- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2008
I am now among the brave and elite ranks of the medical spouses!! Fiance got his first med school acceptance this past week (we’re still waiting to hear from a few more schools before we know for sure whe’re we’ll go). I am so proud of him, and have posted on here before about his journey to med school, my fears, and how our relationship will change and evolve as he becomes a doctor.
Of course, until last week, this was still all hypothetical, all ‘what ifs’, all ‘oh, that would never happen to us’, and some ‘maybe it won’t happen after all’. Now that he is definitely going next fall, it’s time for me to get serious about what to expect….and about what I can contribute.
So, for you wives or spouses that have gone through this or are going through this…what advice can you offer? I am slowly but surely coming to terms with how much truth there really is about how little time I’ll have with him, how much studying he really will have to do, how much effort I’ll have to put into acclimating to a new place and cultivating my own life outside of his (otherwise I’d do nothing but work and sit around the house with our dog, waiting for a few spare minutes he has!). I’m feeling prepared, but there is so much I still am unsure about.
I don’t ever want to make him feel like he’s lacking in what he has time or energy to contribute at home (be it chores, other ‘honey dos’, or time we have to spend together). But I want to make sure I emphasize that time needs to be made for the two of us whenever possible. How can I do this without seeming smothering, overbearing, or demanding?
As for school…do any of you contribute to your spouse’s study habits? Help him make flashcards, or practice exames, or anything like that? I imagine that this could be something I’d love to contribute to him, and if nothing else it would help me spend a bit more time with him and also get a glimpse into his med life…is that too far fetched??
Alot to think about, and I’d really appreciate your tips on how to maintain happiness and fulfillment as the ‘non medical spouse’, a healthy marriage, a well-rounded personal life, and other contributions that can take some of the load off of him.
How demanding do I soudn?!? 😉