(Closed) With no wedding or engagement ring do guys presume you are fair game

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Purplefurrydice:  …on the contrary: I’ve been told by friends (and I recall reading an article somewhere, too) that when someone HAS a ring on, they are *more* likely to be approached by certain types who see it as a “challenge”.

Post # 4
Hostess
3371 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@badabing88:  +1. There’s some people who don’t care whether you’re single, engaged, or even married. They’ll still try. I work in a restaurant and deal with customers hitting on me on a daily basis, it’s just something that I’ve learned to take with a grain of salt and brush off. Try not to let it upset you, take it as a compliment! Even though I do agree it’s disrepectful to hit on a person, even if they’re not visibly in a relationship. 

Post # 5
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Purplefurrydice:  Trust me, an e-ring will not ward off many if any of the unwanted attention. I don’t think many men even notice jewellery on women. My FI never “checked” for a ring on a woman he was interested in. 

 

Post # 6
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

even with an engagement guys will still hit on you. the whole they want what they cant have bit. and theres also the technical ‘well shes not married’ outlook. ive heard this view from different guys. so you wouldnt be in the clear completely. i would just ignore it. 

Post # 7
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Personally I think you’re just seeing it that way BECAUSE you’re waiting, so it feels like all these things are happening because you don’t have a ring. Not the truth.

Post # 8
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Most men won’t notice a ring at first, and some super classy dudes will see it and not care. 

I have noticed that some guys will back off more quickly if I refer to my fiance instead of just boyfriend.  Again that is usually just the creepier guys.  The decent guys will drop at the first mention of not being available.

Post # 9
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The skirt comment would have set me off.  To me, being told you should avoid wearing skirts to avoid male attention is way too similar to being told you should wear a burqa to avoid male attention. 

Maybe some men should just learn to not be d***s to women Tongue Out

Post # 10
Member
9394 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Men will still hit on you with an engagement or wedding ring.  As will some women towards married men.  Some people just don’t care. I was hit on during vacation last month pretty hardcore by some guy…even after I told him I was engaged.

I also don’t think men look for rings like women tend to do.

Post # 11
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Know what? One time when I first got engaged, I was out grabbing some takeout and this guy asked for my number. I couldn’t be bothered, but didn’t really want to ignore him, so I just flashed my hand and said I’m married. He stopped me and said, “shorty that’s an engagement ring! where’s the other one!!!” I was embarassed because I never should have lied, but I died laughing at the fact that he noticed my ring and decided to holla anyway, reasoning that since I’m only wearing one ring I must be fair game! LOL.

Post # 12
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’ve thought it before. I was at a bar WITH SO. A guy came up to me, and I pointed out my SO. He was just at another table and he said “oh so you’re fair game”….I just laughed and shook my head

Post # 13
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Guys don’t care either way, they’ll hit on you while you’re having sex with your husband (joke exaggeration, but seriously…I’ve had guys say “So, I have a gf, so what?” it’s really sick…). It does make it a bit quicker to shut them down by just flashing the bling and then the respectable ones will just back down, but no, it doesn’t stop them.

Post # 14
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Guys considered me fair game before, and they consider me fair game now. I have to actually tell them, “No thank you, I’m married,” as I flash my rock for them to realize I’m a happy married woman 😉

Post # 15
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Purplefurrydice:  Honestly, its not the skirt, its the fact that you are female. You could wear a burlap sack to work and still attract attention. The issue is not you, its that other people can’t keep their thoughts to themselves.

Post # 16
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Neither, I got hit on before the ring, and I’m just as likely to get hit on with it. 

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