- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
He better as heck be at my side! If he want's to look that's up to him... but otherwise, I'm glad we're going to one day give birth to a child when fathers are allowed to be present!
Yeah, I'm game for him being there. He'll be up near my head though during the pushing unless I don't care and I probably won't by that point.
I think it is great that he wants to be there! I would absolutely want my FI to be there when we have children. I think the miracle of birth is exciting and scary and overwhelming and so many other things...but I don't think that even if he does see the birth in action so to speak (read: watching the baby come out), that he will lose his sex appeal for you. Birth is a wonderful (and painful, I imagine!) event and I would want nothing more than to share that experience with my man!
Edit: By share the experience, I mean preferably by my head as well. So he is there for support, but perhaps not the full view...unless I am past the point of caring or else too preoccupied to notice that he has peeked. Hopefully we can keep it PG for all expect the doctors!
I just asked DH that and he shook his head vehemently...over and over....side to side.....
I think it's a no =]
He can stay at the head. I'd like medical professionals down there, only. Shoot, we have separate bathrooms, so yeah.
I'm with beekiss2. I definitely want him to be right next to me and the only one right next to me (all family will need to be in the waiting room). The thought of anyone I see in my daily life (including my husband) actually seeing the detailed process go down is totally not appealing to me, but who knows if at the actual moment it is happening if I'll care. I'm doubting if I'll care about anything besides getting the baby out lol
I agree with ejs and egb, by the head only, no touching or looking 'down there'.
PS. I'm pretty sure that DH would have zero interest in looking anywhere down there during that time, so I'm not really worried about it.
He will definitely be there to hold my hand and stuff, but he doesn't need to see that end of it. :-)
I'm actually in the process of filling out the forms to pre-register at the hospital, and one of them is the "birth plan" or whatever. So one question is, "Do you want a mirror?" (i.e. so YOU can see it?) I think I'm going to write "HELL NO!" beside it.
Husband will absolutely see the delivery! I'm not ashamed for him to see me like that at all.
Only Elvis had those kind of weird connection in his brain that once a woman gives birth she is only a mother and not a sexual partner Most men can't wait the typical six weeks after their wife gives birth before wanting to jump their bones.
Don't over think this. You will make yourself crazy!
By the way, they have mirrors in the delivery room so you can watch too!
After you have a baby, all sense of decorum is gone. When the time comes, you will not care who is in the room or who is watching closely.
Oh man, if anyone suggested to me that he NOT be in the room, I'd be furious. I'm really counting on him for that moral support. But I'm with the "by the head" girls.
I definitely want hubs to be in the room with me when I give birth, but we are both in agreement that he will be at my head only.
I never once questioned whether I wanted DH to witness our daughter's birth. We both agreed from day one that he'd be there and watch whatever he felt comfortable watching. In the end, he witnessed the entire birth and cut the cord. He cried and got really emotional and never once has he ever expressed any dissatisfaction with our sexual relationship as a result of having seen my nether regions in a whole new light.
Heck, I SWORE I had an "accident" on the table and messed myself while I was pushing but everyone in the room says no, I didn't. There was no "clean up" so I know they're not fibbing to me. Childbirth isn't glamorous but it's still the most beautiful thing in the world, IMO. I wouldn't want my husband to miss out on that.
And, here's the kicker...he's usually squeamish but HE ran over to the table that had the bowl with the placenta in it and photgraphed it. Yeah, a bit extreme...but to this day, everyone is interested in that darn photo. Oye!
Of course he is going to be there. I agree with the previous poster about whatever my husband sees will not be a deterant to him seeing me as his sexy wife. My FI has seen me with the worst flu I ever had and then proposed to me. He loves me no matter what. I also would like my family and friends to be there if they wanted. I am an RN so I have no qualms about people seeing me deliver. No pregnancy yet, but hopefully soon
As a nurse who saw many births during my OB rotation in school, I just wanted to say that every birth I saw the husband was always present (except for one with a teen mom). I would say almost all of them chose to watch the baby come out and cut the cord. Most of them cried as well. It's a very amazing and emotional thing, and I think the fathers really miss out on an experience if they are not there. I understand not wanting your man to see you "like that" but even the dads who seemed hesitant to look as the baby came out didn't regret it afterward. And the moms are generally so focused on pushing the baby out, they dont know or care where their husband is looking! My FH says he absolutely wants to be present but is squeemish about blood and things. It's up to him what he chooses to look at, but I definitely want to experience that special time with him. Just giving my two cents...
My husband was by my side the entire time! I didnt care where he was looking as long as he was there to support me - several hours in they had to do an emergency c-section and he held my hand through that. The doctor's even specifically told him not to look at them pulling hte baby out (apparently a lot of dad's faint when they try and watch a c-section birth) - he watched anyways! I am so glad he did because I missed the birth of my baby and to this day (my son is 2 this september) I still ask him what it looked like and what happened right away. Things happen during birth that you as the mother may not notice (you are kinda busy) and I love that my husband can fill me in. Unfortunately I missed my son being weighed and everything but my husband tells me about all of it. I am so thankful he watched everything!
Good post. My husband works in a hospital (wears scrubs - does procedures!) and is completely freaked out about 'watching'. He will definitely be there for me - but by the head. Shoot he about freaked out when I had my internal ultrasound. He wanted to leave the room and I said heck no! We're going to hear the heartbeat for the first time and you do not want to miss that! Once he figured out he could observe from around my head area he was much better.
I'm trying to encourage him to 'catch the baby' - but we'll see how it all goes down. I will have a mirror and if he doesn't catch that baby I'll give it a go! He's grossed out by the fact I want the baby placed directly on my chest before it gets cleaned up too. I have convinced him he wants to be the one to do the 'looking' and proclaim the 'sex' of the baby since we're waiting to find out. At first when I asked him he was like why do I care if the Doc says "It's A ____" or I do it... but now he's excited about that special moment.
I think like all of labor - it's a process we'll figure out while it's happening! But he will be in the room - with our Doula - encouraging me along!
i don't care where he is as long as he is there.. he has seen me through some pretty tough shit with my girl parts.. so i'm not sure it would bother him..
DH has already told me that he wants to be as involved in the birthing process as possible. I told him that might involve him "watching and catching the baby" and he was actually kind of excited at the thought!
We aren't TTC for at least a few years, but it's nice to talk about those kinds of things. :)
@jilian: This is exactly how I want to do it, too! I would LOVE for DH to be the one to say... "Oh, honey, it's a ____!!!!" What a special moment that will be. :)
not only does my husband want to be in the room with me, but he wants to see the head coming out. i'm ok with it, it's his baby too. we've already seen each other at our worst, me in crazy pain for migraines and him having a colostomy. he's my husband, it's his job to be there for me when i need him.
I just asked my hubby and he said "I wanna be up there by you....supporting you" and then I asked if he'd look and he said "I'll peek" haha :)
I made a post about this last night, but it seems to have gotten lost. I asked Mr. DG (who was there helping for the whole thing) and I said, "Did it change the way you think/feel about me?" He said "Yes, it made me love and appreciate you even more." He thought he'd be grossed out but instead was amazed. I was glad I asked!
Ahaha I remember doing this!
I desperately wanted my SO there during the delivery, by my head/side, holding my hand..
And I specifically remember saying at the critical moment "oh god, don't look. DON'T LOOK!" did he listen? No. Was he grossed out/shocked/appalled? Yes. For about 0.00092837432987 seconds, then he was holding his son and the world was all good.
Has it changed the way he looks at me/thinks about me? Not really, other than him being amazed that I was brave enough to go through with it ;)
Although there have been times that we jokingly bring it up and he admits "I didn't think it would be that gruesome." To which I just roll my eyes, LOGIC man!
I am pretty torn on this. About 10 years ago a man I worked with told me that witnessing the birth of his child was amazing but did change the way he looked at his wife. Its only what one guy said nad not one I personally find to be the kind of person whose advice I would want to follow, but it still stuck with me. At the same time, a good friend's husband who planned not to watch, said he couldn't help it and that it was the most amazing thing to witness his daughter being born.
I think in the end I will just let my husband decide what he wants - I don't want to rob him of the experience of watching his son being born although part of me really doesn't want him to see me that way!
My FI is going into school to be an EMT and with that he has to personally deliver 5 babies. Plus any babies after that when he is working. I know he will be by my side and my voice when I can't speak and the nurses or doctor is doing something I am not cool with. I have been told that witnessing the birth is how fathers bond with the child and I really can't take that experience away from my FI.
Not pregnant yet (need to get married first!), but my fiance and I have had a conversation about this before. I want him up by my head, not "down there". He agrees, I don't think he really wants to see what's going on down there during delivery!
I've never heard of a man looking at a woman differently(badly, no longer sexually attracted) after she gives birth to HIS child. Sounds kinda silly to me. I WISH my SO might be foolish like that.
My SO will be in there with me. I'd like for him to catch the baby if possible. :)
FH will have gotten many other babies when we get to that point so he darn well BETTER be down there and catching that baby. If he's done it for others, he def should be doing it for me!
@Janna19:Ok, so I'm not completely alone on this!
DH faints at the sight of blood, so he will definitely stand by my head, no baby catching for him!
A part of me wants him to be there and live this with me, and the other part, well as I said in the beginning, doesn't want him to see me in this misery!
He wants to be there so he will and I'm excited that we'll share this, but if he were to change his mind, I'd probably ask my mom to be there... she's good with helping out when it hurts, and as a mom herself, she has been through this already, you know?
My ex fainted during delivery. It wasn't the blood. He said he heard a gross snapping sound and he passed out. So, there was that fun experience.
My husband will absolutely be in delivery with me. There will be no mirrors and no peeking down there. He will stay by my head, holding my hand, telling me how awesome and beautiful I am and about the pretty, shiny things he plans to buy me, and how he's going to wash all the sheets and towels for the next two months.
I was already a mom when we started dating, so there won't be any surprises when we resume adult activities. Actually since I'm on a sex lockdown right now, he'll probably be pretty grateful to get the real thing anyway.
Hubs can be there in whatever capacity he wants. I imagine only at my head, but who knows until the time actually comes. Or, we might just adopt an older kid and not even go through that mess 
J WILL be in the room if I have anything to say about it! Whether he stays at my head (where he says he wants to be) or if he watches the whole thing, I really don't care. :-)
I definately want him in the room, but no other family or friends during the delivery part. I like some parts of me kept private.
We'll have to talk about the delivery, my initial thoughts are always no.....gross. But it is different when it's your kid. When I think of it I think he should stay by me and be supportive, who else is going to be there, everyone else is going to be ......down there. So my husband could convince me that seeing his kid born is something really important to him.
I guess it's nice to hear that it doesn't bother some guys, I've just had the bad luck of talking to guys who said they shouldn't have looked.
When I had our daughter, he was the only one in room (aside from doctors/nurses) during the delivery. There was no way i was going to have my Mom or his mom or anyone else in the room with me!
I didn't think he was going to look but, yep, he did lol. The nurse was inspecting me and said "oh,look, you can see her hair!" so he looked down and saw the hair in my vag! Haha. I was tempted to look myself but it wouldve probably made me sick.
My partner is a paramedic and has delivered 60+ babies so I'm totally comfortable with him watching.
My hubby was absolutely by my side. Him and my Mom were my support persons so they held my legs as I was pushing.
Before the birth he was sure he would stay by my head but at one point the doc had him take a look to see the head. Unfortunately, we could not continue with a vaginal birth so he didn't get to see the rest of the baby arrive. Even in the OR, the docs lowered the "veil" but he chose not to look, lol... Apparently, the floor looked much more appeasing.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| rachgirl82 | 39 |
| pengoala | 33 |
| kate02121 | 12 |
| ndreighton | 11 |
| Indecisivebride2012 | 10 |
| louiseW | 10 |
| Lyndzo | 9 |
| msdragon | 9 |
| Beckster329 | 9 |
| Joyful80 | 9 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| roxy821 | 1 |
| mommytobee | 1 |
| Beebug | 1 |
I am thinking about this...
My first thought is that no, I do not want him to see me "that way". I want him to still see me as a woman, not just a mother; and I am kind of worried that I would lose all my sex appeal to him if he is there.
BUT, the other day someone asked if he would be there and without hesitation he said he would.
I do not want to deny him this experience if he wishes to be there, since it is his child too.
So if he want to be there, he will, but near my head only; and if he changes his mind, I think I'd be ok with that...
BTW, not pregnant, just overly planning things (we already have names and know which school they will attend...)