Post # 1
Now before I start, I want to say I have NO issue with giving money as a wedding gift. Its easy for me to do and I know its only being asked for as its needed (in this case the couple just built a house and are planning on moving in after the wedding and the money will more than likely pay for things like putting down retic and a lawn)
We got the invite and inside was a little note with a poem (havent got it on me as I am at work, I was just thinking about it an decided to post). Poem was fine except for the last line that said ‘but if it is a gift you have bought, please be assured we love the thought’
For some reason it really got under my skin! Telling someone you ‘love the thought’ is like saying ‘well, I didnt ask for it, but I dont want to be rude so I will accept your gift anyway’… am I being a bit silly here? By all means let me know if I am! I just cant help feeling like its a bit rude. What if someone already bought them something knowing the wedding was coming up? If I did I would feel really bad knowing I got them something they dont want.
Post # 3
It depends, you will have to post the entire peom.
Post # 4
I think any request asking for money is rude, in rhyming form or not. I’ve seen ones like you’ve got too that have some kind of “but if you give us something else that’s totally fine” disclaimer at the end. So I don’t think you’re being silly for being put out.
We got money as gifts from a lot of people without asking for it, so I maintain that people will give cash if they want and you don’t have to go so far as to ask 🙂
Post # 5
Umm I feel exactly the opposite. To say you’d only like money and leaving those screwed who bought gifts is far worse IMO.
Post # 6
ugh these cutesy begging poems are so GROSS, why does anyone do them?
I agree with you about that last line. I agree with vmec that it’s not *quite* as bad as putting “monetary gifts only,” but it CERTAINLY implies that a physical gift is second-best.
Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Post # 7
I think any reference to any potential gift, monetary or other on a wedding invitation is kind of rude.
I did this for my SIL’s bridal shower. We were in Europe and picked up a shower gift that we really thought she’d love from the Louvre, but her shower invite came with “any donations to the bride and groom’s cash tree would be much appreciated”, which I followed up with her about, and she told me she didn’t want people “filling her house with junk”… so I kept it, and felt really annoyed that I had to shell out twice for a gift, since I couldn’t exactly fly back to Paris…
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
I second that. I don’t think you can really have control over gifts or money. You get what you get, and you should just appreciate what you do get.
That said, I would DIE if we got money for our honeymoon instead of kitchen gadgets!
Post # 9
Any mention of a gift in the invitation makes me wonder if it’s me or my gift they are inviting to the wedding. I think it’s ok to put info on your wedsite or tell your mom that if people ask what you really need is cash, but you are registered at XYZ. People who try to dictate gifts to me usually end up with a lovely card and nothing else. 😀
Post # 10
I don’t think you’re being silly at all! Asking for money is rude – it doesn’t matter if it was through a cutesy poem or not. Also, it’s rude and tacky to include anything about gifts with the invite.
Post # 11
make sure to buy them a dish set from ross.
I hate gift poems.
Post # 12
I personally believe asking for money is rude — if you want a cash gift, you should have a limited registry and have your parents and Future In-Laws hint that money would be more appreciated for X (“Jane and John are saving to buy a house..”). The only thing I hate more than people asking for money is those”cute” poems, which really get under my skin.
That being said — I think it’s a cultural thing. From other Bees on here, I think they are quite common in Australia and some other areas (please correct me if I’m wrong! It’s just the impression I got!).
Post # 13
Yeah, trying to control what gifts people are getting for you is very rude. It comes across as not being thankful for the important things in life, such as having people you love to invite to your wedding and people loving you enough to show up. To me, their presence is far more important than their presents.
Post # 14
@abbie017: Giving money at a weddng is common in Australia (which is why I have no issues in giving it) it was more the way it was worded that put me off.
Post # 15
@Bears-bub: Right — I thought the poem itself was an Australian thing. The only Bees I’ve seen posting about them a lot were from there (or living there/getting married there I guess is a better statement). But who knows! Unchartered waters!
Post # 16
@abbie017: It’s a pretty big country, I am sure in some circles its more than ok. I guess I come from one where people are generally more subtle ;p