Post # 1
Ok, tell me your thoughts on this one. I ordered me wedding invatations and I did not include our parents names on them because my fiance and I are paying for the wedding. My mother was very insulted by this, if she is insulted than my fiances mother will be fuming because my mother is usually very very easy going. They are helping us with some stuff but we are paying for majority of it.
I already bought and have them in my possession, however I am rethinking ordering new ones and including them on them. What are your thoughts girls?
Post # 3
Its too bad that your Mom is upset about this. Maybe see if your fiance’s mother actually is upset? She might surprise you.
FH and I are paying for everything on our own, but we included our parents names on the invitations anyway.
Seems like a pain to have to order new invitations though. Sorry!
Post # 4
Wow that’s tough. Weddings are expensive enough without having to redo anything. How about a special acknowledgement in your wedding program or presenting them with a flower or something in the ceremony???
Post # 5
If you can afford to reorder them with your parents names on them then I probably would. Even if they aren’t contributing much financially, they’re probably at least offering emotional support and advice. If it’s that important to your mother and possibly your FI’s mother, then it’s really not worth causing family drama and hurt feelings.
Post # 6
I am also torn on this as well. My parents said they are going to help us with the wedding and have as much as they can. We will still be putting probably about 95% of it ourselves. Of course every little bit helps. I didnt want to put only my parents and have FI’s dad (his mom passed away) feel bad so we are wording it like H, the daughter of blah blah & L, the son of blah blah would like you to blah blah.
I like the idea of making something in the programs. Just in case its more money to reprint new ones.
Post # 7
What were the reasons your mom was hurt? Or, was she offended because she expected to be on it? Is she the type that will keep it forever and it will bother her every time she sees it?
Honestly, I wouldn’t reorder. You aren’t going to make everyone happy with your wedding decisions.
DH and I paid for the wedding ourselves, but we included our parents names on it… we did “daughter of…” and “son of…” vs. the traditional hosting wording.
Post # 8
I hate to be so cut-and-dry but an invitation is there to inform. It gives the guests the necessary information about the event. I know that it has some sentimental meaning, but that’s not its first purpose. Sorry to sound kind of bitchy, but I don’t know another way to put it: it’s not about telling your guests that you love your parents. It tells you a) who is hosting b) who the honoree is c)when, where, why etc. So, even if your parents did offer emotional support and love, at the end of the day, if they’re not hosting this particular event and they’re not the honorees, their names do not have to go on the invite.
Personally, I think it’s a waste of money to purchase new ones, but if it means harmony in your family, then go ahead. But you might try composing a really heartfelt paragraph and showing it to your mother and explaining it will go on the program. Maybe that will appease her.
Post # 9
Thanks Girls! I talked to both of them regarding the invatations and my mother DOES not want me to order new ones. She was slightly hurt but nothing she will ever hold on to. My Fml said it does not bother her at all, so I think I will keep them as they are unless it really picks my brain and I change my mind. Thank you
Post # 10
Weddings just bring out some strong emotions with people! Our parents did not contribute financially to the wedding, and we did not put their names on the invitations. They did not care, but I could easily see parents caring about that kind of thing.
Post # 11
To each his/her own, but I do agree with JennyW1. I was initially trying to cram all the info of my parents and his parents into the invite, and then I realized that I don’t really need it.We are paying for the wedding, so just our names and the info about our wedding will be included on the invite.
I do like Cheeks11’s idea though.. maybe honor them somewhere in the ceremony if you want to do something special for them!