Post # 1
Hello fellow bees! My FI and I have a wedding website and although we have put some items on our registry, there isn’t very much we want/need. Plus with 110 guests, the rule to register for at least double that amount is insane. So I am keeping the few items on the registry and maybe having my mom tell close family to refer to that list if they want for the shower.
So what are your thoughts on this wording for our wesbite (not invites): “In lieu of boxed gifts, we would appreciate any contribution to our “student loan fund.”
Long story short, we are military and will not be buying a home any time soon or taking a fancy honeymoon. I have a good amount of student loan debt from graduate school (~$60K), so I want people to feel like they are contributing towards something.
Any suggestions for the wording for our website? P.s. We do NOT want to use a money “registry” website. We want to avoid all fees and rather have people bring checks or cash to avoid the fees.
Post # 3
Yeah…there is no polite way to say this.
I suggest you put nothing about gifts or a registry on the website and spread the word through your mom that money is prefered. People will usually get the picture.
Post # 4
Nope. Just don’t register.
Post # 5
Oh Lordy… not this again.
Post # 6
Oh no, you didn’t just say that you want people to contribute to paying YOUR student loans?!?!
Post # 7
@Rubbs: Hahaha. I just snorted.
Post # 9
In Australia, ‘wishing wells’ are very common, and I can’t remember the last time I got something off a registry.
So just say that a wishing well will be provided.
DO NOT mention student loans.
Post # 11
I think it’s really regional. I got married in the South and most of guests preferred to give gifts. That being said, if you need money that badly I wouldn’t count on it from the wedding. We spent far more than we received. Weddings aren’t meant to be a moneymaking venture.
Post # 12
I would really not do this at all. You shouldn’t assume you are getting anything, let alone cash to pay off your debts. As a guest, I’d question why you were having a wedding if you owe a yearly salary in debt. This would not sit right with me at all.
Post # 13
This topic has been discussed a lot here on the Bee. The usual “safe” suggestion is to register for only a few items and spread that you’d prefer cash gifts by word of mouth. If they’re important enough to you to be invited to your wedding, there has to be someone who can give them a verbal heads up. Tell your family and wedding party to spread the news if anyone asks what to get you.
A lot of the people I know would not be happy to be told to give cash, not matter how the request is worded.
Post # 14
Don’t say anything about wanting money. If you don’t register anywhere, people will figure it out.
Post # 15
I can’t answer you poll as we never asked for cash. As a matter of fact we never asked for any gifts of any sort.
We didn’t have a registry as it is a second marriage for both. All of the gifts we did receive were cash or checks as people were able to deduce for themselves that we didn’t need any more “stuff”.
Post # 16
If I saw that on your wedding website, I’d be giving you a toaster.