Post # 1
I have a serious post today about one of my bridesmaids. She’s also a bride, and I will be a bridesmaid at her July wedding (mine is in December). It all seemed great at first: we have been friends since high school and we were excited to plan together. Or at least, I was excited. But as time went by, things have gotten really weird. She’s gotten super-critical of every choice I’ve made for my wedding, evne going to far as to criticize my sit-down dinner (she’s doing cake and punch) because “it’s wasteful when there are so any people starving in the world”. She wanted to wear the dress that I got her to wear as my bridesmaid for her rehearsal dinner. I never even said no; I just asked her not to post pictures on Facebook because we have a lot of mutual friends and guests. But she got angry and refused to ever talk about it again. She’s been constantly criticizing my fiance even though she barely knows him. And now, as her other bridesmaids and I are planning her shower, she keeps insisting on having it at the same place where mine’s supposed to be, even though I think it’s weird to have them both there. Honestly, I’ve gotten so fed up with the rude e-mails she’s been sending me that I don’t even want her in my wedding anymore, and I don’t want to be in hers. But I haven’t said anything because her wedding’s so close and I don’t want to ruin this time for her. I don’t really think there’s anything I can do since it’s so late in the game. I guess I just needed to vent after the 22 (yes, 22) text messages I just got.
Post # 3
It’s sad how stress either gets to some people, or brings out their true nature.
I think you are taking the high road by just carrying on with the plans that are already made as her wedding is close.
You could however re-evaluate that decision after her wedding.
Post # 4
Holy crap! I am not sure where to start, my head is spinning from all that she is doing. She sounds a little nuts, sorry I don’t mean to be rude. But there is a lot to sort out. I wouldn’t want to be in her wedding either, better yet my own at this point. If she’s taken your valuable time often to talk about things like the starving children in this world, you need to sit her down and speak to her about how she is acting… she is not acting like a true friend (imo) more like a jealous over controlling, over bearing future bride.
Post # 5
She sounds super jealous to me. It sounds like she does not have the budget or imagination to pull off her own unique wedding dreams….so she feels like squashing yours. I would go ahead and be in her wedding…If you backed out at this time, it would really be unfair to her and her family. I would seriously think about “un asking” her to participate your wedding though. All the fun, excitement and attention from her wedding will be long gone and she may be even more critical of your plans.
Post # 6
If you don’t want to look at her, be around her, whatever, how you can stand up for her at her wedding? Especially just to end the friendship later? That will hurt her worse to see you in her pictures. If you are planning to mend the friendship later then yes, take the high road but if not, you should step down.
Or even better, talk to her! Tell her she is hurting your feelings by her negativity. My dad was negative about a few things for my wedding. I finally told him that I have enough stresses about the wedding that he shouldn’t be one of them and that for every negative thing he had to think of 10 positives. He never said a bad word again. Sometimes people just don’t even realize what they’ve said and a good friend will point it out tactfully to help make them a better person.
Post # 7
I have talked to her before. There was one point where I was feeling particularly vulnerable, when my fiance and I had to postpone our wedding because we were having so many problems with my family. That was right around the time when she started acting strange. So I told her I was feeling really sad, and that some of the things she had said had hurt my feelings. She called me selfish for even bringing it up. So since then I haven’t mentioned it again. She continues to act like she was before, but worse as her wedding gets closer, and recently she’s also been doing this in front of her other bridesmaids. Now even on of the other girls is being rude.
I completely understand what Talishazwi was saying, because that’s how I’ve been feeling from my side. I really believe that our friendship is gone, and I worry that if I have pictures from my wedding standing up with her I’ll always remember that. I can only imagine that she would feel the same. I just don’t know how to tell her all this. We can’t even meet face-to-face because she’s going out of the country for a month, and then it’ll be time for her wedding.
Post # 8
If you truly believe there is no hope for your friendship, best to end it now. I know several people who had major fallings-out with their bridesmaids, and now every time they don’t even like looking at the wedding photos that have their former friends in them.
Whatever your decision, just make sure it’s one you won’t regret.
Post # 9
She sounds extremely jealous that your werdding (from the sounds of it) is going to be fancier than hers. I would try one last time to let her know thatyou’re happy and excited for her and her fiance, but that it upsets you that she seems to always have negative things to say about your wedding and fiance, and that you don’t want to lose her as a friend but feel that she is pulling way and being very negative with you. Really try to talk to her about it. And if she continues to be mean, I’d drop her as a friend and a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I always tell people to never un-ask a Bridesmaid or Best Man unless they’re ready to end the friendship, but it seems like you’re at that point.
Post # 10
Life is too short. I’m usually very cautious about calling out someone on jealousy, but is beyond obvious. Cause she can only do a cake and punch reception, she’s ragging on you? Whatever. cut her lose now. You’ve spoken about it before she should no regard for your feelings and turned it around on you. I don’t see the point to trying ot get thru to her again. The last convo should be the kiss off.