of guy. We didn't do wedding gifts and we don't go overboard for most holidays at all. And he'd just rather I let him know what I want (THIS jacket for my birthday or some gold loops or basically anything specific) because gift-giving frustrates him b/c he never *knows* what I want.
I think *expensive* is in the eye of the beholder and all in what you can afford and what you make. I'd be thrilled with a darling little silver locket, even. I'm such a sucker for lockets =]
I got one! My xh got me a tag watch w/diamonds around the bezel and a tennis bracelet. *(last one for c section emergency and 9 days in the hospital).
@<span style="font-size: x-small; color: #81a026;">ejs4y8: you're so right, again I have mixed emotions about it! With my group it has certainly been really nice gifts - diamond earrings, diamond band rings, lots of diamonds! It seems as though the ladies think it's another chance to get some bling once the wedding (e-ring and band) has passed. I agree a sweet token like a locket with pictures or intitals would be a fabulous gift that doesn't have to cost a lot.
Just a story from my experiences...a former co-worker did not get a push present with her first child. For her second, she started hinting (I guess the trend became super popular between baby 1 & 2)! Her hubby gave her diamond earrings for baby 2 and very sweetly said he chose earrings because it was one for each child. This lady wasn't too pleased and told him and our office about it! She wanted 2 seperate gifts - I guess she thought he needed to get one for Baby 2 and make up for not getting one for Baby 1!
And also, I can certainly understand pointing out things you like for the hubby who doesn't love shopping! My guy appreciates pointers as well :)
I think my issue with the push present is that some women expect it, get upset when they dont get it and also feel entitled that it be something super expensive like at least thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Again, some women, not all! :-D
I've heard of push presents but nobody I know has ever recieved one. I don't expect anything but if he wants to use having a baby as an excuse to buy me jewelry-I'm all for it!
Oh, that IS awful! I think the "pair of earrings" idea is way cute. He obviously put thought into it! One for each baby, how sweet! I bet he got her nice earrings, too, and when women act like that, that's just ungrateful, geeez.
If DH doesn't want to get me a present, I'm totally ok with it. But knowing him, if I drop a hint (out shopping or something) and say "ooo that'd be a pretty present for when I have our first baby in a few years" kinda half-jokingly, half-real, that'll cement it in his head enough that if he wants to do something, that is what I'd like! If not, cool. I did get him a super nice gift when he got back from Iraq, teehee. But I do expect him to do all those other things around the house for me! =]. I'm already warning him he'll be on barf bucket duty and shoe laces and stuff, cuz if I turn out to be anything like my mom, I'll be HUGE. Our hips jut out, so there isn't a lot of pre-built in nesting room for a baby. I honestly won't be surprised if he's like, "ok i'll buy you a gift" even if it's simpler than what I initially wanted, or if it ends up being a combined gift with my birthday or something. I'm all about the combos and we do it frequently to stretch our dollars.
I certainly would not expect a fancy watch (nice, Bellenga! =] ) or anything really really pricey. DH is really a fan of the color orange, which is why I'd like something in orange for him =]. I also got my stand mixer in orange!
Trust me, if i just wanted fancy bling, I'd go out and buy my own and he certainly knows that =].
My FI hasn't heard of *any* traditions. He's catching up to speed. Maybe by the time we have kids, he'll know about push presents?
I heard of "push presents" for the first time from the Atlanta Bride blog (Marriage to Motherhood) when she posted her article. I have to agree with her but that is because I don't ever expect anything. I surely don't expect a gift and I will never hint to my FH that I want a gift for having our babies but then again I won't deny a gift if my FH decides to get me one. In that case, it would be a great surprise!
But this is different since it is not widely known or practiced. I know it has never been done for women I am associated with other than when my boss bought his wife 1 carat diamond earrings when their 2nd baby girl was born but that was because they had lost their first child on the due date a year or so prior to the 2nd child being born. It was very nice of him and she was sooo appreciative of his thoughtfulness!
There are a lot of moms that I know that have all gotten push presents. I'm sure one of my family friends will be "kind" enough to tell him he should get his little tush out there and buy something sparkly. They're good for those kinds of things.
I would like to believe that he'd remember to get something on his own...he's been awesome so far on jewelry.
I have never heard of this, but I will be sure to let the FI know.
Mr. F and I talked about getting a ring for the first child, but there was no mention of gifts for more children. Hmmm.. I'll have to clarify before I have a bun in the oven!
I don't really consider this a southern tradition...and I'm from the south...my understanding is it's a recent thing that began with the wealthy and now jewelry stores and the like have promoted it as normal or traditional. I'm not opposed to it per se but for me I wouldn't want a gift that I had to tell someone to buy me. If I had to tell hubby "you're supposed to give me a gift and here this is what I want...make sure you get this size and this color" etc. then the idea of the gift looses it's point. I could just go buy it myself.
I've heard of other traditions for the baby...like giving them a piece of silver or china on each gift giving occasion so by the time they get married they have their whole "set" but I think this is really old school southern.
We never called it a push present btw.
It was just something you got when you went thru a day of hell and if men were pregnant? We'd all having to buy them sportscars or something.
@bellenga
HAHAHAHAHA. Hilarious.
I think once I mention things like stitches down there and all the pain and the fact that i just shoved a bowling ball through a 10" wide gap (not to mention likely i'll be in the last minute c-section camp...women are, er, "narrow" in my family), it'll seem like a small enough thing.
I'd be happy if my DH could come up with a sweet card on all his own, but alas, he just isn't good with stuff like that. It doesn't mean any less if i have to nudge him along, though. He just doesn't think all romantic about stuff like that. Never has and I've learned not to expect any surprises.
I never really knew about it until we started shopping for wedding rings! There was a guy in the store looking for two rings, one with pink sapphire and one with blue sapphire because his wife had just given birth to twins! I thought it was really sweet. He wanted really thin bands that she could put next to her wedding band.
I heard about "push presents" a few years ago. I wouldn't expect a gift, but it would be sweet if he got me one on his own.
@sweetkate, that's so cute!!! I love when it has a meaning like that, pink and blue sapphires, how adorable.
I'd loooove to have twins, lemme tell ya! Two in one shot =]. Plus so damn cute. The padparadscha sapphires are my favorite right now: orange/pink and orange/red colors.
We have considered adding celerbation bands to my wedding ring, since it's raised and the wedding band leaves room for other bands above it - and depending on the child's sex ( boy-blue, girl= pink) would buy a diamond band in such colors. if we have too many kids then ill just wear it on the other hand insted of with the wedding ring - but it's a nice way to keep our union (represented by wedding ring) growing in more ways than one.
Heh, it's a cute idea but I doubt I will be getting one. I'm still waiting for my wedding present, a Christmas present, and my birthday present from him. Although I'm mutually guilty on the no Christmas present thing. :) Maybe I'll mention it, although finances are tight and there's no way I'd be getting any fancy jewelry.
I have always wanted one since my father got them for my mother. Great classic pieces of jewelry for her to pass on to me as well as something monogrammed (For me it was a custom made corn husk mother with child with our names/dates on it and for my brother is was a sketch of the first time she held my brother)....
as I start thinking about it, I don't think I have EVER mentioned this to my future hubby...
I will have to do that ;) Good thing he has such baby fever that he'll probably by me a present for every month I'm pregnant haha
Are you sure we don't know each other EJS? =)
This is a tradition for my family. Fiance didn't exactly know of the tradition but mentioned jokingly that he would upgrade my ring each time I have a child ... I told him get ready for 12 
jk.
I love this tradition. Hopefully if everything is how I dream for it to be ... I will get jewelry that I can pass on to my child.
I have kind of mentioned it to the hubs. Not prenant or anything, but I've been dying for a nice strand of pearls. I linked him to one (ok, still not even the greatest pearls, freshwater still), and i told him it would make a great gift for maybe an anniversary, or if I ever graduate college (:p) and that often the husband will give his wife a gift when she has their baby. So, I've mentioned it, but he can pick when he gives it to me :p I've also brought up like a charm bracelet and getting a charm each time we have a child, but I really hate wearing things on my wrists I've discovered!
I've never heard of this but then I'm in Australia. Here an eternity ring is often given for the birth of a first baby (or at a particular anniversary). I like the idea of having a pretty piece of jewellery to mark the occasion of a baby's birth, and then I can pass it down to the child. I'm not sure FH is really up on this tradition, which I only heard of in the last few years (neither of our families are really into this sort of thing) but I'll be making sure he knows about it when the time comes :)
@JoesWifey, my mom gets a charm from every location she and my dad have traveled to. It's chock full of a ton of charms. She stopped adding to it, but it's all solid yellow gold and she has a gold pineapple from their honeymoon in Maui 25 years ago. It's so precious to her and she rarely wears it (charm bracelets are delicate) but she just loooves it. I'll have to remind her to let me know what the rest of them are from and be sure I get her a gold charm when I'm in India in November!! =]
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Beekeeper
Maybe this is a Southern Tradition (ok stl isn't south but you know what i mean) in that when you give birth/have a child, your husband buys you a present.
Anybody else plan on following this tradition (or hoping to? lol)
I think this is a lovely way to have something special that eventually you pass on (i love the idea of having jewelry I can give to my daughters or sons to give to their wives), but feasibly, having a baby ain't cheap!
Frankly, I've already been daydreaming about what I want (not sure he'll be on board...he didn't think we needed to buy his SISTER a gift for having her second baby. AH! Needles to say I ran to Neiman Marcus and bought this except a bear not a puppy) and I'm leaning towards an orange sapphire in a halo setting.
Anyone else on board with this tradition?