Post # 1
Maybe this is a Southern Tradition (ok stl isn’t south but you know what i mean) in that when you give birth/have a child, your husband buys you a present.
Anybody else plan on following this tradition (or hoping to? lol)
I think this is a lovely way to have something special that eventually you pass on (i love the idea of having jewelry I can give to my daughters or sons to give to their wives), but feasibly, having a baby ain’t cheap!
Frankly, I’ve already been daydreaming about what I want (not sure he’ll be on board…he didn’t think we needed to buy his SISTER a gift for having her second baby. AH! Needles to say I ran to Neiman Marcus and bought this except a bear not a puppy) and I’m leaning towards an orange sapphire in a halo setting.
Anyone else on board with this tradition?
Post # 3
I had only heard about this kind of thing a few years ago – but I thought it was some kind of marketing thign, haha. Like a way to sell more jewelry. I didn’t know there actually was a real tradition behind it. If my mom or any of my aunts ever got a gift for having a child, I’ve never seen or heard of it – and I highly doubt my FI will be doing anything like that. It’s okay – we’re not big gift givers anyway. 🙂
It sounds like a very sweet t hign to do though!
Post # 4
Yes, in NYC it’s called a “push present.” (probably in other places too)
I’ve known women to get diamond earrings and such and a woman in my office last year got a pair of CLs.
My dad got my mom pearl earrings I think for me, and I’m not sure what for my sister.
Post # 5
i’ve never heard of a push present. i don’t know, i feel like a baby would be present enough for me.
Post # 6
I too love the idea of passing something onto my children from their daddy… it’s so sweet!
Post # 7
A push present, teehee.
Well the idea behind it is that it is a legacy item for that child, not necessarily a grabby gift.
Plus, in our case, both of us will still be working full time (I have to…work won’t pay for my degree if I don’t work my 40/week) so that makes it more realistic financially for us.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Hells to the yes, I expect a push present after carrying a baby around for 9 months, gaining a rediculous amount of weight and then actually HAVING the thing…I would love a necklace with the initial of our baby, plus maybe our initials too, something I can keep adding to as we have more kids…Althought, diamond studs would be nice too…hmmmmm, something to think about 🙂
Post # 9
I’ve heard of the “push” presents. My friend got a gorgeous diamond pendant during her first pregnancy. Don’t know if we’ll be doing something similar. I do love the idea of passing it on to the kids at some point though.
Post # 10
I hadn’t heard of this until recently (when friends started having babies) I have mixed emotions about it. It’s kinda like giving wedding gifts – shouldn’t the wedding, marriage, rings be enough and same goes for having a baby, shouldn’t having this new addition be enough of a gift without some extra token and bling? I’m sure in some circles it’s become custom so how could a woman not receive a push present, when all their friends do. I think if the gifts weren’t normally expensive jewelry I’d feel differently – I’m giving my hubby to be a gift on the wedding day, but its not expensive and I certainly wouldn’t expect him to present me with more jewelry on our wedding day, I’m just excited to get my wedding band!
From Marriage to Motherhood just did a post about this topic recently. She made some good points, but not in favor of push presents. I think it definitley swayed me to the anti group! http://jessicaralph.blogspot.com/2009/08/push-present-really.html
I guess I wouldn’t decline a gift from my hubby when we have kids, but I wouldn’t expect anything and pick something out either – again mixed emotions!
Post # 11
@Steph, she certainly makes a lot of good points! I can see both sides of the argument.
DH isn’t exactly the creative “i thought of it myself” kind of guy. We didn’t do wedding gifts and we don’t go overboard for most holidays at all. And he’d just rather I let him know what I want (THIS jacket for my birthday or some gold loops or basically anything specific) because gift-giving frustrates him b/c he never *knows* what I want.
I think *expensive* is in the eye of the beholder and all in what you can afford and what you make. I’d be thrilled with a darling little silver locket, even. I’m such a sucker for lockets =]
Post # 12
I got one! My xh got me a tag watch w/diamonds around the bezel and a tennis bracelet. *(last one for c section emergency and 9 days in the hospital).
Post # 13
So how do you tell the man that you expect a push present?
Post # 14
@<span style=”font-size: x-small; color: #81a026;”>ejs4y8: you’re so right, again I have mixed emotions about it! With my group it has certainly been really nice gifts – diamond earrings, diamond band rings, lots of diamonds! It seems as though the ladies think it’s another chance to get some bling once the wedding (e-ring and band) has passed. I agree a sweet token like a locket with pictures or intitals would be a fabulous gift that doesn’t have to cost a lot.
Just a story from my experiences…a former co-worker did not get a push present with her first child. For her second, she started hinting (I guess the trend became super popular between baby 1 & 2)! Her hubby gave her diamond earrings for baby 2 and very sweetly said he chose earrings because it was one for each child. This lady wasn’t too pleased and told him and our office about it! She wanted 2 seperate gifts – I guess she thought he needed to get one for Baby 2 and make up for not getting one for Baby 1!
And also, I can certainly understand pointing out things you like for the hubby who doesn’t love shopping! My guy appreciates pointers as well 🙂
I think my issue with the push present is that some women expect it, get upset when they dont get it and also feel entitled that it be something super expensive like at least thousands of dollars worth of jewelry. Again, some women, not all! 😀
Post # 15
I’ve heard of push presents but nobody I know has ever recieved one. I don’t expect anything but if he wants to use having a baby as an excuse to buy me jewelry-I’m all for it!
Post # 16
Oh, that IS awful! I think the “pair of earrings” idea is way cute. He obviously put thought into it! One for each baby, how sweet! I bet he got her nice earrings, too, and when women act like that, that’s just ungrateful, geeez.
If DH doesn’t want to get me a present, I’m totally ok with it. But knowing him, if I drop a hint (out shopping or something) and say “ooo that’d be a pretty present for when I have our first baby in a few years” kinda half-jokingly, half-real, that’ll cement it in his head enough that if he wants to do something, that is what I’d like! If not, cool. I did get him a super nice gift when he got back from Iraq, teehee. But I do expect him to do all those other things around the house for me! =]. I’m already warning him he’ll be on barf bucket duty and shoe laces and stuff, cuz if I turn out to be anything like my mom, I’ll be HUGE. Our hips jut out, so there isn’t a lot of pre-built in nesting room for a baby. I honestly won’t be surprised if he’s like, “ok i’ll buy you a gift” even if it’s simpler than what I initially wanted, or if it ends up being a combined gift with my birthday or something. I’m all about the combos and we do it frequently to stretch our dollars.
I certainly would not expect a fancy watch (nice, Bellenga! =] ) or anything really really pricey. DH is really a fan of the color orange, which is why I’d like something in orange for him =]. I also got my stand mixer in orange!
Trust me, if i just wanted fancy bling, I’d go out and buy my own and he certainly knows that =].