Post # 1
I’m posting this in Etiquette even though I’m not really sure it’s an etiquette question.
So, I have had the same “housekeeper” for about 16 years. I put it in quotes because she’s a paid employee, but she’s also a friend. We call her Auntie, she takes care of our cats, she knows my mom. She was with me all through the slow-motion train wreck of my first marriage/divorce, and she has known my FI almost as long as I have. They have the same taste in music. One of my biggest fears in life is that she’ll decide to retire. She’s like Mrs. Hughes if Mrs. Hughes were West Indian instead of British.
But I can’t decide whether to invite her to the wedding or not. Mostly, it’s because she will not know anyone else there besides me, FI, and my mom, and we’ll all be running around. She’s single (her husband died a few years ago), so there’s no SO for her to bring. Am I overthinking this? Advice?
Post # 3
@geekspice: I would invite her, she is a family friend. Let her decide if she is comfortable going alone.
Post # 4
I think you should invite her – it would probably mean so much to her! She may or may not decide to attend (due to the things you mentioned above), but at least the gesture was made.
Post # 5
Definitely invite her. She can go with a friend, a son or daughter?, a neighbor, or just hang out with your family
Post # 6
@geekspice: Invite her, give her a +1 (she must have friends!) and put her at a table where she might have something to talk about. I’m sure knowing you and being around you for so long she must be excited you’re getting married. I would def want her there if I were you.
Post # 7
You should invite her. It sounds like you’re even close enough that it might be perceived as a bit of a slight if you DON’T invite her.
Post # 8
I voted for ice cream, but I agree with PPs–invite her!
Post # 9
I have a similar situation and we are inviting her! We have known her for 15+ years and since I don’t live with my parents, and haven’t for 8 years, she doesn’t seem like an employee to me. I agree with the PP that she will probably be really upset if you don’t invite her!
Post # 10
Yes, I think you absolutely should invite her. You said it yourself: she is part of your family. I understand that you are concerned about her being without a SO, but that’s okay at wedddings, I wouldn’t think too much of it.
Post # 11
@geekspice: Invite her and sit her at the same table as your mom.
Post # 12
i think that she would be honoured to receive an invite to your wedding. would you consider offering her a +1 to invite a close friend so that she is not alone?
Post # 13
If she is important to you and your family then invite her. I am inviting the person who clemuted my parents old house because we became close.
Post # 14
Etiquette Snob here.
You guys obviously have a long term relationship… it would be a slight if you didn’t invite her.
Infact, I’d hand her her Wedding Invite in person (all addressed and all, just not stamped)… and tell her how happy it would make you if she was there on your big day.
AND I’d give her a plus one… and let her know she can bring whomever she wishes (a case where writing AND GUEST on the outer envelope is very acceptable). Then she can bring a Date, a friend, a relative… whomever she wants.
Classy way to handle this.
Hope this helps,
PS… With a Plus One, you don’t have to worry so much where to sit her (especially if everyone she knows is gonna be busy… plus if you are having a formal wedding set up… Parent’s Table etc… then you won’t have to stress about having to place “a single” there)
Post # 15
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
The answer is obvious so i voted ice cream
Post # 16
Wow. I think this might be the first time I have ever seen a unanimous poll around here. Thanks for all the feedback, folks!