Weddingbee boards

A lot of etiquette books and sites will tell you that you don't use the name of the deceased on the invitation.  You can use it on the announcement, or in the program, but not on the invitation.  In practical terms, I think what they mean is that someone who is no longer living cannot host the event - so if your invitation is going to read:

Mrs. BridesMother requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her daughter... (mother hosting)

there is no way to include your late father(s).  If you're going to word your invitation such that you and your FI host, you can reference someone who is deceased:

Bride, daughter of Mrs. Bridesmother and the late Mr. Bridesfather, and Groom, son of Mr. and Mrs. Groomsparents, request the honor of your presence...

I'm sorry, but I can't think of any way to reasonably include both a deceased father and stepfather on an invitation without it getting pretty confusing.  You can, of course, list as many fathers as you like in the ceremony program, as a way to honor them.

And honestly, I would ask your mother what she would like.  My husband's father is deceased, and his mother did not want her late husband's name on the invitation.  She told us:  "It's sad enough that he can't be here, without the invitation being a reminder of that every time I look at it."  So our invitations read as:

Mr. and Mrs. Bridesparents request the pleasure of your company at marriage of their daughter, Bride, to Groom, son of Mrs. GroomsMother...

And there is nothing wrong with that.  Obviously, everybody knows that he had a father.  All his family, and most of mine, also knew that he father was deceased.  It doesn't look odd in any way to have just the single living parent listed.