- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
SO I am a brand spankin newly engaged bee (last Sunday) and I’m just so happy to BE ENGAGED that I sort of forgot that I GET TO HAVE A WEDDING NOW!
Here’s my situation…there is a woman at my work who means well but just drives everyone insane. She’s my mom’s age and they work together (she drives her crazy too). She has a very abrasive and judgmental personality and can be incredibly nosy. I still think she means well as a person (which is why we’re nice to her), she just can’t keep her mouth shut and, as a result, she makes people feel so uncomfortable. She drives all her friends away because she’s constantly negative and overbearing. For example, I never gave her my phone number but she got it out of the system at work (obviously against policy) and started texting me. WHen I didn’t reply, she called me and left me a nasty voicemail about being ignored.
I explained to her that it’s not appropriate to be calling me and leaving me messages like that. I explained that, outside of work, I have very little free time and I only see my fiance (ahh!!! yay) 16 days out of the month because we work different shifts (I’m a nurse). I told her that when I’m not at work, I spend my free time with my fiance, family, and my friends. I thought this would be enough hinting that I don’t want to hang out with her or be friends with her aside from being professional and friendly at work.
Well, when she heard I was engaged (we work inthe same department), she was nice but gave me all sorts of rules I “have to follow” and things I “can’t do”. This was to be expected. I was gracious and thanked her for her suggestions but let her know that I’m not even planning yet and I want to enjoy being engaged. Well, today I got to work and she called to tell me I had an email. When I checked it, I almost died. She literally asked me to include her in my wedding.
Are you flipping for real?!?!?!?!!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She also asked me when I could do an engagement party and gave me the dates that work for her saying how she wanted to be a part ofthis special day with me and my mom. Mind you, my mom is in the same boat as me but we try to be nice because we know she means well. We haven’t hung out with her outside of work and when she brings it up, we explain the same thing I said above.
I don’t know how to even handle this…I responded as nicely as I could using what previous bees have suggested in other posts such as, “I really appreciate your support and enthusiasm! I’m really enjoying just being engaged and don’t want to stress out with planning just yet. That being said, we did a preliminary guest list of just our families and we are already over 100 guests so we don’t know what we’re doing about our close friends and work friends yet. I know we will have a lot of tough decisions to make but we decided not to think about our guest list until we have a venue and a max capacity. Thank you again for your support!”
Now I’m feeling so uncomfortable at work because I don’t know how she’s going to take it– which is absolutely ridiculous since it’s a rude question to ask! She KNOWS it’s out of line as well because she even put at the bottom “p.s. Please don’t tell anyone about this email”…
I’m so sorry this post has to be a rant and I really hope I don’t get flamed for sounding like a jerk. I just want to know how bees graciously respond to flat out requests from people they weren’t planning on inviting. Is this a normal thing?
Thank you for any insight or help you can give me!