- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Three months ago, I had the sit-down with my parents. They asked me how much I could do my wedding for and I showed them the budget for 15k. They said, “We can do that,” and wrote my a check for 3k so I could put down the first deposit.
We’re having a ‘destination’ wedding in Vermont (his family lives there, not mine), so we have a contract that rents us the whole inn and provides dinner for our weekend in October. After getting quotes from 87 vendors (no exaggeration), I have sitting on the table next to me, the contracts for our photographer, musicians, tent, chairs, and dance floor, flowers, and the photo of the dress that I tried on and loved. But they’re not signed. Why?
Yesterday, I went holiday shopping with my parents. When we leave one of the stores, I slide up to my dad and ask him very politely for the next “wedding injection” so I can put deposits down. He says, “I already gave you all the money.” I replied, “Well, that was to reserve the inn. I sent you an email last month saying I would need more for December and would that be ok, and you said yes.” And he said, “Haven’t I given you all seven?”
“Yeah, your mom and I were paying for half, and ** and you were going to pay the other half. OMG, L., did you think we were giving you 15k? That’s a 7k mistake! You’re in deep. Let’s ask your mom.”
So we wait for my mom to come out of the store and she agrees with my dad, and I’m just left standing there with a smile on my face feeling pretty numb. We come home and my dog has gotten out and peed on my mom’s furniture, which did not go over well. I called my ** on the way home and told him that we were only getting 7k and not 15k, and that didn’t go well either (he’s very aggressive, i’m very passive).
Had I heard that they were only paying half, I wouldn’t have booked this inn. 7k is still very generous and I’m grateful that they would offer it, but I had budgeted and had all these contracts for 15k. ** is livid that they ‘retracted’ their offer citing quotes from them like, “15k. That’s a down-payment. You should elope and spend it on a house instead.”
Honestly, I’d be happy just going to Canada for a weekend with him and eloping with just ourselves. He says his family will hate him (his parents have both been driving me nuts with ‘suggestions’ and feel hurt for being uninvolved-a whole ‘nother story) and that’s not going to work. I agreed to a VT wedding because that’s what he wanted and I didn’t care how it went down. He thinks my parents have now deprived us of the ‘wedding of our dreams’ and is exuding animosity and has already called his parents to see if they can put up money (which I asked him not to do) and I’m mortified [his family struggles, and mine, well, doesn’t].
I feel so lost. I’m torn between my fiance and my parents, I need to scrounge up 7k, which could happen, but we’d have to put life on hold for the next five years and I don’t think it’s worth it. We already have a bare-bones guest list. I can cancel the inn, but we’d have no other place to do it. Our wedding is on the busiest weekend in south-central VT and everything’s already booked. I number crunched a lower package, but it still only saves us 1k. I don’t know what to do.
Y’all are good at coming up with ideas. Can you give me any advice, or a hug? (Big hug)