Post # 1
I don’t mind people taking pictures and uploading on facebook or IG. I just don’t want them taking pictures of groom and I, groom or his family and upload to facebook. They can take pics of themselves, the wedding, me or me with them. But its groom and his family who I am worried about. They are very private people, lawyers, work in government, have jobs and life styles that can not be on social media.
I just want to find a way to word this on invites without sounding like a facebook-hater or feel like I’m dictating them not to take pictures and do what they please on fb or ig. I’ll also do word-of-mouth but just want it to be clear. Just groom and his family is off limits. They can take pictures of me all they want! haha
Post # 4
I think word of mouth is the best way to approach this. Spread it around that your FH’s family is private and, at the wedding, has asked that no pictures of them are posted on FB or IG. I just really don’t think it belongs on the invite.
Post # 5
@echolove: Definitely don’t write about it on your actual invites. I’d put it on a reception card or wedding website.
“Due to the nature of their livelihoods, the groom and his family request that no guest pictures of them are uploaded to any social media site. We sincerely thank you for your cooperation and understanding.”
ETA: I think word of mouth is best. Also, will it be clear to all of your guests who is related to FI (in other words, who is off limits)?
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@echolove: Not appropriate for putitng on the invitation itself. Look around for signs to put out at the ceremon/reception and/or an additional card to put in the invitation envelope with your request. However, at the end of the day people are going to want to take pictures of you, your groom, and the bridal party and there really isn’t much you can do about it other than lock down your Facebook so they can’t tag you in photos without your permission. It won’t keep them from uploading them to FB on their timeline though.
Post # 7
I’ll do word of mouth. I was thinking of just adding a card with the invite saying about the facebook situation. I was trying to look up apps where guest can just share their pictures there, but they are all connected to an online wedding site. Anything online has to be off limits. But maybe I’ll just explain that picture are allowed as long as groom or his family are not in them for fb or ig. But I would love them to send me them thru personal email, txt…?
Does anyone know a good wedding app where guest can upload pictures there, instead of uploading our pics on fb?
Post # 8
@echolove: I’m not sure you can tell people what they can and cannot post, but you could always put up a sign like this:
Post # 9
Post # 10
Honestly, you can’t tell people where they can and can’t post pictures. I say mention it to a few people and ask them to spread the word, but theres no way you can actually control what they do.
Post # 11
I don’t think you can dictate what pictures people take or what they do with them.
If you’re that concerned, make your tagged pictures hidden so no one can see them unless you want them to.
If your FI’s family members have lives that cannot be on social media, then they need to behave in a way that if a photo of them were to be put on it, they would not be caught doing anything inappropriate.
I can’t imagine what they would possibly do at a wedding that would be deemed inappropriate if a picture were snapped of it.
Or, have a completely unplugged wedding and ask that no pictures be taken.
Post # 12
I honestly have never met anyone or heard of anyone who had a job that prohibited them from having pictures taken and then posted on social media. I would be wondering what their jobs could possibly be that they can’t have pictures taken. It’s not like they will be doing anything incriminating (hopefully).
I would just casually ask the specific friends and family members who do upload to facebook not to upload any pictures. You can always ask them to remove the pictures if they do post them. It’s not like FI’s family will be tagged or anything if they don’t have accounts.
Post # 13
this is tricky. is everyone going to know exactly who is in the groom’s family? what if someone is in the background. i think having a offline wedding is a better option, using the sign posted above.
Post # 14
Just how secretive does this side of the family need to be? Like, if 2 of your girlfriends take a selfie and FIL happens to be in the background…is that ok? If not, maybe you have a “coat check” for cameras and a sign saying not to use smart phones to post either.
I know someone who does undercover work who’s in the same positiong, but I’m not sure of the severity of the nature of their work.
Post # 15
I don’t expect everyone to understand why its important that him and his family not be in the social media or not trying to explain why. I’m just trying to get advice on how, where and wording of the situation.
Thank you for some of your suggestions 🙂
I guess the best thing is word of mouth and explain pics of any kind are fine, as long as groom or his family are not uploaded on fb or ig. I know people like taking random pics of groom and bride together, with their families… Those are greatly appreciated, in ptivate. So maybe I can set up a private email or wedding app where they can send me those pic without adding to facebook?
Post # 16
We didn’t put this on our invite, but it is on the wedding website. We put up the cute little graphic about it being an unplugged wedding and added the following blurb:
“We want you to be able to really enjoy our wedding day, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We’ve hired an amazing wedding photographer named [photographer name] who, along with his/her assistant photographer, will be capturing the way the wedding looks — and we’re inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels. We’re respectfully asking that everyone consider leaving all cameras and cell phones off and refraining from posting to social media sites, such as Facebook and Twitter. Of course, we will happy to share our wedding photos with you afterward!”
If you like, you can also have the officiant make a quick, sweet announcement before the ceremony and/or add it to the program. We only had a few make it onto FB (of the two of us, specifically) and we nicely told them to please take it down.