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wondering what to put on invites so no one shows up in costume

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
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    Newbee
    queenhoneeybee    October 31, 2011   maine

    my wedding date is oct. 31st.  i don't want it to be an all out costume party-i want elegance, not a mockery.  i don't know what i should put on invites or not put on invites.  i would assume that if i didn't have a sentence saying come in costume-people would get the hint. 

     
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    Busy bee
    lisalew5472    September 29, 2012   Friendswood, TX

    OMG I would never show up at a wedding in costume unless prompted to do so - even if it were on Halloween (wow what fun!). Just treat everything normally. Those that wonder will call and ask.

     
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    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    I would never show up at a halloween wedding in a halloween costume unless it said specifically on the invitation that it was meant to be a costume party - even then I'd feel like an idiot.

     
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    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    avoid the color scheme of black and orange on your invites :-) that is the first step!

    (my real answer is that unless you write costumes on there, no one will wear one - no one wants to be that a$$hole wearing a bumblebee suit in a room full of tuxedos and gowns)

     
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    Busy bee
    jadeblue    July 31, 2010   Western Massachusetts

    Yeah, I can't imagine people would automatically assume it's a costume party just because it's on 10/31. I would never wear a costume to a 10/31 wedding unless it were explicitly specified that I should do so. At most, I'd wear a pin or a scarf in Halloween or fall theme, but even that...I don't know. No one wants to be the only one in costume at a non-costume party.

     
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    Sugar bee
    mishelleez    November 5, 2010   DW- Bahamas

    I would stay away from any orange & black!

    And do you have a wedding website? maybe put it on there!

     
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    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    I agree with the PPs - no one will wear a costume so there is no need to put anything on the invites about it.

     
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    Jacqi    February 28, 2009  

    Do you want people to dress up a little? Like a masquerade ball?

    I agree with the PP's that people wont automatically think an event on Halloween is a costume party, especially if it is a wedding.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    skibobrown    July 31, 2010   CA (wedding in Bar Harbor, ME)

    Maybe just include a dress code either on your invitations or on your wedding website.  Say "cocktail attire" or "black tie optional" if that's what you want.  Then people will understand to just dress like they normally do for a wedding, and not to wear a costume!

     
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    Bumble bee
    shaydenise    October 30, 2010  

    You really shouldn't put anything and trust that adults will actually act like adults (hence dress like adults) at a social setting.  Unless your telling people it's a Halloween wedding, I don't see why people would show up in costumes? (If we're going to go all Emily Post, the only time it's really okay to write a dress code is if you say black-tie or black tie optional lol).  Good luck!

     
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    camrie    September 5, 2010   Louisville

    I think your invites will set the mood. If they had a distinctly Halloween feel to them then I could see why you'd be worried but really I don't think most people would even consider dressing up (in fact on Four Weddings a bride had a Halloween wedding and ASKED people to dress up but no one did). I think most people would avoid it because they'd be concerned they'd be the only one in costume.

     
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    Newbee
    queenhoneeybee    October 31, 2011   maine

    @jacqi-just dressing up for a wedding.  i don't even want jeans lol!  maybe for reception for dancing so people can get down lol. 

    thanks everyone for the advice.  i appriciate it very, very much!  x

     
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    cvbee    August 13, 2010   canada

    word of mouth---have your FMIL and mom spread the word

     
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    Ember78    December 15, 2012  

    Invites should never mention a dress code. Also, the bride and groom cannot dictate the attire without being rude. That said, word of mouth is the best route.

     
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    Goldilocks1107    September 2010   Madison, WI

    I agree with "Cocktail attire" or "Black Tie Optional"

     
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    Marinara    08/14/2010   San Francisco, CA

    I think that as long as your invites are not at all "Halloween-y" (including color scheme, graphics, motif, language, etc) then nobody will even consider showing up in costume.  I agree with other posters that invites shouldn't mention dress code.

     
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    Laylabelle    November 7, 2009  

    @Goldilocks1107: I agree with goldilocks, I'd list it. It's nice to assume that your guests will automatically understand something, but in all honesty, they won't. They'll do stupid things, like text you an hour before your wedding, asking you for directions. Seriously, people just don't think. Sometimes you have to spell it out for them and since you're having a wedding on a holiday where people dress up in costume, I think it would be more than appropriate to list "cocktail attire" on your invites so that they understand it's not a costume party. :)

     

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