Post # 1
how would i word (on our wedding website, and on the menu cards on the night of) that the bar is free beer & wine only, but cash for everything else?
i would like to indicate it somehow so that if they desired, guests can prep by bringing cash for hard/mixed drinks
please, no debate on the open bar vs. cash bar issue…
Post # 3
@sugarcube: “beer and wine provided. other bar options available at cost” Hm. Not sure that’s it…
Post # 4
@sugarcube: I’ve seen it as “beer and wine compliments of the bride and groom” before.
Post # 5
Etiquette Snob here… lol
The place to put this info (if anywhere) is on your Website, preferably on a page where you highlight other food elements to be found at the Reception, and with signage on the Bar at the Wedding…
Emphasis the positive… “Complimentary Beer & Wine”
You can add… “with Dinner”, if it is only going to be available then.
If it is all night long, then no need to add a timeframe.
Also, no need to mention who is buying… or what isn’t covered.
Keep it simple and classy.
Hope this helps,
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
I am offering unlimited wine/coffee/tea/juice but everything else is cash bar. I worded it “join us for a wine and hors d’oeuvre reception following the ceremony” on our wedding website. It is common in Canada to do a variation of this so I am not worried.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’m with @This Time Round. Make note only on the website and at the bar and focus on what you are offering, not what you aren’t.
Even better, serve just the beer and wine and nix the guest-paid upgrades. You’re extending them something very lovely as the host by providing beer and wine.
Post # 8
We had a cash bar, but free water, pop, and juice. We also provided an alcoholic punch and wine for dinner and then ended up leaving all that out after dinner too. The rest was cash bar. I just wrote “cash bar” on the invitation so guests came with cash (no ATM anywhere close to the venue). I have personally have no problems seeing that and then finding out at the reception that some drinks are offered. That way at least I’m prepared.
The only thing that I see could be a potential issue (and minor at that) with @This Time Round: ‘s advice is if guests like drinking liquor but didn’t bring cash because they didn’t know it was offered. Personally, I can’t drink beer and unfortunately wine doesn’t end well for me, so I would like to know that other options are available at a cash bar so I can come prepared. Especially if there are no ATMs anywhere near your venue.
Post # 9
OP, I have to agree with @This Time Round:
Post # 10
@sugarcube: HI! I’m gonna throw in my 2 cents! I think what you’re doing is a great idea! I like “beer and wine compliments of the bride and groom” maybe posted on the bar, and either on the invite and/or website. It’s really great that you’re giving your guests options!
The reason I say this, is because I went to a wedding in june at a winery. I had NO IDEA we had to pay for alcohol. No one told us. There was no ATM. The nearest ATM was a 20 minute drive and we had used their shuttle option – SO WE COULD DRINK. This was infuriating. The only reason we got to drink is because we caught the person running the winery before they went home and they let us put $100 through on debit so we could have $100 cash from their till. Honestly I don’t drink beer, and the wine they had was crap wine. So I had their “signature drink” which was basically champagne & orange juice with a bit a blue curoco. Not bad, but I got sick of them fast. I would have paid double for a vodka slime hahaha
Post # 11
@mrsSonthebeach: I think thats a bad idea. I love to drink at weddings. But myself, and a lot of people I know prefer a cocktails. I was really dissapointed going to the first beer/wine wedding. It was just annoying.
Post # 12
To @sourcandy: I 100% see your POV…
BUT in reality the old Rule of Etiquette “Thou Shall Not Mention Money” still is a tried & true aspect when it comes to Weddings (including Wedding Websites)
In reality, most Guests aren’t going to come totally empty handed… people are going to bring a Purse / Wallet as most people don’t travel around without ID etc… and a CC will be close by.
And if we are to be truly “strict” about Etiquette (just putting this out there as I know all these rules)… a Guest is meant to enjoy what is provided graciously. If they don’t like it, then it is up to them how they wish to handle it… even if that means leaving early to head out elsewhere for a “I absolutely gotta have a drink” sort of situation.
Post # 14
@This Time Round: Fair enough. I would be appreciative of whatever was served to me, don’t get me wrong. But seeing as OP is going to have the option of liquor, as a guest I would love to know this ahead of time so I can come prepared. I always bring cash to a wedding, but just from the Bee I see that many people seem to go to weddings with no money. I would be more frustrated having to go get cash afterwards (I know I wouldn’t have to, but I certainly would if I found out liquor was available and we were planning on partying all night) than be annoyed with invitation wording.
I’m also from a pretty relaxed area where cash bars (wine with dinner) are the norm and aren’t even mentioned in invitations. (We mentioned it because we were nowhere near any ATMs and we had guests who weren’t all used to the implied cash bar thing).
Ultimately I would prefer to know what the options will be. Simply stating “cash bar” is short and to the point and guests get the pleasant surprise of receiving certain complimentary drinks once they get to the reception, but I get that etiquette doesn’t seem to agree with me. Anyway, that’s my two cents.
Post # 15
To @sourcandy: fair enough. As I’ve said on WBee before, I am only the “Etiquette Snob” on here lol because I know all the crazy rules… I also let Brides know that they are free to break them as long as they understand that usually means taking a risk / consequence (but only they know their Guests & Social Circle)
In your situation, you make a good point if the venue is somewhere far from an ATM, or is the type of place that ONLY takes Cash (no Debit or Credit).
I’d still be reluctant to put that info out there (Wedding Website), just because of the fact that it “mentions money”… so I might in that case use the old Wedding Stand-by and get the word out via word of mouth.
As long as the info isn’t come from the Bride & Groom, or either of their families (ie Parents) this would be an ok thing to do (ie this is a case where the Bridal Party can spread the word… “Can’t wait to see you at the Wedding. Don’t forget the Wedding is at the ABC Winery… so there will be Wine Served all evening… and a Cash Bar too”)
Lol, then again, like yourself, I am from Canada, and where Cash Bars are more the norm here… so I wouldn’t blink if someone told me that. Then again, I cannot imagine going to anywhere without ID and my Debit / CC. Even my smallest of Evening Bags can carry those along with a tube of lipstick and some breath mints.
Post # 16
thanks for the suggestions! i took @This Time Round: ‘s advice and wrote “complimentary wine and beer will be provided” on the wedding website, next to the dinner selections (i wrote out the full descriptions of the three entree choices). thank you!